Sleeping with housemates.

[kace]

So last night after work, my housemate and I watched a movie together in my room, smoked a couple spliffs and got pretty stoned in my bed, Then my memory is fuzzy as fuck, the next thing I know it's dawn and we're having really steamy sex, which went on till about 8am. We snuggled up, slept and then I woke up, made us a coffee and some food and he rushed to work. We haven't said a thing since.. he just said he felt a bit 'spun out', lol..

Now, I'm not sure what to do. Last night/ morning was pretty fun and I do have feelings for him, but I don't want this to get super awkward or have any drama. I was in a bit of a benzo-haze at the time, which he was oblivious to. What should I say to him? Or should I pretend nothing happened?

Thanks for any advice.

 

[Lysis]

Well...it's probably gonna happen again, so I would say something. Personally, I would want to set my boundaries, but that's the planner in me. :D

 

[P A]

Or should I pretend nothing happened?

If he doesn't say anything, you might want to leave it alone. How well do you know this guy? I mean, based upon the preamble (watching movie together, sharing drugs in bed) it seems pretty clear to me that you two are relatively well-acquainted compared to most roommates I've shared/heard of. Is this something you've found yourself wanting, even vaguely/passingly, in the past? As in, have your 'feelings for him' existed for a longer period of time than that which has passed since you had sex?

 

[trees_please]

i would definitely pretend nothing happened. if youre successful in doing that what could go wrong?

 

[Mariposa]

^Oh, I can say from experience that something can go wrong with sleeping with a housemate. They might convince you that they are the perfect person for you in an effort to manipulate and control you. I met my most recent ex as a roommate and when he couldn't pay the lease or the bills, I went to live with him and his toxic mother.

I never want to see him again because he's an asshole. This was a first for me. I've had male housemates (two now, one other female) and I sleep peacefully knowing that they're not creepy. It is nice to come home to people that do not yell in your face.

The benefit of the experience is that I won't be repeating that mistake. He is gorgeous and there was chemistry. Once I got to really know him, I realized that our lives, experiences, and values were divergent to the point that even a friendship would not work. Nope. I won't be going there again.

I don't want to advise you, OP, to kick the dude out of your life or whatever - I will advise you that most of these types of relationships end and that the drama can be super heavy. If you go into this, please do it with your eyes wide open and make sure you are financially stable enough to move if the situation stops working. Good luck.

 

[rangrz]

This kind of thing has generally worked for me. It's always been fun and no drama. ( I currently live w my bestie and we have kinky sex all the time. we've been friends for 7 years or so)

I'd just say last night was fun and keep it to that.

 

[kace]

Thanks for your replies guys.

P.A-Yeah we're pretty good friends and I've been attracted to him for quite a while. When I first met him there was a lot of chemistry between us at first, we were always getting trashed after work, making out, cuddling/ sharing the same bed (but still friends). However we'd both just come out of a relationship, and living and working together (with the exact same rota and hours), mutually agreed it'd be best to cool things off incase something went tits up. That was in July.

Mariposa, your old roommate sounds like a manipulative psychopath! That must of been horrible to live with. My ex was similiar but luckily this guy is nothing like that, he's lovely.

I think now I've calmed down a bit, I'll just play it cool and see what happens in the future.. but it kinda sucks, I wish I could just ask him about last night/ this morning and jump back in bed with him.

 

[llama112]

How long are you in the lease for?
Just wondering ... because that could change things.

Getting involved with a housemate can be kind of crazy. Because, if it goes bad, then living there can really suck. Awkward and whatnot. I'd say play it cool for now, unless you are moving out soon.

 

[tricomb]

I personally think that it's a disaster waiting to happen, for the reasons llama 112 said.

the term "don't shit where you eat" may or may not apply, some people can be totally awesome respectful friends with benefits, but you're really spinning the chamber with someone you have to live with at the end of the day.