mutrmywrd
Greenlighter
me and my ex got together in july of 09 and we were inseperable every single day, we lived together from the first week. when we got together, we were both clean and sober. in mid-august of 09 he overdosed on heroin, i had to give him CPR and mouth to mouth for almost 25 minutes until ambulance showed up, and they told me i saved his life. he was already on probation so they sent him to 21 days inpatient rehab.
i wrote him a 2 page letter almost every night. when he got out we had intentions on stayin clean for his sake (probation, his family, etc) on oct 6th we ran into an old friend we havent seen in years and that was the beginning of my end. we started smoking speed on that day, by the first week of november we were injecting it, by the 2nd week of november he was making it, on thanksgiving my dad committed suicide and the last week of november our roommate got busted so we had to move.
the 2nd week in december i was left while he went to "work" with another girl my age in an empty house and was told to wait, when i woke up DEA was in my face. i pretty much saved his ass that day but i was in shock for 3 days. after that i told him that i thought hed changed and i didnt want him to make it anymore, he started leaving me for days at a time with his parents not telling me anything or answering my phone calls. when he did come back on new years it was just to give me more dope. when he came back on the 6th he had been up for awhile and he got pretty physical with me, he knocked me out. i have no family or friends and because i was in that house when DEA came nobody wanted to talk to me, they all thought i was a snitch.
I had nowhere to go and he didnt care. about a month later he got pulled over and the feds impounded his car. hes become completely careless with his "work" and told me personally "i dont care anymore, they got me then they got me" he brags about his "talents" and tells everyone what he does, just recently i heard hes in the process of being indicted, through all this time ive been there for him, talked to him when he needs to, because i truly love him, weve known each other for 4 years now and i have been through hell and back twice since jan 6th because ive been homeless. he doesnt see me as someone who cares and loves him at all even though everything about me shows it. i always ask him to take a night off and come hang out with me like before and he never comes through, he just thinks im a piece of ass.
I think hes trying to distance himself from me because he doesnt want me to get in trouble when he does. the last time i saw him we were only around each other a short time before we kept accidentally callin each other "babe" or starin at each other, im getting so many mixed signals from him, i want to believe he still loves me but his actions dont show it at all, has anyone gotten through this with good results? is there any hope for us at all? what can i do to make him see that i honestly love him for who he is and was before and im not just a crazy psycho bitch. (hes had a few obsessed and stalkers in his past, he thinks all women are crazy)
i wrote him a 2 page letter almost every night. when he got out we had intentions on stayin clean for his sake (probation, his family, etc) on oct 6th we ran into an old friend we havent seen in years and that was the beginning of my end. we started smoking speed on that day, by the first week of november we were injecting it, by the 2nd week of november he was making it, on thanksgiving my dad committed suicide and the last week of november our roommate got busted so we had to move.
the 2nd week in december i was left while he went to "work" with another girl my age in an empty house and was told to wait, when i woke up DEA was in my face. i pretty much saved his ass that day but i was in shock for 3 days. after that i told him that i thought hed changed and i didnt want him to make it anymore, he started leaving me for days at a time with his parents not telling me anything or answering my phone calls. when he did come back on new years it was just to give me more dope. when he came back on the 6th he had been up for awhile and he got pretty physical with me, he knocked me out. i have no family or friends and because i was in that house when DEA came nobody wanted to talk to me, they all thought i was a snitch.
I had nowhere to go and he didnt care. about a month later he got pulled over and the feds impounded his car. hes become completely careless with his "work" and told me personally "i dont care anymore, they got me then they got me" he brags about his "talents" and tells everyone what he does, just recently i heard hes in the process of being indicted, through all this time ive been there for him, talked to him when he needs to, because i truly love him, weve known each other for 4 years now and i have been through hell and back twice since jan 6th because ive been homeless. he doesnt see me as someone who cares and loves him at all even though everything about me shows it. i always ask him to take a night off and come hang out with me like before and he never comes through, he just thinks im a piece of ass.
I think hes trying to distance himself from me because he doesnt want me to get in trouble when he does. the last time i saw him we were only around each other a short time before we kept accidentally callin each other "babe" or starin at each other, im getting so many mixed signals from him, i want to believe he still loves me but his actions dont show it at all, has anyone gotten through this with good results? is there any hope for us at all? what can i do to make him see that i honestly love him for who he is and was before and im not just a crazy psycho bitch. (hes had a few obsessed and stalkers in his past, he thinks all women are crazy)
Last edited by a moderator:
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
).
I think she moved on...