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Recovery The 2024 Recovery Thread

yo yo I'm back from a random little holiday. Was nice. I'm so over inner-city living..One day I'd love to move somewhere a bit more roomy and quiet. Anyway. I feel refreshed but also pretty damn knackered! Hope you guys are doing well :)
 
thatmf said:
yo yo I'm back from a random little holiday. Was nice. I'm so over inner-city living..One day I'd love to move somewhere a bit more roomy and quiet. Anyway. I feel refreshed but also pretty damn knackered! Hope you guys are doing well :)
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Hey, what's up man, I am not trying to be funny but what does 'knackered ' mean?
I am unfamiliar with Aussie slang.
 
I haven't smoked weed for almost two weeks. And haven't vaped/cig for over a month. Meth and crack, coming up on two years. But I've been drinking almost daily..

Alcohol, of all the substances I've used , has me making the worst decisions. It fills the time, and slows down my thoughts to put me more in the moment, but gleeful and stupid is a recipe for disaster..
 
Madness said:
I haven't smoked weed for almost two weeks. And haven't vaped/cig for over a month. Meth and crack, coming up on two years. But I've been drinking almost daily..

Alcohol, of all the substances I've used , has me making the worst decisions. It fills the time, and slows down my thoughts to put me more in the moment, but gleeful and stupid is a recipe for disaster..
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Well it is better than angry and violent( which is common among heavy drinkers, no lol)
 
True. I would sometimes get angry when I was in my early twenties and had to live in close proximity to people that annoyed me. Sometimes I'd do something physically uncalled for too like if someone tried to teach me how to play flip-cup when I was already confident in my ability..

But these days it's yes more harmless.. mostly just spending money on things I don't need and wasting time.
 
Madness said:
True. I would sometimes get angry when I was in my early twenties and had to live in close proximity to people that annoyed me. Sometimes I'd do something physically uncalled for too like if someone tried to teach me how to play flip-cup when I was already confident in my ability..

But these days it's yes more harmless.. mostly just spending money on things I don't need and wasting time.
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Unfortunately many of us who have or had addictions need something to fill that void. I need nicotine
 
Yeah I relate.

Nicotine is a great / horrible one depending on how you look at it. It's so convenient and the buzz is just noticable enough to make things a bit brighter, minimal if no come down, but the dependance and compulsion is extremely difficult to overcome. One of the hardest if not the hardest.
 
thatmf said:
yo yo I'm back from a random little holiday. Was nice. I'm so over inner-city living..One day I'd love to move somewhere a bit more roomy and quiet. Anyway. I feel refreshed but also pretty damn knackered! Hope you guys are doing well :)
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It's so good to hear from you and to hear your smile and I really like that good positive energy !!!!

You always sound like you stay really busy, but that is really great. ;):)🐝

Thanks so much for your smiles. That's Nice !! But really again, Thank You always for that energy !

So I got re-energized today with a smile. Yeah, good to hear you again !!! hey you @thatmf 😁

I hope that your studies don't take all of your energy but it really does help in the long run.

It's going to be awesome ! Take Care. Stay so Nice. :cool:

☀️k
 
Hell yeah let's enjoy the weather amiright
 
Today is holiday in my country and a sunny cold day. Ritalin is helping me to do tasks. Planning how to concil the master (the flood here postpone the academic activities until June 15th), with the studies for an exam to get a job in August, at the same time I study and build my professional portfolio as a (main profession, too specific) and enrich my writer's portifolio (second profession).
Trying to not take a step bigger than my leg, so the portfolio is the reward for concluding at least the masters tasks.
 
Been clean off heroin or any opiods since the 16th of May.

currently going throw PAWS. I have extremely insomnia issues plus I thoguth I have no heroin cravings but I had a nightmare that I was Injecting (very unusual cuz I am afraid of Needles and I just smoked it)

Most symptoms are gone like goosebumps, no sweats. My problems are that I am super lethargic during the day like I have no life in me. Weirdly if I take 0.5mg xanax I feel normal. Weed also dose the same trick, but also makes me high and I need to study.

Last 10 days I took gerodorm for sleep and last 4 days I took 0.5mg xanax x 2 times a day plus 1-2mg xanax before sleep.

I would want to be able to smoke weed and try sleep like that, but in my current situation I might not be able to smoke every night.

in case I can't smoke to sleep, could I take trazodone instead of xanax before sleep?( what should I expect from it? I got it not from a doctor)
 
Checking in

It’s June 2. Haven’t used since probably the 23rd and that was a single lapse. Before that idk. Can’t have been more than a week tho. I think around the fourteenth.

The days go by slow. Doing work. Driving around. Trying to figure something out. I try to offer some of my experience to people on here. I fight the impulse to buy dope. I see people keeled over in the streets nodding into their cellphones or handbags. In some ways I’m jealous of them but I remember that blue lighter who died a few weeks ago and I try not to relapse however bad I might want to. And I want to.

So the days run away and the bills pile up and I don’t know how to cope with anything except by making more money and praying to god I catch a break. The mischievous elves have been nice lately and no tricks have been played on me. I kept thinking about going to na but I really just wanted someone to offer me dope.

I’m rotting in my bedroom. Trash piling up. I know I need to clean but I need trash cans and paper towels and I just don’t have it in me right now. It does need to be done tho. Right now I’m going to focus on taking a shower. I’ll get dressed and go to work. I’m going to be optimistic that somehow some way things work out. That everything will be okay. That I’ll make some money and find a good job and that I’ll be able to marry my love.

I feel so fucking poor and embarrassed of where I’m at and I’ve expressed so much contempt for matrimony based on my past experience but I really do want to marry her at least so she knows how much she means to me. I love her with all of my heart.

I sent her a handwritten poem the other day. She should get it in the mail tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I kind of decorated the outside of the letter. I hope it goes well.

Hoping that everything works out and we all turn out okay.
 
bunny22 said:
in case I can't smoke to sleep, could I take trazodone instead of xanax before sleep?
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If I had to pick Xanax or trazodone to help with PAWS I'd definitely pick trazodone.

Does it help? Or have you not tried.

If Xanax and weed help, they both can be sedating especially Xanax, in my experience. However they are both probably more "pleasurable" than trazodone.

That is pretty much why I say trazodone. It's far less likely to keep you dependant, again, in my experience.

helpingout said:
Checking in

It’s June 2. Haven’t used since probably the 23rd and that was a single lapse. Before that idk. Can’t have been more than a week tho. I think around the fourteenth.

The days go by slow. Doing work. Driving around. Trying to figure something out. I try to offer some of my experience to people on here. I fight the impulse to buy dope. I see people keeled over in the streets nodding into their cellphones or handbags. In some ways I’m jealous of them but I remember that blue lighter who died a few weeks ago and I try not to relapse however bad I might want to. And I want to.

So the days run away and the bills pile up and I don’t know how to cope with anything except by making more money and praying to god I catch a break. The mischievous elves have been nice lately and no tricks have been played on me. I kept thinking about going to na but I really just wanted someone to offer me dope.

I’m rotting in my bedroom. Trash piling up. I know I need to clean but I need trash cans and paper towels and I just don’t have it in me right now. It does need to be done tho. Right now I’m going to focus on taking a shower. I’ll get dressed and go to work. I’m going to be optimistic that somehow some way things work out. That everything will be okay. That I’ll make some money and find a good job and that I’ll be able to marry my love.

I feel so fucking poor and embarrassed of where I’m at and I’ve expressed so much contempt for matrimony based on my past experience but I really do want to marry her at least so she knows how much she means to me. I love her with all of my heart.

I sent her a handwritten poem the other day. She should get it in the mail tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I kind of decorated the outside of the letter. I hope it goes well.

Hoping that everything works out and we all turn out okay.
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♥️

Love to hear that you have someone to keep you motivated to move forward.

Just do be mindful that you ultimately want to be your own "anchor". Myself and my girlfriend literally just talked about this a couple days ago. I was saying how she swooped me off the street and out of public housing (really), and has supported me so incredibly much that sometimes when she leaves the house for a period of times, while I don't relapse on hard drugs, I will drink a lot more than I would for a casual Sunday or NFL game with her

While that may not be the exact case for you, I'd just say I think it's very important to have self motivation to stay sober as well. Not to say you don't, I don't know if you do or not, but I think it's a very important point to make
 
Madness said:
If I had to pick Xanax or trazodone to help with PAWS I'd definitely pick trazodone.

Does it help? Or have you not tried.

If Xanax and weed help, they both can be sedating especially Xanax, in my experience. However they are both probably more "pleasurable" than trazodone.

That is pretty much why I say trazodone. It's far less likely to keep you dependant, again, in my experience.



♥️

Love to hear that you have someone to keep you motivated to move forward.

Just do be mindful that you ultimately want to be your own "anchor". Myself and my girlfriend literally just talked about this a couple days ago. I was saying how she swooped me off the street and out of public housing (really), and has supported me so incredibly much that sometimes when she leaves the house for a period of times, while I don't relapse on hard drugs, I will drink a lot more than I would for a casual Sunday or NFL game with her

While that may not be the exact case for you, I'd just say I think it's very important to have self motivation to stay sober as well. Not to say you don't, I don't know if you do or not, but I think it's a very important point to make
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I was thinking of starting cognitive behavioural therapy. I have been on drugs for more than half of my life. When I was quitting heroin I also wanted to quit weed as well but I have the sleep issues + a lot of other issues I ignored. Weed helps a lot with them, or benzos do the same but without the high. I choose to smoke weed whenever I can as I don't have to worry about the dependency on benzos.

But for sure things are wrong with me and I would like to be fully clean.( I just have to drop the weed and cigarettes. It sounds so funny considering all the hard drugs I have been on) but yeah, that's my goal.

Any recommendations would be appreciated
 
For hard drugs I had to purge my contacts and find new ones. Also physically move locations.

For nicotine it took a lot of tries. And sometimes I still bum a smoke for a dollar. It is the hardest and I wish I had good advice on it.

For weed, I try to plan a big goal or fantasize about how I want my life to be. Something that requires sharp critical thinking and working memory skills to achieve.
 
June 9. Friday I relapsed and went to a party. Now recovering and moving on to not use. At least I controlled and left whe. The psychosis started.
A little worried about my future in university and the floods. Mom asked when I was going to visit her. I want to and I'll find a way to go and get money, however the idea of being in a transition phase without extra money to travel.
Thinking about leave my house to work on my master's degree and the government exam I'll take (my last hope). So, there is no triggers. Need to talk more to my friends of the city and get friends.
I write down how I'm feeling For therapy tomorrow.
As I saw people Friday and Saturday I'm a little pensive about human nature.
 
Don't trust people who are a bad influence or who are who are sketchy. Human nature is not good, a lot of times. Deeply troubled people, tend spread their bad habits and bring others down. Or worse. Always be polite and cordial but watch and keep track of what people do and say. I trust no one completely.
 
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