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Suspicions of cheating, sorta, how would you handle this?

oatmeal cookie

oatmeal cookie

Bluelighter
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Aug 6, 2009
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Hey all I'm a 26/m who's been living with my gf for the past 2 years...a little background first, ill keep it short...

almost 1 year to the date, Jan 29 of last year I suddenly lost my young father at a young age to a heart attack... a year before that i accredit her as to being the main reason i was able to quit opiates....so she's been there for me is what I'm getting at... i couldn't have done the past 2 years without her...

but last night, i just so happened to look for my best friends cell number in her phone so i didn't have to get up to get mine, and low and behold... i couldn't find his name in the names in the text conversations, like the whole thread for him and her had been deleted...

but they talk all the time, almost every day...why would it be deleted, the whole conversation, not just some texts...no one else was deleted, so she wasn't opening memory, i have no birthday or celebrations coming up, so it wasn't that...i can't be getting one pulled on be by her and my best friend can i?

What do you think? Any insight will be appreciated,
Thanks
 
I don't see enough evidence there to be too suspicious. Making a big deal out of that may backfire. Perhaps be straight forward and casually ask your lady why her text communications with your best friend were completely deleted. I believe with proper finesse and frankness, you may gain the truth or at least a clearer impression.


Might they be texting outside the phone's default messaging function? If they have Android, Droid or iPhones, perhaps they are using a separate texting app such WhatsApp or Viber. It may be innocent as that.


If you prefer to be less upfront, perhaps ask each of them separately when was last they chatted. Then silently observe their actions during the days after you ask. If there is anything inappropriate taking place, you question will likely trigger discomfort.


By the way, if you are going to the extent of checking her phone, you may as well check the call record as well. From the little info you have provided, I truly do not see a huge cause for concern.
 
One of them in the text convo could have said something about one of your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, something about you that irritated one of them, a minor or medium complaint, etc. and she may have deleted it just to protect your feelings. Or it could even have been about a surprise for you. Or he could have said something mildly flirtatious but with no intention of doing anything further. I'm not saying your suspicions aren't true (although I hope they aren't) but these are some possible explanations. Tread lightly.
 
Ive accidently deleted a whole conversation thread before by mistake. Do you have any other reasons to be suspicious? Or is it just this one incident? If this is the only thing I think you are jumping to some huge conclusions.
 
Yeah there are a lot of reasons why that conversation could have been deleted.. If she has never given you a reason to be suspicious of her in the past, then you shouldn't assume the worst now.

Also, if you bring it up to her that you were looking through her phone.. no matter the reason you give.. it's going to be bad and she will not trust you.

You can bring it up to your friend and see what he says. Otherwise, just let it go and if something happens again in the future to make you suspicious, then cross that bridge when you come to it. As of right now it doesn't sound like anything worth getting upset or paranoid about.
 
gut instinct is always what i go on BUT if you kick off you have no proof and you were invading her privacy. it makes you look like an ass

i would hold this idea in mind and watch their body language when you are all next together. there might be some other explanation but it seems off. i never delete text conversations unless i'm running out of space in my phone cos sometimes its useful to go back.

might be nothing but i would keep an eye out for some real evidence other than guesswork
 
Like others have said, maybe they are using a different way to text? I mean, sometimes I'll be "texting" my boyfriend but we use WhatsApp. I am not really into apps but I know there is TextFree, BBM, that iPhone chat thingy, and there has to be more.

Or maybe the message just deleted? Sometimes I'll accidentally delete messages.

I really don't think it's enough to be suspicious though
<3
 
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