Tell me where am I at right now?

[bratoyoutds]

So I met this girl a few months back and we have hung out occasionally generally going to concerts, getting drunk and having sex from the first night we met.
I like hanging out with her, but I don't see this as a "relationship" thus have been aiming to keep things casual - more friends with benefits.

Fast forward to a couple weeks back she comes over to my place for drinks, talking and fooling around. She stays the night which is not unusual. And lets just say she was particularly satisfied that night. In the morning, I have plans to meet a friend around noon so at about 10:30 or so I tell her I have to get going with my day and I can tell right away she is not too happy that I'm trying to make moves. I don't rush her out or anything, but when she is leaving instead of the usual hug ritual we had done for hello / goodbye's, she goes to kiss me on the lips. At this point my thinking is that I don't want to set a precedent or lead her or something so I say something along the lines "maybe it would be best if we just do the usual hug goodbye". She is very put off and leaves very annoyed.

I end up texting her later something like "sorry about earlier I just wanted to be honest with you im not looking for a relationship." she says "its cool im not looking for a relationship either I just don't want to be treated like your fuck buddy no big deal".

Since then, she texted me one evening to say she was at work near where I live. When I ask her if she wants to come over after she says she has to go home, school in the morning...And then tonight when I invite her over, it seems like she is playing games: I ask her if she wants to come over she responds with "dont think i can class in the morning" ..... "why, are you doing something fun" and then when I respond with yeah Ive got some nice wine, shes like "but its soooo far" (it is, ~50 min)

I should say that a couple days ago she did invite me via facebook to some music event shes putting on this weekend so I was considering checking that out.

Was I looking into her kiss goodbye too much? Should have I just done it anyway?
Ideally I would like to keep our casual "drinks, concerts and sex" going. Is that just wishful thinking?
Or is she playing games with me right now to make it seem like she's not looking for a relationship?

 

[Benwise]

Sounds like she took offense to the kiss thing, and considering she used the term fuck buddy (which, I could be wrong, most likely am) has a different connotation to women then it does guys

 

[omnipresenthuman]

Explain how having sex with one person over a long period of time is supposed to be casual?

This is your own fault dude - you really took exception to kissing a girl goodbye that you're having sex with on the regular?? What the fuck did you expect, for her to be totally cool with that?

It sounds like you're the one playing games man..you should've just kissed her. If you were going to break it off eventually anyway, then she's doing you a favor by ignoring you...

 

[llama112]

This is your own fault dude - you really took exception to kissing a girl goodbye that you're having sex with on the regular?? What the fuck did you expect, for her to be totally cool with that?

Yeah I've got to agree with you on this one.

 

[anniegram]

As a woman, I would do the same thing. If someone's willing to have sex with me but won't kiss me on the mouth, I'm out. This isn't pretty woman and I'm not Julia Roberts.

 

[pofacedhoe]

As a woman, I would do the same thing. If someone's willing to have sex with me but won't kiss me on the mouth, I'm out. This isn't pretty woman and I'm not Julia Roberts.

its pure disrespect. i can pump your vag but kissing you is not cool? WTF!

 

[BlueSaffron]

Just going to echo what everyone else is saying - that was really disrespectful and rude. If I were her I'd be done with you. A kiss isn't a marriage proposal ffs.

eta: you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you just fucked a few times, or just occasionally, then yes, that's one thing. But if you're doing it on the regular, and if you're any type of decent human being, she's going to probably start feeling some affection for you. Affection - that doesn't necessarily love or wanting a relationship or anything along those lines, not at all - But she might start giving a fuck whether you get hit by a bus or not when you leave. If you can't handle that simple, small level of affection after fucking someone for months, then I don't think you should do "fuck buddies" at all, and just stick with one night stands, cos they sound more your speed.

 

[skittlesxo]

Explain how having sex with one person over a long period of time is supposed to be casual?

This is your own fault dude - you really took exception to kissing a girl goodbye that you're having sex with on the regular?? What the fuck did you expect, for her to be totally cool with that?

It sounds like you're the one playing games man..you should've just kissed her. If you were going to break it off eventually anyway, then she's doing you a favor by ignoring you...

This ^

 

[h3lp]

Honestly if this where me I wouldn't be to concerned with it. If you hit her up chances ares he will be around again. Just stick to your daily routine and take it from there. I'd keep my options open frankly but I have a stone heart when it comes to this kind of stuff. Girls are fickle the end.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Lol you screwed up. She's not a hooker or some shit.

 

[llama112]

Was I looking into her kiss goodbye too much? Should have I just done it anyway?

Yes, you were. You should have done it anyway.

Ideally I would like to keep our casual "drinks, concerts and sex" going. Is that just wishful thinking?

I'm sure you can do it for some time, as long as she's up for it. That being said, what's so bad about including kissing? Just be honest with each other and it should be fine.

Or is she playing games with me right now to make it seem like she's not looking for a relationship?

It's possible she's playing games but it's possible she isn't as well. I don't know her so it's hard to judge.

 

[purplefirefly]

If this relationship is so casual then why are you involved in such complicated and emotional thinking? If it was so casual then you wouldn't be so concerned if she was "playing games" or not. It sounds like you only want it to be casual if you are calling the shots. You will fuck her but you won't kiss her goodbye? I'm assuming you kiss while you're getting busy, so what's the difference?