Threesome Rules

[Psychubus]

I am just curious if any of you would ever consider a 3some (not with me, this is not an offer but a posed question), and would it be MMF or MFF or MMM or FFF, and if so what sort of rules would you implement? Would you do it with your partner, or only with people you didn't know? Whom would you allow to touch whom?

Also state your sexual orientation and what your relationship (if any) status is.

 

[Gldm]

Well I'm a bi male, and I've already covered MMF, MFF, and MMM so I guess there's not much left in terms of a checklist.

However, I still enjoy them. I prefer having them with my husband involved though I wouldn't say no to one without him. As for which one's the best, it depends entirely on the people involved. I can't say one combination is obviously "better" than another.

Rules tend to vary by the situation. I'm not really a big fan of rules other than the two big ones. 1. No means no, and 2. No hurting anyone. Usually if another person or couple wants to start writing up a rulebook of what we can or can't do we just pass on the offer.

 

[Psychubus]

^ Nice.

I figured the two rules you mentioned were an obvious given.

But don't you get any jealousy about another guy touching your husband if you are in a MMM group (especially if your hubby is paying more attention to him than you)? I think that is the only thing I would have a problem with.

 

[mariacallas]

In his latest book Tommyland (of which I have a copy) Tommy Lee (of Motley Crue) discusses the technical problems with threesomes and the inherent superiority of foursomes.

"There are only so many things you can all do together and there are a few lovely things you can do to both of them at the same time and them to you. But when it comes time for fucking, unless there's something out there that I don't know about, you've only got one dick so there's always someone waiting. The thing to do is have foursomes. Three chicks and just you. If you have three chicks as into one another as they are into you, you can fuck one and watch the other two go at it, which adds to the overall horniness. I may increase the number of girls, but I'll never be with fewer than three."

Amen to that. (if i was a guy and into group sex, that is )

 

[Mariposa]

I would not have one at this point in my life, and I don't expect to in the future.

Heterosexual monogamous female here, but the first two used to be a lot more fluid than they are now. I'm happy being monogamous and am more than satisfied with my guy.

 

[shutterbug]

i'm a straight female, with a boyfriend

i've had a MFF w/ an ex-bf and a friend a couple yrs ago and after that the relationship kinda went down the drain (granted it was never that serious and i was already getting *tired* of him before the sexual escapade...probably why i did it in the first place). anyway, it was spur-of-the-moment...started with my friend and i kissing for him and we were all completely wasted...but i actually had a blast.

i would never do it with my current bf, or probably anyone i really loved (i, personally, couldn't stand to see someone i luv w/ another woman)...but with friends/ fuckbuddies/ etc. i would do it again for sure! (if i was single)...threesomes are fun

as for any rules (things do get sticky when 2 of the 3 are a couple...that's why no-strings attached threesomes are the best IMO): my sister had a threesome w/ her friend and her friend's bf (MFF) and her friend got pissed off when the boy came with my sis and not his gf. lol....i dunno what the girl expected with something like that...

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

In his latest book Tommyland (of which I have a copy) Tommy Lee (of Motley Crue) discusses the technical problems with threesomes and the inherent superiority of foursomes.


Amen to that. (if i was a guy and into group sex, that is )

I'll add a Haleluja to that Amen, sister.

Foursomes are better (2 male, 2 female, ideally).

Still - I won't pass up a threesome if one happens to pop up and I'm in the mood. It hasn't happened for ages, but my fiance and I have taken both girls and guys home before - friends, mainly! (Our house began to get a reputation as the playboy mansion there for a while ).

I like both combinations - both have their charms. I'm more hetrosexual than I am bi, so I obviously enjoy the luxury of two men fawning over me. I can get turned on by both genders, but am usually more sexually satisfied with males. Then again, a F-M-M threesome can be exhausting, especially when the guys are not interested in playing with each other.

I enjoy F-F-M threesomes (also my fiance's preferred combination, surprise surprise :D) because I really revel in women's bodies, I think they're beautiful, and there's a certain theatrics to a F-F-M threesome with the girls putting on a kind of "show". It's more sensual and playful, less 'right down to business'. Often there's dress-ups involved. Big fun!

I hope that answered your question. Did you have any others?

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

what sort of rules would you implement?

1. We rarely have "all the way" sex during these encounters - with other people, that is. With each other, in front of the other people - fine. But very, very rarely (it's happened only a handful of times in 5 years) have we actually had penetrative sex with someone outside the relationship. They would have to be pretty special people. So it's generally understood by all involved beforehand, that it's a 'play' situation only, unless we communicate otherwise.

2. When moving from, say kissing another person to oral, a courteous "is this okay," to your partner is required. You don't assume anything.

3. Too much cuddling with another person to the exclusion of your partner isn't on. You must always make your partner feel special and be attentive to them, even if you are enjoying the company of others.

4. No regrets! :D

 

[fruitfly]

I agree that foursome DEFINITELY trumps threesome.

CC, I am so not surprised at all that you own a copy of Tommyland! :D

 

[not_broken_420]

16, bisexual female, single.

I have been involved with both MFF and MMF. Speaking from random past experiences, I'd say I prefer MFF. I'm not big on rules; as long as everyone is comfortable and no one feels excluded, anything goes. I would prefer it if no one is romantically involved with each other, because drama has occurred because of this in the past..:-\ I would still consider doing it while in a relationship, though, based on circumstances.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

^^ when you're single no rules is fine - if you do this within a relationship, a few guidelines helps prevent possible negative emotional ramifications.

I forgot to add...

5. No play unless your partner is in the room with you! It's not about trust for us, it's because the whole point of the exercise is to do it together and derive pleasure from each others' enjoyment.

(these are only our guidelines, others' might be different)

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I've had two MMM ones.

The first one was highly planned out and I did it with my friend and his (then) boyfriend/lover. I mostly just got blown a lot and we masturbated each other.
I was highly attracted to my friend (and he was to me) but not so much to his bf (also a friend of mine) and I wasn't sure if I'd be unintentionally crossing any boundaries by doing certain things cause the bf loved my friend unconditionally.

Unfortunatley they broke up but not because of the 3 way.

Or the 2nd MMM 3 some was one that happened where I was at some dinner hosted by some butch men (they called themselves bears) and I rubbed my friend (from the 3 way above) through his jeans with some other guy's husband and then I moved over (we were all watching a non-pornographic movie with some other guys in a pile on the floor) when he went to the bathroom (I thought he was having a wank and wanted to burst in on him but he later told me he wasn't) and I unzipped and let this guy wank me and I took my friend's boyfriend's hand and let him do it too. I didn't leave them out though since I masturbated/kissed/touched them as well. But my friend's bf has big balls and was wearing briefs and we were kinda doing all this under a blanket in a big pile of bodies all twisted about and at weird angles, and I wasn't sure how the stranger's husband would feel about this. In the middle of it I was thinking shit, what if I cum on this guy's blanket (I'd met the owners of the house once in a bar setting) and when I cum I yell fuck really loud and thrash all about.

But later when the stranger's husband kissed and almost chewed off my friend's (the guy I'm heavily attracted to) ear I knew he didn't care at all. HOnestly, I expected everyone in the group (well all but like one guy) to start masturbating together but apparently some people wanted to watch the movie (sordid lives).

Nobody came but it was still fun getting edged a lot, and I consider it to be sex even if there wasn't penetration.

I'm not sure of my orientation (at this time) and it's rather fluid, and I don't like labels to define something as broad as sexuality.

I'd like to do a MMF and a MFF 3 some as well.

 

[katmeow]

I'm 25 and female and have had several threesomes, all MFF. I'd love to have one with two guys, but seeing as I don't really dig sex with strangers, the mission to find two males I know, who would be comfortable with that is a little more difficult

I think it's important if you are involved in a threesome with a couple, that the couple feel you are not a threat to their relationship. If you are the single and are in any way more than just sexually attracted to either of the couple, I'd steer clear. My experiences have either been as the single to a couple or in a group of singles. It's definitely something I would consider if I was in a relationship with someone who was interested but probably not something I would try until the r'ship was well established.

2. When moving from, say kissing another person to oral, a courteous "is this okay," to your partner is required. You don't assume anything.

I'd also add to this, don't assume that what has been ok on previous occasions is ok on this occasion. Possibly one of my worst experiences was not realising that the female of the couple I was with had nodded off. The male and I started fooling around on the basis that it had been fine on previous encounters. She woke up to be quite distressed about what was happening. Although it all got sorted out in the end, I learnt a nice lesson out of that one. Assumption is the mother of all fuckups ... ongoing communication is the big key.

 

[Beatlebot]

You guys make it sound hard

Being in a multiple partner situation and having to remind myself not to get carried away because it might make someone jealous - well that just sounds like more trouble than it is worth.

I'm glad I had my only threesome when I was single. There were no rules beyond what you would expect out of a 'normal' sex situation.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

I'd also add to this, don't assume that what has been ok on previous occasions is ok on this occasion. Possibly one of my worst experiences was not realising that the female of the couple I was with had nodded off. The male and I started fooling around on the basis that it had been fine on previous encounters. She woke up to be quite distressed about what was happening. Although it all got sorted out in the end, I learnt a nice lesson out of that one. Assumption is the mother of all fuckups ... ongoing communication is the big key.

Absolutely! I've had this happen myself. We'll get back together with the same person or couple we've been with previously, but this time, something just feels "not right" when the action starts to get intense. That's when the constant 'checking at strategic intervals' comes in handy... when asked, you can just say "actually I'd prefer it if we stayed at this level for a bit, is that okay?" rather than having to actually STOP them, which makes you feel like a huge bitch.

A little story about changing expectations and communication. I was feeling tired one time and left my partner playing on the couch with a girl, while I went to close my eyes in the bedroom for a bit. They were just kissing and engaging in mutual masturbation at this stage, but previously, we had all engaged in oral. I woke up to the sounds of extremely loud groans and came out to investigate. They had progressed back to oral - obviously (and probably understandably) thinking it was okay because it had been okay previously in the session. But this time, my partner had orgasmed in her mouth ...and I hadn't been there.

I wasn't happy at all, I felt like I'd missed out; and there's another example of a situation where if I had have communicated clearly (no oral while I'm away), hurt feelings would not have occurred. It's never too trivial to mention.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

You guys make it sound hard

.

You'd think so, from reading these posts but it's actually not. There's talking, of course - but most of it occurs in the non-verbal communication that is easy and fluid for the partners in a relationship. You learn to pick up on each others' signals. Every 'rule' here basically comes down to one thing: respect. But when you try to spell out all these subleties in a post, it ends up sounding much more complicated than it is. It's not like the whole time is spent addressing a rule book

 

[clip']

when i saw this thread i remembered a recentish thread about the rules of a 3some and one post in particular.

This is amazing, my friend is about to have a 3some and I explained "the rules" to her. (Over MSN)
Now she wants them in writing, this is what I have so far.
I will amend when I finish

The rules for 2 guys and a girl.
------All parites.
-First of all, sort out your emotions. There is fluid, there is lips and tits and cocks and all sorts of stuff going on, the last thing you want is to throw your heart into the mix. So sort out who you like and who you don't mind getting it on with. Further to that, if you are the "third-wheel" in a 3some, the couple will not break up just cuz you are a better fuck so if you like her -or him, don't use this as an excuse to try to hook up with them.
-It is a one time only, (unless stated) so don't keep trying for a replay. Once you done for the night, you are done. The next time, is another time altogether.
-Be carefull. Unless you know all partied involved have had STD checks and came back clean, be carefull.

------Guys.
-Guys don't like cock. They like their own but only cuz they have been around it for 20 something years and it is just apart of them. Other guys cocks are not theirs. As a result of the fundemental fact, don't touch another guys cock. ESPECIALLY WITH YOURS!!!
It's not cool or funny.
-In fact, don't touch the other guy really.
-Especially not his ass.
-Especially not his ass with your cock. Don't put it in there. (Unless he asks and you like, in which case "why is the girl there??")
-Don't look at the other guy in the eyes. He will not find it romantic.

------Girls
-You have three holes, two cocks. All of them are going to get used, deal with it.
-With that in mind, get an enama, it ain't the bad.
-It ain't over until your done.
-Have fun!

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

*GRoan* how heterocentric...

------Guys.
-Guys don't like cock. They like their own but only cuz they have been around it for 20 something years and it is just apart of them. Other guys cocks are not theirs. As a result of the fundemental fact, don't touch another guys cock. ESPECIALLY WITH YOURS!!!
It's not cool or funny.
-In fact, don't touch the other guy really.
-Especially not his ass.
-Especially not his ass with your cock. Don't put it in there. (Unless he asks and you like, in which case "why is the girl there??")
-Don't look at the other guy in the eyes. He will not find it romantic.

 

[clip']

meh, in the sake of free speech and equality, complaining about something heterocentric is as offensive to straight people as someone complaining about something homosexual is to homosexuals.

discrimination is a double edged sword etc etc

 

[Gldm]

^ Nice.

I figured the two rules you mentioned were an obvious given.

But don't you get any jealousy about another guy touching your husband if you are in a MMM group (especially if your hubby is paying more attention to him than you)? I think that is the only thing I would have a problem with.

I don't really get jealous in the traditional sense, even when my husband goes to play with someone else without me. I only really get upset when I'm left out of things or ignored because I'm unliked. Usually 4+ groups tend to work better because it's less probable that nobody else will be interested in me or vice versa.

If it's a pre-agreed thing that I'm not wanted then usually I say yea or nay before things start and since I already know not to get my hopes up and I usually just wander off and do something else. It doesn't really bother me, I'm glad he gets to have a good time even if I don't.