Tinder Opening Lines

[Michael_25]

I just got Tinder and swiped some 200-odd women and have had only 4 matches. None of whom responded to my initial text message. Is there any suave opening I could use to get the ladies wet and wanting my dick (which, without bragging, is 7 inches. And I've been told more than once that I'm well-endowed.)

 

[G_Chem]

I hear sending a picture of your dick with zero context is the way to get into any woman’s pants. Try that.

-GC

 

[MsDiz]

No one cares how big your dick is. It’s your profile pic that’s the problem.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

You're obviously too desperate and have too little to offer...

Try saying "I'm rich and old with a dodgy heart and a massive life insurance policy"... :D

 

[MsDiz]

You're obviously too desperate and have too little to offer...

Try saying "I'm rich and old with a dodgy heart and a massive life insurance policy"... :D

Want my number?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Want my number?

Oh yes. I'm a 90 year old billionaire and looking for 'love'.

That how it's done @Michael_25

 

[Michael_25]

You're obviously too desperate and have too little to offer.

What do you mean too little to offer? I have a wealth of interests going on ... guess it's the ugliness that's holding me back. Also, thanks for being so abrasive with that response.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

What do you mean too little to offer? I have a wealth of interests going on ... guess it's the ugliness that's holding me back. Also, thanks for being so abrasive with that response.

It was a joke mate. Check out the flavour of the thread so far...

 

[alasdairm]

how about "i asked a bunch of junkie strangers on the internet what i should say to you and this is what they told me to say..."



alasdair

 

[MsDiz]

What do you mean too little to offer? I have a wealth of interests going on ... guess it's the ugliness that's holding me back. Also, thanks for being so abrasive with that response.

It’s not ugliness, it’s sometimes the way the pics are taken. The content. Eye contact etc. Google “tips for taking good tinder pics” and have at it.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey man - just try to keep it very casual. Pretend you're not trying to just fuck, and that she actually could be the love of your life. That doesn't mean shower her with affection, it just means take an actual and real interest in her life. With out being creepy.

There's many fine lines, but the bottom line, is be yourself and you'll find much better matches. I'm not saying you're not doing this already, just keep it in mind.

@Michael_25

 

[Michael_25]

I guess Tinder is pointless when you're a 3/10 guy like me. Not even the somewhat unattractive girls swipe on me.

 

[Jabberwocky]

how about "i asked a bunch of junkie strangers on the internet what i should say to you and this is what they told me to say..."



alasdair

Works for me. And if she won't get out of the car without a kiss check too if her shoulders look like a linebackers, its a dead giveaway.

 

[Michael_25]

No one cares how big your dick is. It’s your profile pic that’s the problem.

Then why is it that when I swipe right on fat fucking bush pigs I still don't get a match? Or are 8/10 Chads harpooning these whales and dragging them aboard and thus these fatties think they're the bees knees and that their snatch is the fucking Taj Mahal?

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Your shit attitude is probably a factor.

 

[Michael_25]

Your shit attitude is probably a factor.

Well they don't know my attitude until we match and start texting, which hasn't happened.

 

[sdxyln]

Is there any suave opening I could use to get the ladies wet and wanting my dick (which, without bragging, is 7 inches. And I've been told more than once that I'm well-endowed.)

Massage my c0ck like you're my ragdoll, phys1cks!

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

Drop your age if you look young. Like 5 years.

Don't beat yourself up. Its covid. I'm sure girls are being extra picky. And don't look like you have covid either in your pics. Or maybe act like you have it and wear a mask. You never know.

 

[MsDiz]

Then why is it that when I swipe right on fat fucking bush pigs I still don't get a match? Or are 8/10 Chads harpooning these whales and dragging them aboard and thus these fatties think they're the bees knees and that their snatch is the fucking Taj Mahal?

I’m guessing because your well ugly mate...

 

[Jabberwocky]

Then why is it that when I swipe right on fat fucking bush pigs I still don't get a match? Or are 8/10 Chads harpooning these whales and dragging them aboard and thus these fatties think they're the bees knees and that their snatch is the fucking Taj Mahal?

Man, that’s some level of toxic misogyny you are letting hang out there. If you ain’t got looks you ought to be working more on your charm. Why are you swiping right on women you have such distaste for anyway?