The HPPD From HELL!!!

[killronaldreagan]

All of my hard-drug abuse and mixing, along with my ODs etc. were all experienced during the 8th grade at age 13, stopping a few weeks before my 14th birthday. I've been kinda clean (I stopped bingeing, but I never stopped psychedelics, I do amps every once in a while still) Ever since I stopped, the dozens upon dozens of physical, psychological and emotional problems have emerged, but the worst is my current level of intensely strong HPPD, which I'll try to detail.

The primary problem was too many dissociatives for the worst parts of the HPPD; people disappearing from reality. It's happened to teachers halfway through class, and to entire hallways full of kids inbetween classes. It starts with minimal facial recognition, to they're whole bodies slowly fading away until they're gone. It's problematic to say the least.

The secondary problem is just general blatant hallucinations. Common ones include friends (and only friends) turning green and then slowly morphing to match elven bone proportions while gaining an inherent intelligence, like some kind of deity. It's getting ridiculous, and it's making me really paranoid because I keep thinking no one I hang out with trusts me and that they want me gone based on how elven they are, and I can't shake it. It's impairing my ability to form relationships, and has sprouted numerous problems. There's also the intense intangible yet consuming fear that everyone who isn't actively a best friend is out to get me, seeing swarms of insects everywhere, water ripples through the air, hair growing out at a visible rate on anyone with longish hair, acid-like visuals on anything man-made and mushroom-like visuals on anything in nature. There's also the weird issue of seeing strong mushroom-like hallucinations in a completely stilted form as if that's actually how they look. They're body becomes made up of various patterns in the basic shapes of they're actual limbs heads etc., but completely stationary so I can see how they function with deformities made out of trippy.

None of this shit's cool anymore, I eat exclusively whole-foods and get frequent exercise, so what my family (entirely made up of ex-drug freaks) says about it just being my nutrition seems pretty bullshit to me, especially with the nature of what's been going on. I know it's incurable, but does anyone have any methods of at least seeing people fully, or getting rid of heavy speed-induced paranoia besides more drugs, because I highly doubt putting more random shit into me won't help. Any tips?

 

[skoat]

Doing amps 'once in a while' can only exacerbate the HPPD. The seriousness of your symptoms means this is going to take some work and possibly medication (most probably,actually) to maintain a normal lifestyle.

I'm not saying its not 'curable' eventually, but thats a long time away from this current point.

Have you seen a Psychiatrist? I'd recommend it highly at this point. He can order the right type of scans or tell you what sort of specialist could have the best chance of helping your disorder. Don't bother with a Psychologist, you're beyond that at this point.

In the meantime until you can see a Dr., try anti-anxiety medication to help with the waves of anxiety that make an already difficult problem even more hard to live with. I'm not advocating drug abuse, but drug use.

Good luck.

 

[rollingstoned!]

stop all drugs. Stop All Drugs. STOP ALL DRUGS. I'm serious, not even anti-psychotics. Inform your family you are going to do this and that there will likely be some serious results of this, but you will need their support. If you are no better after a month (or whatever amount of time you feel is right), anti-psychotics it is.

Seriously though, I sometimes take around 7.4 mg of d-amphetamine spread throughout 24 hours, and it can fuck with my mind. Don't be suprised you have still HPPD until you at least STAY clean and let your brain attempt to self-repair. And don't fucking tell yourself it's incurable. That's lame and ensures you think it's incurable. Props with the natural foods and excercise though, most people don't realize how serious that is to the repairing process and your health in general. Good luck!

 

[nopipesdfw]

You should see a psychiatrist in my opinion. Don't mistrust him or take his word as everything as see where that gets you along with everything else.

I don't think you have HPPD, though. I sure do believe you that something is very wrong. I have tons of seemingly permanent visual distortions, but they consist of trails, patterns, fog, snow, static, etc. Personally I have no problem with these and I know they're a reminder about what's up .

 

[skoat]

I disagree with the statement 'stop all drugs', but it does come with good intentions.

Besides the use of Dr prescribed benzos or anti-psychotics, I agree with you rollingstoned.

 

[das_feuer]

Definitely see a psychiatrist about this. If you are prescribed medications I recommend that you try them. Stay away from all recreational substances, though. If these visual disturbances are such an intrusive and unwanted issue in your life, they will likely only become worse if you continue to use drugs.

 

[paranoid android]

I could really recomend nothing else in this case besides stopping all recreational drugs this includes cannabis and seing a doctor. Do not do anymore psychedelics or amphetamines as these 2 groups of drugs are notorious for causing psychological problems especially if your already abit out of it.

Ive known people with HPPD and it tends to get better with treatment and time in most people. But the sooner you get it treated the better off you will be.

 

[duneplanet]

geodon helps with my hppd a little bit. benzos take it away but the withdrawal will make your hppd or whatever you have worse than you ever thought possible3 so I would avoid them.

 

[killronaldreagan]

Doing amps 'once in a while' can only exacerbate the HPPD. The seriousness of your symptoms means this is going to take some work and possibly medication (most probably,actually) to maintain a normal lifestyle.

I'm not saying its not 'curable' eventually, but thats a long time away from this current point.

Have you seen a Psychiatrist? I'd recommend it highly at this point. He can order the right type of scans or tell you what sort of specialist could have the best chance of helping your disorder. Don't bother with a Psychologist, you're beyond that at this point.

In the meantime until you can see a Dr., try anti-anxiety medication to help with the waves of anxiety that make an already difficult problem even more hard to live with. I'm not advocating drug abuse, but drug use.

Good luck.

My brother's a Psychiatrist and I've lived with him all my life, plus a lot of my friends are right up my alley and they all say to wait it out for a few years and it'll go away. Also is putting even MORE shit into me really the best idea? Isn't there something with less risks of even more problems? My one friend did that exact same thing and just ended up going through withdrawal when he forgets to take it, but he has a severe panic disorder, and I have something I don't really think classifies as anxiety. It more so just tends to completely destroy my ability to feel comfortable being with people who I don't know too well who look normal but aren't actively friendly and understanding, but I'm never actively scared for my life, I just don't trust anyone. Is that technically anxiety?

 

[killronaldreagan]

stop all drugs. Stop All Drugs. STOP ALL DRUGS. I'm serious, not even anti-psychotics. Inform your family you are going to do this and that there will likely be some serious results of this, but you will need their support. If you are no better after a month (or whatever amount of time you feel is right), anti-psychotics it is.

Seriously though, I sometimes take around 7.4 mg of d-amphetamine spread throughout 24 hours, and it can fuck with my mind. Don't be suprised you have still HPPD until you at least STAY clean and let your brain attempt to self-repair. And don't fucking tell yourself it's incurable. That's lame and ensures you think it's incurable. Props with the natural foods and excercise though, most people don't realize how serious that is to the repairing process and your health in general. Good luck!

I had in total one tab of acid since I went clean. I do amps when I can get them, but Pseudo isn't the best plan and E and Meth's scarce so I've just sort of been chilling on a bit of weed to keep me sane, and have by chance stayed clean since I stopped (except less than a gram of pot every day because it helps the emotional aspects while making the visuals less noticeable). I REFUSE antipsychotics, or any foreign chemical that promises to fix everything because I don't believe that I can go on meds and watch everything reverse itself. Call it ignorant or whatever, but DRUGS ARE BAD MKAY. If the doctor thinks putting me on tranquilizers and antipsychotics will help then he can go fuck himself. (My brother's dad is heavily Bipolar and I've seen the effects his meds have had on him. That shit's FUCKED UP!)

 

[killronaldreagan]

I could really recomend nothing else in this case besides stopping all recreational drugs this includes cannabis and seing a doctor. Do not do anymore psychedelics or amphetamines as these 2 groups of drugs are notorious for causing psychological problems especially if your already abit out of it.

Ive known people with HPPD and it tends to get better with treatment and time in most people. But the sooner you get it treated the better off you will be.

I've had a tab of acid and didn't stop smoking weed since I quit everything else. My brother (who is a psychiatrist) and my best friend (another person who experienced the issues caused by abusing amps AND dissociatives like I did) BOTH told me to wait two or three years and it'll go away on it's own, and that in some cases it doesn't go away. To be perfectly honest the acid and shroom visuals, the ripples, the green could all be ignored if people just stopped fading out of existence. The only real problem the other visuals have caused is extreme confusion and concern on my part for the first little while followed by a weird sense that I need to keep studying all the things I see and that all of them mean something. That could just be a second subconscious element preventing me from recovering 100%, but if I could recover maybe 40-60% I'd be perfectly happy. (EDIT: Is it just me or is there something wrong with what I said in that last sentence?)

 

[killronaldreagan]

I disagree with the statement 'stop all drugs', but it does come with good intentions.

Besides the use of Dr prescribed benzos or anti-psychotics, I agree with you rollingstoned.

Except for Benzos and antipsychotics??????? Are you sure about that one, because to me that sounds like a one way ticket to full blown psychosis.

 

[deez_nuggs]

stop all drugs. Stop All Drugs. STOP ALL DRUGS. I'm serious, not even anti-psychotics. Inform your family you are going to do this and that there will likely be some serious results of this, but you will need their support.

do this now

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

stop all drugs. Stop All Drugs. STOP ALL DRUGS. I'm serious, not even anti-psychotics. Inform your family you are going to do this and that there will likely be some serious results of this, but you will need their support. If you are no better after a month (or whatever amount of time you feel is right), anti-psychotics it is.

Seriously though, I sometimes take around 7.4 mg of d-amphetamine spread throughout 24 hours, and it can fuck with my mind. Don't be suprised you have still HPPD until you at least STAY clean and let your brain attempt to self-repair. And don't fucking tell yourself it's incurable. That's lame and ensures you think it's incurable. Props with the natural foods and excercise though, most people don't realize how serious that is to the repairing process and your health in general. Good luck!

Do this. Good luck.

I've seen visual static like nopipesdfw described with the pixelations, trails, patterns, fog, snow, static, etc. but I don't think that's HPPD. I stopped seeing this when I stopped using psychedelics, even pot and I started getting on a better sleep cycle.