Menstrualfuck
Greenlighter
I've just started taking desvenlafaxine out of recommendation from my MD. I was prescribed escitalopram or Lexapro, the only name-brand SSRI on the market currently and the most activating of the SSRIs, for my depression and anxiety. I was taking the drug for a month, approximately, and I had no effect from it whatsoever--even side effect wise. My effects from it were probably less than people get from the placebo-control groups. Since I had a problem with daytime sleepiness my doctor decided to switch me over to desvenlafaxine because of the activation.
The reason I'm taking an antidepressant right now is because I am three months out of a six month daily buprenorphine binge, of which I was obtaining on the street. Initially I took it to get off of other pain killers I had been using consistently, namely poppy pods, demerol, and morphine. I had gone through a rather nasty morphine withdrawal over a year ago, and picked up poppy pods a few months later, with other pharmaceuticals and kratom used intermittently when I would run out of pods. From research I found that buprenorphine would be easier to taper off of and get clean from. I was wrong.
Buprenorphine withdrawal was the most fucking insidious withdrawal I have ever encountered. I was in fetal position for six days straight with only a few hours of sleep to account for. Also, I was only able to eat chicken broth on the few days I could eat. A few weeks after this hell slowly retreated I tried exercise, such as running five miles every other day and some weight lifting, and a good diet regimen to get me out of the depression I was in. I also tried supplements like L-tyrosine, dl-pheylalanine, 5tp, and a multi vitamin in a form that could assimilate well in the liver. These only marginally helped.
I believe I was self medicating my anxiety problems with opiates, as I found a liking to this class of drugs when I found I could function in social situations far better and did not become catatonic around strangers. I also had an immense amount ambition in school that I had never had and could focus better in class on them.
After withdrawal I confronted something I had never felt before: clinical depression. Almost everyone can relate to depression because most people have had moments of it in their lives, but the depression that came from the post acute stage of this withdrawal was chronic and plateaued at an ineffable trough. I also felt moments of suicidality where I felt like making a noose and hanging myself in the garage. I've never felt this emotion in my life and I wanted to intervene before I got the courage to carry it out.
I recently found a psychiatrist that deals with addiction and depression and have landed on the antidepressant Pristiq. I'm not afraid of the withdrawal profile as it can only be a pimple on buprenorphine's ass in that department. Does anybody have any experience with this chemical for depression or anxiety? I'm augmenting the drug with psychotherapy and setting up to go to NA meetings before I go to an outpatient addiction medical program. I still have an impulsive urge to use opiates, but I candidly want to stay away from them for the rest of my life. I've come close to dying a few times on opiates; one time I IVed fentanyl, almost got in to a car crash, and virtually drowned taking a bath fucked up like that. I probably would have drowned if my dad hadn't found me. Buprenorphine was good for a few months, but after a while it just left me as a shell of the person I was.
I just want a chemical to get me through this hump that doesn't have the psychological addictive aspect that opiates do. Any thoughts or recommendations?
The reason I'm taking an antidepressant right now is because I am three months out of a six month daily buprenorphine binge, of which I was obtaining on the street. Initially I took it to get off of other pain killers I had been using consistently, namely poppy pods, demerol, and morphine. I had gone through a rather nasty morphine withdrawal over a year ago, and picked up poppy pods a few months later, with other pharmaceuticals and kratom used intermittently when I would run out of pods. From research I found that buprenorphine would be easier to taper off of and get clean from. I was wrong.
Buprenorphine withdrawal was the most fucking insidious withdrawal I have ever encountered. I was in fetal position for six days straight with only a few hours of sleep to account for. Also, I was only able to eat chicken broth on the few days I could eat. A few weeks after this hell slowly retreated I tried exercise, such as running five miles every other day and some weight lifting, and a good diet regimen to get me out of the depression I was in. I also tried supplements like L-tyrosine, dl-pheylalanine, 5tp, and a multi vitamin in a form that could assimilate well in the liver. These only marginally helped.
I believe I was self medicating my anxiety problems with opiates, as I found a liking to this class of drugs when I found I could function in social situations far better and did not become catatonic around strangers. I also had an immense amount ambition in school that I had never had and could focus better in class on them.
After withdrawal I confronted something I had never felt before: clinical depression. Almost everyone can relate to depression because most people have had moments of it in their lives, but the depression that came from the post acute stage of this withdrawal was chronic and plateaued at an ineffable trough. I also felt moments of suicidality where I felt like making a noose and hanging myself in the garage. I've never felt this emotion in my life and I wanted to intervene before I got the courage to carry it out.
I recently found a psychiatrist that deals with addiction and depression and have landed on the antidepressant Pristiq. I'm not afraid of the withdrawal profile as it can only be a pimple on buprenorphine's ass in that department. Does anybody have any experience with this chemical for depression or anxiety? I'm augmenting the drug with psychotherapy and setting up to go to NA meetings before I go to an outpatient addiction medical program. I still have an impulsive urge to use opiates, but I candidly want to stay away from them for the rest of my life. I've come close to dying a few times on opiates; one time I IVed fentanyl, almost got in to a car crash, and virtually drowned taking a bath fucked up like that. I probably would have drowned if my dad hadn't found me. Buprenorphine was good for a few months, but after a while it just left me as a shell of the person I was.
I just want a chemical to get me through this hump that doesn't have the psychological addictive aspect that opiates do. Any thoughts or recommendations?
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