• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Struggling to read

Sweet P

Sweet P

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2009
Messages
5,243
Wasn't sure where to post this, but I figured this might be a good place. Over the last couple of years I've really been struggling to read. I know how to read, but I just can't seem to absorb the information I'm reading and make any sense out of it. I'll read a page from a book and then have no idea what I just read!

I'm wondering if it could be drug related... I'm a recovering methamphetamine addict (still using, but only small quantities) and I'm on quite a large dose of benzos and citalopram. Does anybody else have the same problem, or able to shed some light on this problem? It's really frustrating me. I just don't seem to have the mental stamina to read anything more than a paragraph or two.
 
I've read (and found since i'm on venlafaxine) that ssri and benzos do fuck all for your short term memory. I have the same problem reading - I'l read a few pages then find myself staring at the page struggling to recall what I've read, and having to start all over again. Sometimes I've read the same page ten times before it made sense.

Morning time is worst for this - I've asked people simple questions, and they'll have told me the answer some minutes before. I think its just memory fog. Anti depressants are well known for it, and benzos (in my case diaz) really fuck up my short term memory.

I think it clears slowly after you're off the drugs.
 
IME, since I have quit drugs I am very scattered. It's super hard for me to focus, which leads to diminished reading comprehension. If I read a book, I might read a chapter and realize I was daydreaming or thinking about something else the whole time.

What helps is to read a small bit of writing, and then tell yourself what you have just read. That way, you mind is actively retaining what you have read and you can move on from there. Plus, if you were not focusing, you can re-read that small amount without much time wasted. After a while, gradually start to lengthen the amount you read before you go over it in your mind.

Hope that helps.

Good luck Sweet P!
 
I abused pharmaceutical amphetamines on and off for only a year or so, and just now, about two years later, I am able to read and absorb material in class again. Those strong stimulants just take it out of you.
 
Thanks, everyone. Writing is something I also struggle with... just finding the motivation, and trying to fit all the words together. Hence why I never write long posts on Bluelight! I guess practice will help, so I'll try reading or writing a little bit each day and see if it improves over time.
 
I'm soo having the same problem man, it has been goin on for years now and its getting a bit worse lately.
Another big problem im experincing is word recalling.
I'm a multilingual person, i was brought up learning italian, swedish and a school level english, then came the french school level english and i didnt have a problem recalling what i learned in everyday life.
Then at the age of 14 I along with my dad and his fiance moved to geneva/switzerland(french speaking) where i started studying in an american school and thats pretty much how i learned all my englishand french since i would face mostly english and a bit less french everyday. Though as soon as i got there i started to have tremendous...actually insane problems with my family and fitting in this environment which in my circumstance was incredibly uncomfortable.
I didn't have almost any italian friends there and i rarely spoke to my fam since due to such a difficult relationship so as a concequence my italian got a bit weaker.
The stress of those years got me hooked up on meth and i would fequently also drink and smoke weed.
Some sort of psychosis began in those years which i never realized and confused it with a simple depression.
It's been 4 years since i got back in my homeland and boy was it hard to 'change-back' again. Some serios linguistic difficulties and confusions already started bak then. I stopped taking meth 3 years ago but i would still smoke weed and get drunk often...eventually i layed down on those as well before a yearlong nervous brakedown that got me fucking addicted on benzos. I was plain abusing and ended up taking up to 30mg of klonopin a day due to my tollerance plus i would have taken any drug that i came across due to my selfdestructive habbit.

Now it has been almost a year since i havent taken anything, only lsd and got drunk once in a while. But the problem is still there and its getting worse as im sober.
I basically cannot have a conversation in french or swedish anymore and even english and my mother tongue are getting weaker.
Constructing a neat elaborate conversation is so hard sometimes. Something's fucked up with my memory,concentration,creativity and immagination.
 
Sweet P said:
Wasn't sure where to post this, but I figured this might be a good place. Over the last couple of years I've really been struggling to read. I know how to read, but I just can't seem to absorb the information I'm reading and make any sense out of it. I'll read a page from a book and then have no idea what I just read!
Click to expand...

i have the exact same problem. i dont know if its some sort of ADD or what, my doctor cant seem to help me either.

the worst part is this goes away when im high. not on weed, on hard drugs.

maybe im chemically imbalanced. i wish i could find out what causes this
 
maybe its a dopamine deficiency? I remember 6 months after my last toke of meth, I couldn't focus on anything worth shit. Let alone read. Now i'm on a ton of supplements which include l-dopa. I've noticed a huge difference after taking each and every one of my supplements but none have had such a profound effect as l-dopa.
 
I used to not be able to read.

After abusing shitty E (probably more meth than anything) my eyes would just jump around the page when I tried to read. Two things helped me recover my reading abilities.

- Not doing shitty E (or E at all) any more
- Practicing reading

I am a known book worm, and go through at least a book a week.

Get on that reading!! It's one of the best things in life. :)
 
Could it be that you can only read and absorb things that you find interesting? If it's something you're not interested in you read the words but don't pay attention. Just like someone talking to you about something you're disinterested in, you can tend to shut off but you still hear them, but you're not listening anymore.

I have tended to have this problem and i personally for myself put it down to disinterest.
 
Sweet P, I'm a recovering meth and adderall abuser. That happened to me while using and for about 6 months post using. My short term memory was also affected in other ways (can't remember peoples names, forgetful, and math abilities dropped as well). They do come back slowly, but even now almost a year later it's still not 100%.

I'd tell you to try to avoid meth if possible, but I know how strong the stuff can be. I didn't quit because I wanted to, only becaus I couldn't get the stuff anymore!

Good luck!

Evolved
 
I used to read EVERYTHING. All of the time. I love it.
I haven't been able to finish a book since I started meds for bipolar (lithium, risperdal and celexa at the time). The farthest I've gotten is 3/4 of a book but I usually can't make it past maybe 5 pages. I either get tired, or I just randomly lose interest in an awesome book. :(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top