d00mhammers
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2013
- Messages
- 5
Hello,
I am new to this forum. I fell in love with the psychedelic world ever since I tried it. Sadly, not many of the people I know share my views, so I decided to shared one experience that happened to me a couple of months ago, and maybe hear what people think about it, and if they had been to anything similar. I wrote this at some point near the end of my trip about I took about 1000 micrograms of lsd.
Thank you for reading.
I had a crazy trip last night. I took a shitload of acid… and then… I was in a war, with people screaming and dying around me. I didn’t have a gun cause there weren't enough for everyone, so I had to hide and crawl among corpses till I could find a gun. Then I killed and killed and killed over and over again, blood, guts, body parts everywhere. We fought bravely, but we lost, and I got caught by the enemy soldier squad. I was bound and blind folded. Suddenly, I felt, a sharp blow to the temple, then darkness.
Someone sent me flying against what I could tell from the blow I received was a concrete wall. I woke up. Tried to move my hands. I still was blindfolded and bound. I could taste the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth, and tried to lick the blood on my lips only to find that I was gagged. Suddenly, a hail of blows rained on me. Someone was slowly and methodically beating the hell out of me. Then it stopped. I heard the door close with a loud "bang". I lay there covered in blood, and my mouth was full of it. I could tell I had a few broken ribs and teeth. I was bruised all over.
I didn't know how much time passed before the door opened again, and in walked several people as far as I could tell. I received a powerful punch in the face that sent me flying, then someone dragged me by the hair outside of the room. I felt a couple of people hold me and carry me. I could hear doors open and close for a while…then I felt something wet falling on my face. I realized it was rain, and that I was carried outside. A few moments later I felt pain in my back I as I as thrown into the back of what I assumed to be a truck of some sort. How long the ride was, I couldn't tell. I thought it might be 30 minutes or so, but it might have been an hour or more. I had no way of knowing.
When the truck finally stopped, someone grabbed me by the leg and threw me into the mud. I felt a sharp pain in my leg and tried to scream but the gag was preventing me from doing so. I was forced to stand and my blindfold and gag were removed for the first time. I grunted as I looked at the soldiers before me. It was raining heavily. I was standing in the middle of a muddy courtyard and before me stood two soldiers. Slowly, another five soldiers came out of the truck and joined the two friends. They all had rifles pointing at me. I realized that they are a shooting squad. As if they read my mind, they all suddenly pointed their rifles at me. One of them, apparently the leader, looked at me with a ferocious grin and shouted something. A single thought crossed my mind… this is it. An then… the sound of thunder. I do not know what hit me first, was it the roar of seven guns as they sent me their deadly kisses, or was the fire of the explosions as the bullets left the rifles. Perhaps it the magnitude of the impact that hit me and sent me flying back, or maybe it was the stench of burnt sulfur and gunpowder. Could it be the laughter of the soldiers as they unleashed their deadly hail on me, or was it the sky above me as it shed its tears mourning the death of a lonely soldier? I guess I'll never know. And there I stood in front of a shooting squad, and shot by shot… every bullet penetrated me…I saw my life before my eyes slowly passing like an old black and white movie, I felt the numbing chill of the grave stealing the last grains of warmth in me. I was dead before my body fell into the mud with a dull "spluff", but my empty glassy eyes were staring at the cloudy gray sky above me.
But that was not all. I phased out of existence and suddenly… I was this guy who loved this girl so much I couldn't even breath without her... but I had problems with her family especially her dad. So there I was all of a sudden in their house talking to her father and arguing with him. I was asking him what he did what he did, but he was silent. Then I lost it, I couldn’t take any of the things he said earlier, so I went outside for a smoke. I stood on the porch slowly smoking my cigarette while looking at the clouds in the sky. It was dull and gray, then I had a flash back: I saw a soldier lying in the dirt with blood oozing out of his wounds on his muddy clothes. I stared into the young soldiers face… his glassy eyes stared back at me with a hungering void…but why… why… did he look… so much…like me? I shake my head and the vision was gone. Unconsciously, I put my hand on my chest where one of the bullets penetrated the soldier, and felt a tiny bit of pain… could it be… no, I shook my head and went inside closing the door behind me.
I was back in the room where I left the girl's father, except, it was different… pale and dull. I called out for the father's name but no one answered. I called out for my girlfriend's name, then called everyone else, but not a sound answered my desperate cries. By the time I reach the living room, I found two strangers sitting there. The first man was dressed all in black with a white color and a cross around his neck. His face was wrinkled and there heavy bags under his eyes. I could tell he was a priest probably in his early 60s. There was a tattered bible on the table. The second man was slightly younger, in his 50s perhaps, but his arched and hunched back made him look older. His face yellowish. It was weathered and heavily scarred, making his smile look like a wicked grin or perhaps some sort of a savage scowl. He was sitting before three laptops connected together sideways. There was a different display on each of the three screens. The very moment that though ran through my mind, the priest got up as if he noticed my presence, walked past me and whispered something in a low and shaky voice, then he proceeded to adjust something on the laptop, and a few moments later, all of the three screens displayed the same thing.
The image was blurry and I couldn't really see it from where I stood, so I decided to take a closer look. As I was walking over I had a weird feeling of discomfort I couldn’t describe. Finally, when I reached the man with the laptops and look at the screen, I saw… I saw…my life from birth to death. I also realized why I haven't seen the creepy man's hands before: he was busy with doing things and playing with my life. I stood their dumbfounded, unable to move to speak of look away. The man as playing with my life the way he wanted, changing it as he pleased, and I… I… just stood there. One moment or an eternity… I don't know how long have passed, but when I finally turned my head, the priest was back in the chair where he was sitting drinking a cup of what I assumed to be tea from the looks of it.
As I turned my head to look at the man with the laptops, a newspaper caught my eyes. There was something ominous about it but I just had to see it. I slowly walked to the low table and with trembling hands picked up the newspaper and I froze in place. On the first page was a picture of the girl I loved, her dad, and the rest of the family and they were all…dead. The head line said that they were killed in a family dispute. I felt nauseous. I dropped the newspaper and stumbled to the door. I violently opened the creaky door, hung myself over the porch and emptied the contents of my stomach. I don't know how long I lay there sobbing. I lost my life, I lost the people I love, I lost everything…
Finally, I picked up my broken self and slowly stumbled back into the house again. Halfway across the corridor from the room with the strangers, I saw the newspaper where I dropped it. I lift up my eyes for a moment and I could still see the priest sitting in the chair holding the tea up even though it seemed to be cold judging from its look. I gave the newspaper an uneasy look and felt my fingers slow reach for it. I let out a short nervous laughter. As my agitated fingers raced from page to page, I suddenly stood perfectly still. What I saw made my blood freeze, and I felt that fear slowly suffocated me. I couldn’t move or breath. Only my eyes could see, but what they saw was burned into the very essence of my miserable soul. Four simple words, "Young Man Commits Suicide". There was a picture of me bloodstained staring back at me with glassy eyes…the same glassy eyes the dead soldier look at me with… the empty void glassy eyes. I closed my eyes but those eyes were still staring at me. I started screaming and screaming but not a single sound escaped my open mouth, I screamed with every grain of pain, love, emotion, hatred, fear, humanity, sanity, and insanity, that was in me. Not a sound was heard…only emptiness and darkness… emptiness and darkness…. Swallowed me…
I woke up today. I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom. I had a weird taste in my mouth, what could it be? It tasted almost like….blood? I looked at myself in the mirror. There was blood on my face, and blood on my lips. I spat into the sink. More blood. I looked at my hands. Covered in blood? What happened? Where am I? Is this a dream… or reality? Is this sanity… or insanity? What if I am beyond sanity? Unsane… but not insane? Unsane… what could that be? Millions and billions of thoughts and ideas are rushing through my mind that I cannot explain. What happened… I don't remember it's all mixed up. I try to concentrate. I sit on my desk, and turn on my laptop. Why is it taking forever to turn on? It's finally on. I… I.. must right something, this can't be happening. I open Microsoft Word, and my trembling fingers start to type, "I had a crazy trip last night. I took a shitload of acid… and then…". I take a breath, I try convince myself it's not real. But why…why… is there blood on my hands? Why… there is no pulse…why am I…dead?
As I am writing all of this, I cannot help but wonder, it is just all in my head? Or could it be that in the state of sub-consciousness that I was in, I was able to reconnect with collective unconsciousness, and relive the life of someone in the past or perhaps the future? Was the person who I saw me or someone else? Could this be a projection of a possibility in my future? Or maybe it is a possible past that I managed to avoid? I do not know. Have I broken the boundaries of sanity and reality? I cannot tell. What am I now, insane… or unsane? I do not know what happened to me this day, but life will never be the same again.
Thank you
I am new to this forum. I fell in love with the psychedelic world ever since I tried it. Sadly, not many of the people I know share my views, so I decided to shared one experience that happened to me a couple of months ago, and maybe hear what people think about it, and if they had been to anything similar. I wrote this at some point near the end of my trip about I took about 1000 micrograms of lsd.
Thank you for reading.
I had a crazy trip last night. I took a shitload of acid… and then… I was in a war, with people screaming and dying around me. I didn’t have a gun cause there weren't enough for everyone, so I had to hide and crawl among corpses till I could find a gun. Then I killed and killed and killed over and over again, blood, guts, body parts everywhere. We fought bravely, but we lost, and I got caught by the enemy soldier squad. I was bound and blind folded. Suddenly, I felt, a sharp blow to the temple, then darkness.
Someone sent me flying against what I could tell from the blow I received was a concrete wall. I woke up. Tried to move my hands. I still was blindfolded and bound. I could taste the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth, and tried to lick the blood on my lips only to find that I was gagged. Suddenly, a hail of blows rained on me. Someone was slowly and methodically beating the hell out of me. Then it stopped. I heard the door close with a loud "bang". I lay there covered in blood, and my mouth was full of it. I could tell I had a few broken ribs and teeth. I was bruised all over.
I didn't know how much time passed before the door opened again, and in walked several people as far as I could tell. I received a powerful punch in the face that sent me flying, then someone dragged me by the hair outside of the room. I felt a couple of people hold me and carry me. I could hear doors open and close for a while…then I felt something wet falling on my face. I realized it was rain, and that I was carried outside. A few moments later I felt pain in my back I as I as thrown into the back of what I assumed to be a truck of some sort. How long the ride was, I couldn't tell. I thought it might be 30 minutes or so, but it might have been an hour or more. I had no way of knowing.
When the truck finally stopped, someone grabbed me by the leg and threw me into the mud. I felt a sharp pain in my leg and tried to scream but the gag was preventing me from doing so. I was forced to stand and my blindfold and gag were removed for the first time. I grunted as I looked at the soldiers before me. It was raining heavily. I was standing in the middle of a muddy courtyard and before me stood two soldiers. Slowly, another five soldiers came out of the truck and joined the two friends. They all had rifles pointing at me. I realized that they are a shooting squad. As if they read my mind, they all suddenly pointed their rifles at me. One of them, apparently the leader, looked at me with a ferocious grin and shouted something. A single thought crossed my mind… this is it. An then… the sound of thunder. I do not know what hit me first, was it the roar of seven guns as they sent me their deadly kisses, or was the fire of the explosions as the bullets left the rifles. Perhaps it the magnitude of the impact that hit me and sent me flying back, or maybe it was the stench of burnt sulfur and gunpowder. Could it be the laughter of the soldiers as they unleashed their deadly hail on me, or was it the sky above me as it shed its tears mourning the death of a lonely soldier? I guess I'll never know. And there I stood in front of a shooting squad, and shot by shot… every bullet penetrated me…I saw my life before my eyes slowly passing like an old black and white movie, I felt the numbing chill of the grave stealing the last grains of warmth in me. I was dead before my body fell into the mud with a dull "spluff", but my empty glassy eyes were staring at the cloudy gray sky above me.
But that was not all. I phased out of existence and suddenly… I was this guy who loved this girl so much I couldn't even breath without her... but I had problems with her family especially her dad. So there I was all of a sudden in their house talking to her father and arguing with him. I was asking him what he did what he did, but he was silent. Then I lost it, I couldn’t take any of the things he said earlier, so I went outside for a smoke. I stood on the porch slowly smoking my cigarette while looking at the clouds in the sky. It was dull and gray, then I had a flash back: I saw a soldier lying in the dirt with blood oozing out of his wounds on his muddy clothes. I stared into the young soldiers face… his glassy eyes stared back at me with a hungering void…but why… why… did he look… so much…like me? I shake my head and the vision was gone. Unconsciously, I put my hand on my chest where one of the bullets penetrated the soldier, and felt a tiny bit of pain… could it be… no, I shook my head and went inside closing the door behind me.
I was back in the room where I left the girl's father, except, it was different… pale and dull. I called out for the father's name but no one answered. I called out for my girlfriend's name, then called everyone else, but not a sound answered my desperate cries. By the time I reach the living room, I found two strangers sitting there. The first man was dressed all in black with a white color and a cross around his neck. His face was wrinkled and there heavy bags under his eyes. I could tell he was a priest probably in his early 60s. There was a tattered bible on the table. The second man was slightly younger, in his 50s perhaps, but his arched and hunched back made him look older. His face yellowish. It was weathered and heavily scarred, making his smile look like a wicked grin or perhaps some sort of a savage scowl. He was sitting before three laptops connected together sideways. There was a different display on each of the three screens. The very moment that though ran through my mind, the priest got up as if he noticed my presence, walked past me and whispered something in a low and shaky voice, then he proceeded to adjust something on the laptop, and a few moments later, all of the three screens displayed the same thing.
The image was blurry and I couldn't really see it from where I stood, so I decided to take a closer look. As I was walking over I had a weird feeling of discomfort I couldn’t describe. Finally, when I reached the man with the laptops and look at the screen, I saw… I saw…my life from birth to death. I also realized why I haven't seen the creepy man's hands before: he was busy with doing things and playing with my life. I stood their dumbfounded, unable to move to speak of look away. The man as playing with my life the way he wanted, changing it as he pleased, and I… I… just stood there. One moment or an eternity… I don't know how long have passed, but when I finally turned my head, the priest was back in the chair where he was sitting drinking a cup of what I assumed to be tea from the looks of it.
As I turned my head to look at the man with the laptops, a newspaper caught my eyes. There was something ominous about it but I just had to see it. I slowly walked to the low table and with trembling hands picked up the newspaper and I froze in place. On the first page was a picture of the girl I loved, her dad, and the rest of the family and they were all…dead. The head line said that they were killed in a family dispute. I felt nauseous. I dropped the newspaper and stumbled to the door. I violently opened the creaky door, hung myself over the porch and emptied the contents of my stomach. I don't know how long I lay there sobbing. I lost my life, I lost the people I love, I lost everything…
Finally, I picked up my broken self and slowly stumbled back into the house again. Halfway across the corridor from the room with the strangers, I saw the newspaper where I dropped it. I lift up my eyes for a moment and I could still see the priest sitting in the chair holding the tea up even though it seemed to be cold judging from its look. I gave the newspaper an uneasy look and felt my fingers slow reach for it. I let out a short nervous laughter. As my agitated fingers raced from page to page, I suddenly stood perfectly still. What I saw made my blood freeze, and I felt that fear slowly suffocated me. I couldn’t move or breath. Only my eyes could see, but what they saw was burned into the very essence of my miserable soul. Four simple words, "Young Man Commits Suicide". There was a picture of me bloodstained staring back at me with glassy eyes…the same glassy eyes the dead soldier look at me with… the empty void glassy eyes. I closed my eyes but those eyes were still staring at me. I started screaming and screaming but not a single sound escaped my open mouth, I screamed with every grain of pain, love, emotion, hatred, fear, humanity, sanity, and insanity, that was in me. Not a sound was heard…only emptiness and darkness… emptiness and darkness…. Swallowed me…
I woke up today. I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom. I had a weird taste in my mouth, what could it be? It tasted almost like….blood? I looked at myself in the mirror. There was blood on my face, and blood on my lips. I spat into the sink. More blood. I looked at my hands. Covered in blood? What happened? Where am I? Is this a dream… or reality? Is this sanity… or insanity? What if I am beyond sanity? Unsane… but not insane? Unsane… what could that be? Millions and billions of thoughts and ideas are rushing through my mind that I cannot explain. What happened… I don't remember it's all mixed up. I try to concentrate. I sit on my desk, and turn on my laptop. Why is it taking forever to turn on? It's finally on. I… I.. must right something, this can't be happening. I open Microsoft Word, and my trembling fingers start to type, "I had a crazy trip last night. I took a shitload of acid… and then…". I take a breath, I try convince myself it's not real. But why…why… is there blood on my hands? Why… there is no pulse…why am I…dead?
As I am writing all of this, I cannot help but wonder, it is just all in my head? Or could it be that in the state of sub-consciousness that I was in, I was able to reconnect with collective unconsciousness, and relive the life of someone in the past or perhaps the future? Was the person who I saw me or someone else? Could this be a projection of a possibility in my future? Or maybe it is a possible past that I managed to avoid? I do not know. Have I broken the boundaries of sanity and reality? I cannot tell. What am I now, insane… or unsane? I do not know what happened to me this day, but life will never be the same again.
Thank you
