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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

So what's the plan, man?

Asclepius said:
... sounds totally irresponsible of him to have acted that way, if you dont mind me saying...find that VERY innapropriate for an Adult to put that confusion on a Teenager. Even though perhaps the man was probably just as clueless himself over what he was choosing to believe in, who knows what goes on in peoples heads?!
Hope you find your own solace anyway Help me!:)<3


Letting go of trying to solve/control issues that are belonging to someone else not me.
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Asclepius, looking back I totally agree with you. He was a longtime friend before being ordained but still. He is a priest all these years later so I guess my moving away must have been a blessing to him 8).
 
<3@OD
I understand the complacency issue too well. I'm stubborn as a Muel so tend to have to take baby steps into things, if I push myself I sabotage it!
YES! Ate better Today-Woohoo! :) I have an E.D. so this area is a constant struggle for me but I dont want to harp on about it because It cosumes my head when I do(Pardon the pun!)

Must give Quinoa a try, know of it but never actually had it. I find smoked Salmon to be one of my favourite ('Non threatening') foods-purely for the reason it's very high in Omega-3's etc and it tastes delicious IMO

Health Benefits

NSFW:
Salmon is low in calories and saturated fat, yet high in protein, and a unique type of health-promoting fat, the omega-3 essential fatty acids. As their name implies, essential fatty acids are essential for human health but because they cannot be made by the body, they must be obtained from foods. Fish contain a type of essential fatty acid called the omega-3 fatty acids. Wild-caught cold water fish, like salmon, are higher in omega-3 fatty acids than warm water fish. In fact, the fat composition of salmon has recently been evaluated as superior not only because of its rich omega-3 content, but also because of its great ratio of omega-3s to omega-6s and its health-supportive balance of saturated, monounsaturated, and polyunsaturated fats. Each of these features in the fat composition of salmon helps reduce risk of unwanted inflammation and help maintain the integrity of our immune and circulatory systems. In addition to being an excellent source of omega-3s, salmon are an excellent source of selenium, a very good source of protein, niacin and vitamin B12, and a good source of phosphorus, magnesium and vitamin B6.


Well, lol I always get kicked pretty hard in the Ass when I start trying to look after other people too much, sometimes I need to physically seperate from certain people for a while to get myself centred and am getting much more used to accepting that fact, all the while trying not to isolate myself also. The hardest part for me ATM is trying to manage the feelings of guilt and frustration I experience as a result of it. Boundries are a very great thing though!:)


Ekhart Tolle emits a great Spirit of Surrender in The 'Power of Now'. Saw some of his seminars on You Tube...their pretty hilarious cause he's SO chilled it's surreal, he's like a Tiny Stoned German Pixie! in saying that, I dont mean to take away from the Merit of his teachings though cause they are very Wise and helpful.

There are things that I would like to work on about myself, but overall, I have accepted all of these things about myself. I would not be surprised if I never changed any of these things. My attitude about this is not indifference but acceptance, and I think it would be constructive if more people were accepting of themselves, one way or the other.
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^ Love this!=D<3

Asclepius, looking back I totally agree with you. He was a longtime friend before being ordained but still. He is a priest all these years later so I guess my moving away must have been a blessing to him .
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He's not important now anyway-you are darlin! ;)
 
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^yeah, I suspected there was a difference. I had read up on Voodhoun (sp?), a form of voodoo, years ago but it didn't really appeal to me
 
Was always under the assumption that 'Hoodoo' was a 'makey-up' poetic -licence type word, used simply just to rhyme with 'Vodoo' in songs?!?! Oh well, learn summit new every day:)(know its the wrong thread for this but...).....Just put me in mind of this great tune:
Hoodoo Voodoo
 
Well, I haven't taken any real action to remedy my issues. I have slowed down a bit in my day to day but the last few days have been somewhat edgy.

I left an NA meeting early tonight (I never do that) and I was in a weird spot in my head. I actually had the fleeting thought of intentionally hitting another car with mine and/or just starting a fight.

I'm NOT that kind of person (fuck, I hope I'm not)

People tell me that there is a big difference between thought and action but I simply need to know the root or triggers for these fucked up (and in my mind, morally wrong) thoughts.

Fuck it... its up to me... I have received suggestions (both here and 'real life' resources). If I don't make an effort and at least try to get well with this then I'm the only one to blame for my misery and consequences.

It truly needs to be about action and not just theorizing. If nothing changes, nothing changes
 
As long as such thoughts are occasional and fleeting, they're common and "normal". Increased frequency, duration or intensity of such thoughts would be cause for concern but I think you're comparing your thoughts to an idealised version of how you imagine "normal" people think and feel.

And yeah, we can make all the suggestions in the world but only you can act on them. So which one are you going to put into action first? :)
 
that makes sense, lolie. I do compare my thoughts/feelings to what I think others are thinking/feeling normally. Also, I may over-analyze myself a bit too much.

Today, it starts with baby steps. Push-ups and pull-ups.

Also, I think I should be exercising my brain more so instead of digging through my storage spot for books, I'm just going to head to the bookstore and let something jump out at me and read it. Many have suggested 'The Power of Now' so I think I'm going to thumb through it and se what's up

Consistency is key so that positive habits become second nature.
 
OverDone said:
We all have some sort of flaw to our character that just glares us in the face and affects our quality of life. Shit, let's face it, we have many things that are part of our make-up that simply just don't sit well with us.

Complacency, comfort in our discomfort, fear of change, etc. prevent us from helping us help ourselves get better with these defects in our character

So what are we gonna do about it?

For me, there are three distinctly noticeable things about me that I truly wish to be rid of:

1) Anger
2) Self-centeredness
3) Fear

I intend to tackle my anger issues first and here's the plan (sorry its copy/pasted from another thread)

'Here is what I plan on doing. If I can accomplish these few baby steps I'm certain I will have something to build upon and actually work on eventually ridding myself of this.

1) Meditate daily
2) Slow the fuck down in my daily activities
3) Read about Buddhist philosophies
4) [strikeJournal more[/strike] (EDIT: I realized that I already do this so it wouldn't be accurate to add to a list of NEW things to try)
5) Begin piecing together some CBT techniques from online resources
6) Resume the pull ups, push ups and crunches (hopefully the meditation will help balance my theory that I become more aggressive from exercise.'

Anyone else wanna dive in with me?

I think the key is to just come up with perhaps a handful of action items to work on daily and they have to be things that we will actually do as opposed to simply wanting to do.

I think it'd be kinda cool to help each other out in becoming better people.

I dunno, whatcha think? What's drivin' you nuts and whatcha gonna do about it?
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First off - damn good post brother , I love any question like this challenging myself to think about how I could improve and evolve into a better human.

For things off the bat I would really like to change:

1) I wouldn't call it bloodlust , but I am an instigator , and I'm very violent. I don't wish I wasn't because it's part of how I succeed I use anger to drive me. BUT i desperately need to MODERATE it. I've had countless arrests for assaults , had assaulting cops etc ... it's been BAD. I haven't been arrested in sometime now - so I can say i have calmed down.

how - a) got clean b) accepted that my anger was 90% fear and 10 % greed / selfish reasons c) psychotherapy with a PTSD specialist every week, never miss a beat. I am completely upfront with him and it has made lightyears difference. d) fact that I don't live my life just for myself anymore ... that's honestly the biggest thing , when you aren't putting yourself first in your own life - you have to challenge yourself to solve your problems or else you cannot care for the one you love right.

2) Guilt - self explanatory no need to go into what I feel guilty for, but I look at myself and if I see the bad I see nothing buta piece of shit , when I see the good I remind myself not am only not that dude anymore but even when I was... well we aren't perfect ... I made my mistakes, I still will make mistakes, I need to learn to let go of ALL the damn guilt. It honestly weighs me down immensely - I hate it and this is one area where work w/my doc have done nothing. I honestly wonder if some things you never get over , you just learn to handle as best as possible. It certainly feels that way to me in this area.

Aside from that I'm head to toe perfect =D lmao jk
 
I really need to eat healthier, I eat very erratically,

I also need to "Disabuse myself of the victim mentality". I don't really think of myself as a victim, I try to take responsibility for my decisions and most of the time I do, I just want to make sure I'm being honest with myself as much as possible because when I hear people constantly blame others for their problems it really reminds me that you can't succeed with that kind of attitude.

I believe we create our reality from moment to moment, there's a huge amount of freedom and discipline that are involved in making that work.

I also need to save more money, It's tough, life is expensive, I don't have it all planned out yet but just being aware is the first step I guess.

I REALLY need to get over my ex girlfriend, EVERYTIME I feel I've moved on guess who shows up or calls? I guess time will take care of this as long as I stay strong.

I don't do well with lists, I do better if I just regularly visualize where I want to be and then make sure I'm doing what I need to do to achieve that vision.

Do less drugs, that's obvious, but I have made progress there and there is no use in dwelling on the negative anyway. Nothing good every happens when I'm going around thinking negatively, the second I start to look at things more positively things improve, everytime without fail.
 
unsettled said:
I really need to eat healthier, I eat very erratically,

I also need to "Disabuse myself of the victim mentality". I don't really think of myself as a victim, I try to take responsibility for my decisions and most of the time I do, I just want to make sure I'm being honest with myself as much as possible because when I hear people constantly blame others for their problems it really reminds me that you can't succeed with that kind of attitude.

I believe we create our reality from moment to moment, there's a huge amount of freedom and discipline that are involved in making that work.

I also need to save more money, It's tough, life is expensive, I don't have it all planned out yet but just being aware is the first step I guess.

I REALLY need to get over my ex girlfriend, EVERYTIME I feel I've moved on guess who shows up or calls? I guess time will take care of this as long as I stay strong.

I don't do well with lists, I do better if I just regularly visualize where I want to be and then make sure I'm doing what I need to do to achieve that vision.

Do less drugs, that's obvious, but I have made progress there and there is no use in dwelling on the negative anyway. Nothing good every happens when I'm going around thinking negatively, the second I start to look at things more positively things improve, everytime without fail.
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Great post bro, that shit rips me up inside because truthfully I am there with you. I went from victim to thinking I was over all that because I was angry and violent - now I just admit that I need help and have found a specialist , becoming vulnerable after 15 years ... its not easy brother - but it's the best thing to do. Keep fighting the good fight, it really is (sadly I suppose, although the world is not perfect) comforting to know someone else tackles similar issues and is willing to confront them. Best of luck.
 
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