The relationship between fear and respect

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Fear and respect are very similar feelings, as anyone who's heard a ghetto kid use the terms interchangeably can attest to. But they're not the same. Where is the border between fear and respect, or rather, how are they related to each other?

Here's my theory. Respect always involves at least a bit of low level fear, or at least the potential for it. That is, one cannot feel true respect someone or something that isn't capable of adversely affecting him. Respect also has other ingredients. It's kind of like liking and fearing someone at the same time. If you look at the root of the word ("look back" in Latin), this makes sense. Respecting someone is like constantly looking back over your shoulder at someone following you, always making sure they're never too far or too close.

Fear is a purer emotion. It's simply the recognition that someone or something has the potential to harm you, and nothing more. It doesn't involve the complex mix of attraction and avoidance that respect does -- it simply makes people want to get away from the object of fear ASAP, and stay away.

 

[rewiiired]

There is no respect (or love) in fearing someone, or vice versa. There's only a response to a percieved danger, and a change in attitude one adopts in the desire to escape that danger or to befriend what one percieves as a `greater power' in order to be a part of it rather than it's target.

Real respect is in empathy and understanding, of two different people on a level ground, looking straight at each other -- not in a top-dog/under-dog relationship, where one is looking up at the other, and then away, as the other is looking down at him.

 

[DarthMom]

With respect, there should only be emotional fear, not physical.

For example, I respect my husband, so I fear saying or doing something that would alter his respect, love, and high opinion of me.....but I never EVER ever, would fear he would hurt me.


I would NEVER respect something or someone who I fear would harm me.

 

[FisheyeLens]

Two separate things to me...

Respect is built on trust and some sort of relationship. I respect somebody from knowing they are trustworthy and kind. Of course there is that general respect of other's rights and hearts...duh...

Fear is a completely different thing and fearing somebody is not respecting them...as soon and they are no longer about to evoke fear they are no longer "respected". Like my parents for example...when I got too big for them to physically punnish me...I lost my fear of them, respect was never there!

FisheyeLens %)

 

[sexyanon2]

why can't there be multiple definings of respect and fear?

it seems to me that all of these are valid examples of respect.

i don't think it's possible to define an abstract idea with a simple sentence or paragraph. you need to give multiple examples.

like in siddartha:
the master asks the pupil: "define this bucket of water."
so the pupil kicks over the bucket of water.
the master smiles and nods in approval.

 

[L2R]

MDAO, are you mistaking caution for respect?

 

[Void]

Respect has got nothing to do with fear. You look at a concentration camp with jews run by nazi's, they may fear being shot by nazi's and they may fall in line but I doubt they respect them. There is a type of perverted view of respect played out in hiphop or whatever, but that aint real respect. Its just putting a new spin on various negative emotions and perceptions.

 

[kittyinthedark]

My dad always says to my little (obnoxious) brother, "You can respect me, or you can fear me." I think that situation describes the difference pretty well. Either my little brother can respect my dad and do as he is told the first time around, or he can fear my dad because he knows respect is a mutual thing and if there is no respect on one end, all there is to go on is fear. My parents were always far more the type to try to work things out at least at first, but when my brother or I would really get out of line, well..., it was best to get out of range. Quickly. Not any physical abuse or anything, but I endured a select few spankings that I will never forget, and believe me, being yelled at by a parent that you do actually respect is punishment enough.

I think it *is* possible to respect someone who doesn't respect you, but I think that's the exception to the rule. I think respect is more of a mutual thing whereas fear is far more one-sided.

 

[heliospan]

Like everyone has said already, respect is willful and voluntary.

 

[Void]

No doubt its an interesting cultural phenomina. The black ghetto culture in the USA is its own subculture, and it is one that has faced oppression in many points in its history. Kinda wierd that a group that faced oppression would be into all this 'respect' oppression, via guns and street rep and all that. Though if ya spend all your time on a street corner peddling drugs you may want to make yourself feel better by saying how elite you are.