the results are always perfect

[deaf eye]

i know hypothetical situations are kinda a waste of time to dwell on , but this has been popping in my head left and right,
i know its my fault for doing everything that i have done, but my pop had me around alot of shit since i was young. offering me hits off his spliffs when i was coming home from cub scouts, if i wanted to drink before i was 10 i could go ahead and drink whatever i wanted when i was with him when i was 11 i was over in holland harvesting plants before i smoked, when i was 14 i was smoking out with him,

a few months after smoking with him i was into psychedelics, the only plus i can think of is i heading his warning about powders till i was about 20,
so at least my brain had time to develop before i started burning it out with harder shit .
i know ill never know , but im wondering if i would of been better off without him in my life, then i get to thinking i may of gotten into a lot more fucked up shit with my high school friends,

hypothetical meanderings where there are no true answers ~ im sew sari

 

[Legerity]

It's impossible to know what would have happened if he had not been a part of your life, so don't stress about that. What happened happened. You don't have to "blame" yourself, it seems like just about the only likely outcome from that situation would be for you to start using drugs.

I was also using drugs with my dad. It was pretty nuts, me and my girlfriend and him and his girlfriend would all get high together. Smoke weed, do coke, speed, whatever. I was older than you though and had already started using drugs myself, so it's not the same type of situation.

Anyways, it won't change anything to think about the past. All our experiences shape who we are today, and difficult situations can make a person grow up a lot quicker. If you can find some things you like about yourself maybe you can be grateful for your history. I know for me I really wouldn't change a thing.

 

[Cohesion]

The title of your thread is endearing.

I have been thinking lately about people who place a huge amount of weight on their parents/ideas about their parents/events involving parents...

I'm with you on the developing brain part of your story. (I started pot & drugs at 18/19).

My environment was opposite of yours re: substance use. In my family, I grew up
1. In christian church
2. Seeing addicts and drunks mess up all the time

There was very little notion of "moderation" or "functional" [user]. Rather, there was-- my dad drank more and more at night, after work (I was 13)-- but it seemed like there was something "hush hush" or "dark" about substances in general.

My MOM was always having substance/alcohol issues, getting bailed out by her parents, just stupid insanity. I remember. But THAT'S NOT me. People say I am "turning into my mom". Heard it for so many years, it's just hanging in the air there.

I would LOVE to have grown up in an environment/community of people who used substances and GOOD things happened as a result.

 

[Roger&Me]

I would LOVE to have grown up in an environment/community of people who used substances and GOOD things happened as a result.

With the exception of truly necessary medications and (maybe) psychedelics, I can't think of any instances where drug use is likely to make good things happen..

 

[TheLostBoys]

I had a friend when I was about 12 yrs old & his 20 yr old brother would force him to smoke weed every day even tho he didnt want to. That eventually got him into harder drugs & got in a failed marriage when he was 18. He finally cleaned himself up & joined the airforce & lives in japan with a new wife & several children & he is very happy with how his life turned but he hates his brother for what he did to him to this day.

 

[Cohesion]

With the exception of truly necessary medications and (maybe) psychedelics, I can't think of any instances where drug use is likely to make good things happen..

The grey area lies in "truly necessary medications"..