Thank you Notsoprettyinpink.
I'll be starting within two weeks from now or maybe even earlier if there becomes a bed available sooner in a rehab facility in which my treatment is started. I'll be on some kind of buprenorphine+naloxene, either the films or pills. I forgot to ask last time I visited my nurse which one they use in my town. Every ORT is started in rehab facility here which for me sounds like a good idea when compared places where they hand out buprenorphine like candies. And the best part is that whole treatment costs nothing (except taxpayers money ofc).
I too have never used street drugs or bought pills from dealers. I learned my way around the system to get multiple prescriptions for oxycontin even though we have a national prescription database which in theory should prevent that from happening and every prescription for opiates must be done digitally instead of paper prescriptions. Since we have compensated prices for drugs they didn't cost much at all.
I am "lucky" that I don't get as bad acute withdrawals as you get. My BP and HR are just slightly elevated during WDs and they are in a range that I don't feel them except when laying in bed and ear on the pillow. I get diarrhea which can be countered with normal amounts of loperamide but the RLS and akathisia are the worst symptoms. I literally can't sit even for a minute and must move my limbs all the time and keep on walking around.
After e acute phase PAWS hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't think anything else than oxycodone and how I would crush the pills and take am with a sip of water (we still get the old formula Oxycontin) and then within a minutes I would be on a land of lovely comfortable blankets hugging me with their warmth and leaving me able just live on no matter how hard time I am having. Time slows down during PAWS and I get akathisia symptoms again from time to time. It is living hell and then I relapse no matter what I have tried and this has lead me and my Dr to think that ORT would work for me until I can solve the issues driving me to use while in PAWS phase.
I hope you both can endure your PAWS better than I.
I'm so happy to hear this all, MrRoot. As I just posted on my own thread, I'm having a really rough time. It was like the "acutes's" were gone, I then felt a wave of joy that ended about 2 weeks in with MAJOR paws. I did have an opportunity to get 90, 10's from my pain management doctor last week but declined and chose the nerve block instead. I can't say I'm sorry I didn't choose the pills and that bothers me to no end.
I'm still thinking of them chronically, still have night sweats severely and it's been a month. I've been eating super healthy, taking vitamins and trying to force myself to do the things I once loved but I'm finding it to be very hard. I also wanted a new vehicle for so very long but now that I have one? It's just sitting there most days.
I never got (of all things the RLS which sounds crazy since I got every, single other thing majorly) but I feel the reasoning is because my disorder (RSD) effects the nerves and it's effected both my legs (and is a nervous system disorder which causes a multitude of symptoms....skin crawling and burning like my legs are being dipped in acid and then placed in a pit of fire to name 2....clothes and bed sheets even irritate my inflamed, red skin to the point I always have to wear dresses or skirts (which is so "not me".... I have no idea what I'm going to do living in PA when the cold weather hits).
Geez, I don't know what I'm going to do even with it now. A part of me feels that THIS time I'll be responsible with meds but I know that's not true. One warm "rush" and I'm done for. I'm also on 9 other meds that I was adamant about giving a chance to but they really do not help. Sometimes I feel like a doctor's "joy"....a "lab rat" in which they are trying to cure the incurable.
I'm sorry, as always, for the ramble. I did look into rehabs recently but the waiting list is up to a month for the ones my insurance accepts.
Back to you, your plan sounds great and I'm very, very happy for you
. Besides the replacement med treatment you will receive, it may also help you very much to be in a place where you can talk about your past tragedies. I wish for that as well but I don't feel that anyone can convince me as for why my brother killed my father or as for why I had to watch my mom die a slow, tragic death. Plus the fact I've only ever been in extremely abusive relationships. As for that, I akways feel I can "fix" people yet I can't "fix" myself.
Do you know how long your stay will be? I hope you also consider the outpatient intensive therapy. It took my nephew to move away and remain in a sort of "half way" house to remain clean from pills, "h" and just about anything and everything else for the last 6 months. As for me, I have a large home to think about, now a new vehicle, 3 dogs and a cat and a son. I feel like I'm naming excuses but with all I've named, I don't feel I could focus.
As for you remaining in touch (even on here), usually that's not allowable for at least the 1st 30 days. After 7, I do know you can call people though so I hope you have family and friends where you live to at least make calls to. My nephew had me and his mom (yet little did he know we were both still using.....if she still is, I don't know....I had thought we were very close, she was like a mother figure to me since I'm more my nephews age then I am hers.....yet it seemed like when I quit she wanted nothing more to do with me).........back to my nephew, he's 30 years old and I don't think he's been sober since he was 15 but the rehab, half way house, not living in this town anymore, getting a decent job, girlfriend etc...made him a "new man". I hope so much that that's the case with you and I strongly think it will be because as I said you're a VERY strong man
I hope you still "check in" on here though
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All my love and respect goes out to you, my dear friend
Sincerely,
Bernadette (who's WEARING pink skirts and pink dresses but still hasn't succumbed to taking the pink pills and I just pray I have the strength to continue).
