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There is nothing you can do to make someone come back?

queenbee1127

queenbee1127

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
1,051
Location
Denver, CO
I was watching Swingers today and the opening conversation dawned on me as total truth:

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back.But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.

Those last two sentences really made me think about my current partner and I "taking space" (his idea, he's overwhelmed with his job). There is nothing you can do to make a partner want to come back?

Discuss.
 
Kind of related to the thread I made recently about a girl I was seeing, who got the wrong idea yet adores me and everything, haven't contacted her in 2 weeks now. I really want to contact her, just to see if she's alright if anything, but I know there's nothing I can do.. if she wants to she will contact me.

I think if you make a strong enough impression upon someone (and you didn't fuck it up by being a twat) then there's a good chance they'll come back when there's silence. Obviously everyone is different though.
 
Of course you can't make somebody want to come back to you once they've left, you can't forcibly manipulate a person's emotions like that without some form of brainwashing.
 
Why would you do such a thing?

If they don't want to come back to you, then why would you want to force them to so do?

You might be a great manipulator, but that does not provide a foundation for a healthy, real relationship.
 
Uhm, no. I wouldn't do such a thing..I was simply saying that to "make" a person want you back, you would essentially have to forcibly manipulate their feelings/emotions. There's no other way to legitimately "make" them feel anything. My overall point is that it would be extremely difficult to do--not to mention morally and ethically wrong--so no, you can't make somebody want to come back to you once they've left. You're right though Mariposa, why would you want to force somebody to do anything that they don't want to do?
 
Yeah you can't really make someone come back to you. You've got to lay it on the table. Tell them how you feel. Then it's up to them to make their own decision.
 
Depends on the variables. You just taking a break O.P? Though I agree, nothing that isn't there naturally can be forced on to any person. Sure, one can shine and bring forth their best sides, cater to the others needs, wants (to a point) but if that special 'something something' isn't there to begin with, chances are it's not coming. They either have it or they do not.
 
llama112 said:
Yeah you can't really make someone come back to you. You've got to lay it on the table. Tell them how you feel. Then it's up to them to make their own decision.
Click to expand...

I would definitely agree with this. Tell then how you feel and then let it be.
 
Well that's kind of obvious isn't it? There's a dmx quote about this, i forget what it is word for word but it goes like...

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be.
 
It really depends on the personality.. some peoples perception of their own feelings can depend on how they perceive others to be feeling. Maybe they're in the exact same position as you - waiting for you to contact them, trapped in a moment of uncertainty and not knowing whether to act is the best thing.
 
The best you can do is be there for him and be patient.

If he truly loves you, he will come around.
 
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