psychoblast
Bluelighter
My drug use has lately evolved / shifted to just these two drugs. I have a lot of other stuff on hand -- psychedelics, methylone, mdma, weed, etc. -- but have not bothered with them for months.
This is not necessarily a positive thing. I think I'm falling into an addictive groove. But, anyway, I have noticed some stuff that I'll impart.
First, tramadol can last a LONG time. I take 125 mg at 9am and I'm still feeling it till midnight. In fact, it seems to just get stronger as the day progresses. It is comparable, in my mind, to 5 mg of Vicodin. Maybe a bit dirtier feeling, but definitely longer lasting. Around 8pm at night, I start doing ketamine and I find there is a nice synergy, with the tramadol steering the ketamine buzz into a nice relaxing place. Ketamine by itself feels a bit depressing to me (though I'm still addicted to it), but the tramadol buzz keeps it feeling lighter and happier till midnight.
Second, I think tramadol is slow to build a tolerance, because after taking it a few days in a row, I get the same effect from the same amount. I force myself to take breaks every could of days, so I am not sure what would happen if I was doing it every day for an extended period of time.
Third, tramadol messes with your sleep big time. After taking tramadol two days in a row, I found the third day I was falling asleep all day long. This happened twice. I finally googled tramadol and sleep and found a study where patients given 100mg of tramadol were found to have significantly reduced REM sleep the following two nights. So I'm apparently depriving myself of a lot of REM sleep and every few days, I just crash all day long while my body recuperates.
Fourth, on a related note, i cannot sleep until the tramadol buzz ends. If I take it at 9am and I try to sleep at 11pm, I'll lay in bed with my mind racing and feeling an opiate-like pleasant itchiness for an hour or longer. Before I realized this, I was dropping my tramadol in the afternoon and then finding myself awake till 4am or later.
I actually like the length of the experience and the fact that it keeps me awake because after an exhausting day at work, I generally feel like crashing as soon as I get home, and this keeps me feeling energetic enough to socialize after work for a few hours.
Fifth, tramadol suppresses the appetite big time. With 125mg, I generally have no desire to eat the entire experience. And, again, that's a long time. I could easily skip lunch and dinner. But I've read that skipping meals on tramadol increases the hangover, so I generally force some food into me.
Sixth, tramadol hangovers suck, comparable to a night of too many tequila shots. The next morning I'm hating life, cursing myself for an idiot, and vomiting periodically into a trash can. This has happened when I've done 250mg of tramadol, and I learned not to do so much. At 150mg or less, and if I eat a bit and drink plenty of water and take it early enough that I get some sleep, I don't notice this too much.
On balance, I cannot recommend tramadol because of the problem that it messes with your REM sleep so much. Eventually, you have to pay the piper for that. But I use it to help me through a work week, and pay the piper on weekends, so I've been willing to make that trade off. But on balance, I find it worrisome.
Today, I'm trying an experiment decreasing my intake to 100mg. After 1.5 hours, I feel the familiar itchiness, a bit reminiscent of an opiate buzz.
Getting back to the ketamine, I bump it nightly, hourly, from about 8pm till 11pm. About once a week, I accidently put myself into a k-hole. I'm actually getting quite good at studying the edges of a k-hole. There's a point where you are skirting the edges and you can feel yourself sloping into the hole without quite falling into it.
I'm toying with the theory that ketamine shuts down parts of my brain, leaving me impaired and functionally brain damaged. I think the areas of the brain that shut down may vary, which leads to different types of trips. But I get to the point where i am very stupid, have a lot of trouble following a plot on a tv show or movie, or following a conversation. Before getting to that point, I have a lot of seeming brilliant insights that, after I sober up, seem rather pedantic or nonsensical.
I realized my draw to these two drugs, particularly ketamine, is not that it makes me happy. I am kind of annoyed that it makes it hard for me to follow my tv shows -- I enjoy the shows more when I can follow the plot without having to pause and rewind because I keep missing stuff. However, I have a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life and, frankly, when I'm sober there is always a buzzing of stress in the background that keeps me from fully relaxing. Thus, I find ketamine useful in shutting down that buzzing, though on balance it would be nice to find something that shut it down without shutting down my brain so much. I have tried xanax and soma and things like that, but they just put me to sleep. Ketamine shuts down the buzzing while still allowing me to be awake, albeit impaired.
Vicodin and tramadol shut down the buzzing too, but giving me a cloak of calm contentment, but vicodin has tolerance issues and sometimes just does not seem to kick in. And, anyway, now that I'm used to the nightly ketamine routine, I find it impossible to stop -- definitely psychologically addicted at this point. I did take a voluntary 30 day break over the summer, just to test my addiction. Though I made it 31 days, I do not think that disproves my addiction, as I knew going in that after a set period of time, I could resume usage. And I also had resolved that if I could not take a 30 day break, that would prove my addiction was too out-of-control and I'd start an addiction treatment program. So some part of me that likes ketamine realized the lesser evil was to give it up for 30 days rather than having to give it up forever. My addiction is clever like that.
Anyway, just thought I'd share since I do not read a lot about tramadol, or about ketamine addiction, or about combinations of these.
~psychoblast~
This is not necessarily a positive thing. I think I'm falling into an addictive groove. But, anyway, I have noticed some stuff that I'll impart.
First, tramadol can last a LONG time. I take 125 mg at 9am and I'm still feeling it till midnight. In fact, it seems to just get stronger as the day progresses. It is comparable, in my mind, to 5 mg of Vicodin. Maybe a bit dirtier feeling, but definitely longer lasting. Around 8pm at night, I start doing ketamine and I find there is a nice synergy, with the tramadol steering the ketamine buzz into a nice relaxing place. Ketamine by itself feels a bit depressing to me (though I'm still addicted to it), but the tramadol buzz keeps it feeling lighter and happier till midnight.
Second, I think tramadol is slow to build a tolerance, because after taking it a few days in a row, I get the same effect from the same amount. I force myself to take breaks every could of days, so I am not sure what would happen if I was doing it every day for an extended period of time.
Third, tramadol messes with your sleep big time. After taking tramadol two days in a row, I found the third day I was falling asleep all day long. This happened twice. I finally googled tramadol and sleep and found a study where patients given 100mg of tramadol were found to have significantly reduced REM sleep the following two nights. So I'm apparently depriving myself of a lot of REM sleep and every few days, I just crash all day long while my body recuperates.
Fourth, on a related note, i cannot sleep until the tramadol buzz ends. If I take it at 9am and I try to sleep at 11pm, I'll lay in bed with my mind racing and feeling an opiate-like pleasant itchiness for an hour or longer. Before I realized this, I was dropping my tramadol in the afternoon and then finding myself awake till 4am or later.
I actually like the length of the experience and the fact that it keeps me awake because after an exhausting day at work, I generally feel like crashing as soon as I get home, and this keeps me feeling energetic enough to socialize after work for a few hours.
Fifth, tramadol suppresses the appetite big time. With 125mg, I generally have no desire to eat the entire experience. And, again, that's a long time. I could easily skip lunch and dinner. But I've read that skipping meals on tramadol increases the hangover, so I generally force some food into me.
Sixth, tramadol hangovers suck, comparable to a night of too many tequila shots. The next morning I'm hating life, cursing myself for an idiot, and vomiting periodically into a trash can. This has happened when I've done 250mg of tramadol, and I learned not to do so much. At 150mg or less, and if I eat a bit and drink plenty of water and take it early enough that I get some sleep, I don't notice this too much.
On balance, I cannot recommend tramadol because of the problem that it messes with your REM sleep so much. Eventually, you have to pay the piper for that. But I use it to help me through a work week, and pay the piper on weekends, so I've been willing to make that trade off. But on balance, I find it worrisome.
Today, I'm trying an experiment decreasing my intake to 100mg. After 1.5 hours, I feel the familiar itchiness, a bit reminiscent of an opiate buzz.
Getting back to the ketamine, I bump it nightly, hourly, from about 8pm till 11pm. About once a week, I accidently put myself into a k-hole. I'm actually getting quite good at studying the edges of a k-hole. There's a point where you are skirting the edges and you can feel yourself sloping into the hole without quite falling into it.
I'm toying with the theory that ketamine shuts down parts of my brain, leaving me impaired and functionally brain damaged. I think the areas of the brain that shut down may vary, which leads to different types of trips. But I get to the point where i am very stupid, have a lot of trouble following a plot on a tv show or movie, or following a conversation. Before getting to that point, I have a lot of seeming brilliant insights that, after I sober up, seem rather pedantic or nonsensical.
I realized my draw to these two drugs, particularly ketamine, is not that it makes me happy. I am kind of annoyed that it makes it hard for me to follow my tv shows -- I enjoy the shows more when I can follow the plot without having to pause and rewind because I keep missing stuff. However, I have a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life and, frankly, when I'm sober there is always a buzzing of stress in the background that keeps me from fully relaxing. Thus, I find ketamine useful in shutting down that buzzing, though on balance it would be nice to find something that shut it down without shutting down my brain so much. I have tried xanax and soma and things like that, but they just put me to sleep. Ketamine shuts down the buzzing while still allowing me to be awake, albeit impaired.
Vicodin and tramadol shut down the buzzing too, but giving me a cloak of calm contentment, but vicodin has tolerance issues and sometimes just does not seem to kick in. And, anyway, now that I'm used to the nightly ketamine routine, I find it impossible to stop -- definitely psychologically addicted at this point. I did take a voluntary 30 day break over the summer, just to test my addiction. Though I made it 31 days, I do not think that disproves my addiction, as I knew going in that after a set period of time, I could resume usage. And I also had resolved that if I could not take a 30 day break, that would prove my addiction was too out-of-control and I'd start an addiction treatment program. So some part of me that likes ketamine realized the lesser evil was to give it up for 30 days rather than having to give it up forever. My addiction is clever like that.
Anyway, just thought I'd share since I do not read a lot about tramadol, or about ketamine addiction, or about combinations of these.
~psychoblast~
