You see me....
And i know not what you see...
What do you see...i wonder??
The distorted, convoluted image that i have twisted and contorted so...so much that i have no recognition of what I really am...
An image is there...but is what I see what's really there?
If I saw what is really there (rather than what i've created over the years)..would i be happy?
Or rather, if I were happy, would i have the capacity to see what is really there??
-Why is it so hard to give myself credit?
Why do I think it's *bad* to think positively about myself (that would be conceited wouldn't it??)
Yes, Dad taught me, there's ALWAYS room for improvement, you can ALWAYS be better.
But does that mean i'm not good?? (at all?)
AND, he's not around much anymore, i don't see him as a big influence in my life anymore, so why do I still believe in his ideas?? Why can't i get over it? Why do i put so much pressure on myself to get over it and when i can't i get mad at myself even more?
It's a vicious cycle, and I wonder if and when it will ever end...(when i die?)
-How can i like myself, or learn to like myself, when I can't see myself for what I *really* am (how other people are able to see me cuz they have an unbiased view??)
ah...just another day of low self-esteem i guess.......
And i know not what you see...
What do you see...i wonder??
The distorted, convoluted image that i have twisted and contorted so...so much that i have no recognition of what I really am...
An image is there...but is what I see what's really there?
If I saw what is really there (rather than what i've created over the years)..would i be happy?
Or rather, if I were happy, would i have the capacity to see what is really there??
-Why is it so hard to give myself credit?
Why do I think it's *bad* to think positively about myself (that would be conceited wouldn't it??)
Yes, Dad taught me, there's ALWAYS room for improvement, you can ALWAYS be better.
But does that mean i'm not good?? (at all?)
AND, he's not around much anymore, i don't see him as a big influence in my life anymore, so why do I still believe in his ideas?? Why can't i get over it? Why do i put so much pressure on myself to get over it and when i can't i get mad at myself even more?
It's a vicious cycle, and I wonder if and when it will ever end...(when i die?)
-How can i like myself, or learn to like myself, when I can't see myself for what I *really* am (how other people are able to see me cuz they have an unbiased view??)
ah...just another day of low self-esteem i guess.......
