I was on ADs for twenty years before trying to come off the most recent one, Effexor, to disastrous effect. I was put on mirtazapine while suffering unrecognized protracted withdrawal because I couldn't sleep or eat. It was only after reinstating the Effexor at the minimum dose that I discovered it was all withdrawal, because within one hour of that dose the clouds parted and the sun shone again. After this discovery, I embarked on a 10% (combined) taper of both meds, because for one, they never really did the job and two, there had been too many signs that ADs were actually making my life worse (sexual anhedonia being one sign) and I didn't want to be on substances that could cause me to be nearly suicidal by their absence. I learned about how the body adapts to their presence to bring about homeostasis through neuroplastic adaptations, and that those changes un-opposed caused all the nightmare I had experienced. So, for over four years, I made small cuts until a few months ago I jumped off a minuscule dose of Effexor. Now I am down to 0.5 mg mirtazapine (down from the highest dose of 37.5 mg).
Anhedonia has been the worst symptom throughout, and yes, I am depressed. I have always suffered from social anxiety, probably the reason for my depression to begin at the end of elementary school. Creativity ceased over the 20 years of AD use. I was always bad with procrastination but that too became pathological over those years to the point that now, I can't get going on anything unless there's some semblance of pleasure involved. The things I used to enjoy don't excite me at all anymore. I am a homebody, almost agoraphobic. I just don't want to leave the house.
I am stuck in so many ways, and full of fear about the future because my husband was laid off and un-employment has run out. Though friends say "This might be the beginning of something better," my brain is currently incapable of seeing any silver lining or opportunity in this life change.
It is hard to tell if the horrid way I am feeling these days is due to withdrawal or just what's left of me without meds. I think the meds keep people from growing, so I've been on hold all these years. Therapy never stuck. I DO NOT BELIEVE that antidepressants are good for anything so no, I will NOT go back on any.
I recently became aware of the research being done with magic mushrooms and treatment resistant depression. Participants had to have tried antidepressants in the past but it isn't clear to me how long these people were off of them before tripping. So, it isn't clear if they were in withdrawal or not. I really want to try shrooms to see if I can get unstuck. I feel incredibly stuck, stuck in negative thinking, stuck in feeling badly about myself, stuck in not believing in myself, stuck in not feeling any motivation, excitement, creativity, stuck in procrastination.
I tapered with the help of survivingantidepressants.org, but over there they discourage taking anything other than fish oil and magnesium. They discourage trying psychedelics for fear that our nervous systems may be sensitized by the withdrawal and that we could have paradoxical effects.
So, my question here is, are there any folks here who have tripped after getting off psych meds, and were there any problems? Were you helped? Did it go badly? And, is still being on a tiny dose of 0.5 mg mirtazapine a problem with trying? I thought if I could get ahold of some shrooms, I'd try a microdose to see how my system tolerates it and proceed from there. I have waited over four years to try to get away from the psych meds. I don't want to rush the last leg of the mirtazapine taper and suffer withdrawal, though at 0.5 mg I'm pretty close to jumping off. I read of the neural mode network reset that shrooms can facilitate and want that so badly! At this point, I would think that the neurogenesis caused by psilocybin would be a good thing!
Thoughts?
Anhedonia has been the worst symptom throughout, and yes, I am depressed. I have always suffered from social anxiety, probably the reason for my depression to begin at the end of elementary school. Creativity ceased over the 20 years of AD use. I was always bad with procrastination but that too became pathological over those years to the point that now, I can't get going on anything unless there's some semblance of pleasure involved. The things I used to enjoy don't excite me at all anymore. I am a homebody, almost agoraphobic. I just don't want to leave the house.
I am stuck in so many ways, and full of fear about the future because my husband was laid off and un-employment has run out. Though friends say "This might be the beginning of something better," my brain is currently incapable of seeing any silver lining or opportunity in this life change.
It is hard to tell if the horrid way I am feeling these days is due to withdrawal or just what's left of me without meds. I think the meds keep people from growing, so I've been on hold all these years. Therapy never stuck. I DO NOT BELIEVE that antidepressants are good for anything so no, I will NOT go back on any.
I recently became aware of the research being done with magic mushrooms and treatment resistant depression. Participants had to have tried antidepressants in the past but it isn't clear to me how long these people were off of them before tripping. So, it isn't clear if they were in withdrawal or not. I really want to try shrooms to see if I can get unstuck. I feel incredibly stuck, stuck in negative thinking, stuck in feeling badly about myself, stuck in not believing in myself, stuck in not feeling any motivation, excitement, creativity, stuck in procrastination.
I tapered with the help of survivingantidepressants.org, but over there they discourage taking anything other than fish oil and magnesium. They discourage trying psychedelics for fear that our nervous systems may be sensitized by the withdrawal and that we could have paradoxical effects.
So, my question here is, are there any folks here who have tripped after getting off psych meds, and were there any problems? Were you helped? Did it go badly? And, is still being on a tiny dose of 0.5 mg mirtazapine a problem with trying? I thought if I could get ahold of some shrooms, I'd try a microdose to see how my system tolerates it and proceed from there. I have waited over four years to try to get away from the psych meds. I don't want to rush the last leg of the mirtazapine taper and suffer withdrawal, though at 0.5 mg I'm pretty close to jumping off. I read of the neural mode network reset that shrooms can facilitate and want that so badly! At this point, I would think that the neurogenesis caused by psilocybin would be a good thing!
Thoughts?