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Telling Neurologist I Overdosed...

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yteek

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 13, 2011
Messages
633
Recently, my parents found me unconscious as a result of me abusing my medication, that being Soma, and they called 911. In all honesty, I make use of my prescribed medications a handful of times in a month, though it is not white and black, I would not label myself as an addict, nor would my therapist. I take my drugs, rid the contents of the bottles, and make on with my days, not a thought of compulsion in mind in the mean time, perhaps once the thought of a refill comes in mind, of course I can't but help but play the field.

Now it is time that i have to come clean to my neurologist, who has been one of the best doctors I've seen in a life time, respects my intelligence, is compassionate and sees me as a true equal in this collaborative effort.

For me it is obvious, I ruined this relationship beyond repair with this. There is no lying, it is in the computer system of the hospital. I have some extremely complicated and not quite typical neurological conditions and sadly the drugs that can be most effective happen to also have the bonus of a risk for abuse and dependence. I stay pretty much locked in my house, no love, no life, it is pitiful and I result to these endeavors as an escape.

Now I see myself as nothing more then a liability, which I obviously am. Hoping my honesty and sincerity could be a saving grace, but I am doubtful.

Though I am not optimistic, I'm hoping to find some support in response and I look forward to those opinions.
 
yteek, I think that the trauma of what happened is coloring your perception right now. First, let me say how happy I am that your parents found you and got you the medical help you needed. I am thankful that you survived, my friend. But as to your relationship with your doctor, I do not believe it will be ruined by any means if you continue to be honest and collaborative. That doctor sounds like one in a million to me and I would go into the appointment expressing everything you have said here--your remorse, your gratitude for the trust and mutual respect and your fear that this incident will jeopardize that. In my experience truly thoughtful people (and this doctor sounds like one) are capable of embracing a persons weaknesses without defining them by those weaknesses. You are NOT just a liability, you are a person with struggles and those struggles manifested in an OD. Continue to focus on the struggles and on ways to manage them. I believe that your honesty, intelligence and sincere remorse will carry much more weight than you are imagining now.

Keep us posted on what happens. ((<3))

P.S. Good to see your name here again!
 
Yteek- you haven't ruined the relationship with your neurologist. I've found honesty goes a long way with doctors. You're on some pretty heavy medications with very real addictive potentials...you are also dealing with a valid medical issue both of which add stress to your life. Couple that with staying in the house and being restricted from living your life the way you want to, what you did is understandable.

I having an honest discussion with your neurologist is in your best interest. You guys can then examine and possible modify your treatment plan. I do think you need to change your thought process as you are not a liability and this type of thinking is soul crushing and cancerous and only diminishes the quality of your life. please keep us updated.
 
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