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So what's the plan, man?

OverDone

OverDone

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
5,404
We all have some sort of flaw to our character that just glares us in the face and affects our quality of life. Shit, let's face it, we have many things that are part of our make-up that simply just don't sit well with us.

Complacency, comfort in our discomfort, fear of change, etc. prevent us from helping us help ourselves get better with these defects in our character

So what are we gonna do about it?

For me, there are three distinctly noticeable things about me that I truly wish to be rid of:

1) Anger
2) Self-centeredness
3) Fear

I intend to tackle my anger issues first and here's the plan (sorry its copy/pasted from another thread)

'Here is what I plan on doing. If I can accomplish these few baby steps I'm certain I will have something to build upon and actually work on eventually ridding myself of this.

1) Meditate daily
2) Slow the fuck down in my daily activities
3) Read about Buddhist philosophies
4) [strikeJournal more[/strike] (EDIT: I realized that I already do this so it wouldn't be accurate to add to a list of NEW things to try)
5) Begin piecing together some CBT techniques from online resources
6) Resume the pull ups, push ups and crunches (hopefully the meditation will help balance my theory that I become more aggressive from exercise.'

Anyone else wanna dive in with me?

I think the key is to just come up with perhaps a handful of action items to work on daily and they have to be things that we will actually do as opposed to simply wanting to do.

I think it'd be kinda cool to help each other out in becoming better people.

I dunno, whatcha think? What's drivin' you nuts and whatcha gonna do about it?
 
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The only problem I have in my life is my overuse of stims on the weekends, and my g/f always thinking I'm cheating(when I'm really working all the time to keep up with habits). I can come off as an a-hole sometimes to my family but that is just me being defensive because I make a mere 14bucks an hour while my dad is 120,000 a year and my mom 65,000. Luckily my older brother doesn't work so it makes me look better. What people like my folks don't understand, is that if I made "a lot of money" I would develop a serious problem with one of many chemicals.
 
I'm really good at adopting good habits but I'm lousy at maintaining them - which means that they're not there to serve me when life gets bumpy.

I need to resume meditating daily. I need to start cooking food I enjoy again - I've been going for quick and easy too often lately. I basically need to resume treating myself like someone I value.

I know I feel better when I treat myself well, but more importantly I've found that other people treat you better when you treat yourself well. It's when you treat yourself badly that you seem to attract other people who'll treat you badly. When you treat yourself well, you're not even on the radar of those people.
 
Im clean off drugs and yet I am still consumed with unhappiness. What I have been trying to change FOREVER is my confidence level. I really really want a g/f and this sober shit makes me question everything. I have a stack of phone number of chicks to the right of me yet I havent picked up the phone to call one, ONE forever. Prior to lately I have had hot girls all the time, but I have been so tweaked [IMO] simce I have gotten off benzos. So what I am saying is maybe I will call a chick that gives me her number or heaven forbid I actually go after a chick I want to fuck. I do miss the fuck out of my last g/f man WHAT WAS I THINKING???@@@!!!! dumbass

So yeah self confidence.


peace.
seedless
 
Hey man, good post. There are so many things that I want to change that I end up getting paralyzed instead of doing anything.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to slow the hell down with my overactive thinking, and learn to just be more grounded in the moment whatever it is. I feel like I have a constant background anxiety that can increase/decrease depending on the situation, but which is always there. My steps are similar to yours:

-Resume daily meditation practice
-Resume Buddhism readings
-Journaling
-Spend less time online

Not sure exactly what I'll end up doing, but I figure posting it might make it more likely that I follow through.
 
I ordered some spirituality books I am eager to read. I had a mystical experience the other day I am struggling to understand. I also plan on starting to meditate daily.

@bagochina: Since I've got off benzos my self-confidence has been absolutely shattered as well. No way I'm ready for a relationship. I'm a bit over 5 months off.. It's just odd because I used to be extremely outgoing -- now I'm extremely introverted.
 
I've always wanted to learn to meditate. It would help with the anxiety from WD when I start to taper again. For now I put headphones on, close my eyes, light some incense or a scented candle and listen to Gregorian chants, Enigma, or Sade. Maybe my brain needs the rest from the normal music I listen to but it helps calm me for the moment.
 
I like HeMp, villian and Legerity's!!!

I'd really like to finish my altar and begin using it every morning.
I recently started lying i bed for about 5 minutes when I first wake up , thinking positive thoughts- and I feel better already. I'd like to continue that.
I need to do some grounding work and get more in tune with my spiritual self again.
I've been really focused on the day to day living and not so much on taking care of my spirit.
I'm going to work on that- which I feel in turn will help keep my anxiety levels down.
 
^ Ocean, I have a chapel in my home. It's def a Catholic thing including two kneelers. One is a penance kneeler (unpadded and hard on the knees) and the other which is about 125 years old is padded and covered in aged leather. The room is filled with statues and really looks just like a small church.

I've said before I am a devout Catholic but secretly I have always wanted to dabble in Hoodoo. (NOT Voodoo). There is a "dark side" to the Catholic religion that goes beyond mass on Sundays. That's what I practice and what I learned as a youngin'. The older I get though the more I think that Hoodoo and even some Wiccan would all blend well together. Nature you know...if God created it he must want us to celebrate it too. Does that make sense? When I was 17 my priest told me I was sent to him by God as a test. He debated about leaving the order because he said I confused him so much. I think that started a lifetime of guilt for me though I don't know about what! Now that I am older I think it's safe for me to add to what I feel is in my soul.

Hard to believe I have never been stoned huh? Lol. Oh yeah...I am still tapering but taking a bit of a break after another horrible ordeal with WD. I am really close to being off the pain meds. Been supplementing with ibuprofen OTC. Had a nasty accident in the house which I still am not recovered from after 3 and a half weeks. How long before bruises go away? A little bit of pain can be a good thing :) You know you are alive then!

I wish I could stay in bed for 5 minutes and just focus or even stretch but I have to pee so bad then...
 
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^I won't go into religion too much in here b/c I don't want to offend anyone or totally derail the thread really...... plus, I get kind of anxious when talking about Catholicism. ;)
I am not in any way a Christian of any sort......but get what you are saying about being Catholic.
I would love to have a couple pews and a chapel type setting-That's awesome......I like that idea, dedicating a whole room or space of your house just maybe of a tie in of a number of religions which make up my belief system.....and sure, I'd throw in a Mary statue since I think she was adopted to convert the Pagans........
 
I'm working on who I really am at the moment.

I've just ordered:

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now

You can read the first chapter online, after I read it, I ordered it straight away.

Recommended.
 
oliphill said:
I'm working on who I really am at the moment.

I've just ordered:

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now

You can read the first chapter online, after I read it, I ordered it straight away.

Recommended.
Click to expand...

I'd be interested to know what you think of it. Oprah's gushing over A New Earth really put me off getting hold of it.
 
oliphil I started reading the Power of Now yesterday and I'm half way through it! makes you think for sure, I'm loving his philosophy of life! I think you will get a lot from it..
 
When I was 17 my priest told me I was sent to him by God as a test.[ He debated about leaving the order because he said I confused him so much. I think that started a lifetime of guilt for me though I don't know about what! Now that I am older I think it's safe for me to add to what I feel is in my soul.
Click to expand...

... sounds totally irresponsible of him to have acted that way, if you dont mind me saying...find that VERY innapropriate for an Adult to put that confusion on a Teenager. Even though perhaps the man was probably just as clueless himself over what he was choosing to believe in, who knows what goes on in peoples heads?!
Hope you find your own solace anyway Help me!:)<3

I'd be interested to know what you think of it. Oprah's gushing over A New Earth really put me off getting hold of it.
Click to expand...

LOL Can understand this. Sometimes the content/intention in her shows can be full of wisdom tho. I read it, and found it very inspiring. His philosophies are pretty Universal and he doesnt appear to be a complete Media-whore which is always a good sign IMO.

This thread is a great idea!
Heres some, of MANY, for the time being:
*Procrastination
*Fear
*Anxiety
*Misplaced Anger

Right now im just going to definitely commit to eating a healthier diet because I am reaching for food or not eating, instead of letting myself feel what I should be feeling.

Letting go of trying to solve/control issues that are belonging to someone else not me.

Am also going to make a concious effort NOT to overreact to situations.

....and I need to go to sleep earlier, instead of farting about online like I am now!:p
(Really have to think more about what the nuts and bolts of this plan will entail realistically)
 
The Power of Now was something I really got a lot from, I prefer it over his newer book, it gets more to the point. I can't stand Oprah so I didn't follow anything she was doing with the author, but it really was a great book in my opinion.
 
Has anyone put their plan into action as of yet? I haven't. Complacency is a motherfucker for me. It seems that the hardest thing to do is to get started.

last night I was in a furious rage (I was home alone). I DID write about it and that helped a lot. I removed 'journaling' from my list because I realized that that is already a tool use. I need to incorporate NEW things

bagochina - I noticed that exercise also helps with self-confidence as well as maintaining my responsibilities (even if I don't want to do them). Call one of those girls, man!!!!!! I think we are kind of similar so I can relate to how hard it is to pick up the phone

HeMp - Sade is AWESOME!!! I also listen to Enya, Clannad and Loreena McKennitt when relaxing. Very soothing. I'm also curious n ow. I think Imma gonna google Hoodoo

ocean - how do you find the motivation to not stay in bed after the five minutes of collecting your thoughts? I'd like to try that but I fear that I may simply just stay in bed for hours and not face the world

oli, villain, Asceplius and Legerity - hmmmm.... I respect you guys so I think Eckhart Tolle's - The Power of Now may be something I should look into

Asclepius said:
.
Right now im just going to definitely commit to eating a healthier diet because I am reaching for food or not eating, instead of letting myself feel what I should be feeling.

Letting go of trying to solve/control issues that are belonging to someone else not me.
Click to expand...

I was turned onto a grain that I am simply addicted to here at BL. Quinoa is one of my favorite, healthy powerfoods. It fills me up and is relatively inexpensive

Letting go is hard. I know a lot of folks (myself included) that don't know the boundaries of helping someone and enter into the painful realm of fixing, managing and controlling others problems/lives
 
There are things that I would like to work on about myself, but overall, I have accepted all of these things about myself. I would not be surprised if I never changed any of these things. My attitude about this is not indifference but acceptance, and I think it would be constructive if more people were accepting of themselves, one way or the other.

1) alexithymia
2) dissociation
3) acute social withdrawal/hikikomori

How I plan to work on these things...

1) daily exercise
2) posting in TDS more often to try to process thoughts/emotions
3) focusing away from negative thoughts with the use of noise
4) continuing to taper with buprenorphine (I probably use no more than 200 mcg per day as is though)
5) cleaning my apartment more often

I believe my plan only addresses #1 and #2 as of right now, I guess I can continue working on my plan later if I think of anything new.
 
I've been learning a lot from your posts, CH and I look forward to seeing more in TDS. Learning from other's experience and listening to their knowledge helps me a great deal.

Now get posting!!!!!!! :D
 
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