Please stop this "speed demon" bullshit now, it ain't helping you. Have you been in AA/NA/12step brainwashing meetings? They are brainwashing you to believe that you are helpless and have no control over yourself. Thats huge bullshit. It's all up in you're head. Addiction is behavior control problem and to get rid of it you have to learn to control you're actions, behaving, thoughts and yourself. It's time to get past over this "drug victim" propaganda, it ain't helping anyone, thats why there is so much relapses, because you are taught to think that you are victim and what you can do when you are victim?
Every time you say there is this demon that want me make to do it, you give it huge power. How can you have control over things that are not in you? You can't, and every time you think that it gets more power to manifest. You have to realize that it's in you, give it love and accept it, because you can not love and accept yourself if you don't accept every part in you.
There are lots of behavior therapy that works with addictions much more successfully than any these victim propagandas. You can start you're own by meditation.
You will be surprised but I mostly agree, on the victim and brainwashing parts anyway. I am not addicted to meth or to anything else for that matter, I simply REFUSE to get addicted to anything. And if I get thoughts of "oooooh speeeeed... Would be sooooooo gooooooood right now" I tell them to fuck the hell off and it works.
You guys never do this with annoying thoughts? Or songs that "won't go away"? What I mean is, based on extremely sober zazen sesshin (zen meditation weekends) and other experiences, I have very reluctantly come to the conclusion, and I kid you not that I am a smart and very balanced person, that thoughts in general are of a telepathic nature. Now in many spiritual walks of life, the "cosmic self" or "higher self" or "ethereal self" or even "the holy spirit" in christian faiths, is said to continuously attempt to communicate with us.
I find that extreme genius inspiration (I've had those) comes when the mind is EXTREMELY QUIET and that a mind with much activity in it will more often than not, be filled with useless garbage. That is, in any case, my observation of myself and with some friends, most of whom never do any drugs at all.
Now I ask you, if our minds are filled with useless "thoughts", why don't we stop? BECAUSE WE DON'T REALLY CONTROL OUR MINDS. We can keep our bodies immobile, but not our minds? If we don't control our minds who controls it? Realize for a second HOW MUCH POWER we give "our thoughts" over ourselves in thinking that they are inherently ours. And yet, since we can't control our thoughts nearly as easily as we can control our bodies, it begs the question why should something that is out of our control dominate our persons and our lives? Such is not the way to happiness.
I have discovered, and you can test this yourselves, that by seeing thoughts as telepathic communications, mostly from the garbage zone of the plane of thought, the astral plane, we can make them stop. Truly. Reply to them "BE SILENT! I ORDER YOU TO STOP COMMUNICATING WITH ME! I AM CLOSING THE DOOR TO YOUR COMMUNICATIONS!", ideally out loud and with as much might and willpower as you can muster, and whatever thought you have will stop.
Now if seeing thoughts as internal makes them mostly uncontrollable, and seeing them as external and telepathic makes them very controllable, then I believe that the way to self-control, happiness and life-mastery lies in seeing thought as one big telepathic experience, one that can be shut off if one puts enough will and determination into it... And from the void of that great silence will come the subtlest of all impulses, pure, authentic, infinitely unique, infinitely intelligent, purely loving, of your cosmic self, whose communication is so pure and subtle that garbage thoughts completely smother it.
This explains mediumnity, telepathy among humans, and many people who encounter non-physical entities during trips, as well as age-old legends of "angels and demons". I don't have a religion, yet there is too much in old texts about non-physical beings, for us to dismiss them entirely without any consideration whatsoever. Yes, our world wants us to be fully rational and materialistic, but where is that taking us? Certainly, it is taking this world into a chaotic, dangerous direction...
Perhaps, the "internal nature of thought" is something that would deserve being revisited. Are you closed-minded? Are you brainwashed into believing that only that which can be observed with the 5 senses can be real and that anything else CANNOT be real?
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
