sadmachine
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2022
- Messages
- 63
I indulge in weed for 2-3 week stints once every 3-6 months. Have done for 15+ years.
Since a traumatic event in 2017 I have often suffered from health anxiety, however I've gotten really good at controlling it in the past 2-3 years. One problem I do get is I become convinced something is wrong whenever I smoke any amount of weed. I start checking my heart rate and blood pressure and feel horribly scared. It always lasts 15-30 minutes then im all good, sometimes if I resmoke in the day it can happen but usually its only the first time. If I go to the gym beforehand I can skip it most of the time too, or if I happen to be on a long acting benzo. There have been some strains that this doesn't happen on but it's not the ones you would think and my strain range is highly limited.
I had a very intense LSD trip yesterday and during the absolute peak loss of rationality I just randomly had the most abrupt sudden clarity and thought "I scare myself on purpose when I smoke weed, weed is harmless, it's my subconscious fighting back because I feel guilty about smoking weed"
I remembered it somehow, and now when I smoked today and those feelings of terror came I just said out loud what I wrote above and tried to convince myself to stop getting panic from weed. It was a bit strange and out of the blue I know, but I have this gut feeling that it might really work. Any discussion about health anxiety is cool.
Since a traumatic event in 2017 I have often suffered from health anxiety, however I've gotten really good at controlling it in the past 2-3 years. One problem I do get is I become convinced something is wrong whenever I smoke any amount of weed. I start checking my heart rate and blood pressure and feel horribly scared. It always lasts 15-30 minutes then im all good, sometimes if I resmoke in the day it can happen but usually its only the first time. If I go to the gym beforehand I can skip it most of the time too, or if I happen to be on a long acting benzo. There have been some strains that this doesn't happen on but it's not the ones you would think and my strain range is highly limited.
I had a very intense LSD trip yesterday and during the absolute peak loss of rationality I just randomly had the most abrupt sudden clarity and thought "I scare myself on purpose when I smoke weed, weed is harmless, it's my subconscious fighting back because I feel guilty about smoking weed"
I remembered it somehow, and now when I smoked today and those feelings of terror came I just said out loud what I wrote above and tried to convince myself to stop getting panic from weed. It was a bit strange and out of the blue I know, but I have this gut feeling that it might really work. Any discussion about health anxiety is cool.
