Should my girlfriend be on drugs?

[GoreBreath]

My girlfriend has borderline personality disorder as well as a debilitating shyness. She has been on zoloft which has really helped with her bpd. She really doesn't have mood swings anymore and she is generally in a good mood.
the problem is I am a very social being and have loads of friends that I love. She is an absolute recluse and avoids people at all costs because of her shyness.

I can relate to her because I use to be the same way when I was in my teens (minus the border line) I was so afraid of people I wanted to die, but I have since conquered my fears and have a enjoyed my life a whole lot more.

I enjoy the occasional methadone or morphine pill and I know how it can work wonders for your social life. But I don't really want her on anything that serious.
She seems to enjoy smoking marijuana as it it makes her really playful and less worrysome but she has only been high around me, not with other people.

My idea was to maybe introduce her to LSD since it completely chilled my spazzy ass out after the first time I tried it, it really made me realize what was important in my life and what things were not worth worrying about.

Does anyone think this is a good idea?

 

[Fawkes]

i imagine this will be moved to a more suitable forum, but SSRIs (such as Zoloft) have been known to decrease the effects of LSD, as well as inhibit any euphoria from MDMA.

your girlfriend should take her SSRI as prescribed and see a counselor if she's finding social interaction to be difficult.

 

[augustaB]

LSD in my view is way too unpredictable to give to somebody with any kind of mental problem.
She could have a horrible trip and end up far more troubled than she is now.

 

[Noodle]

SLR > The Dark Side

 

[Escher's Waterfall]

How long has your girlfriend had these mental health issues?

If it was for a long period of time during her formative years, could it be that she just lacks the socialization skills that most people have?

If that's the case, I'd argue that therapy would be more effective than trying more drugs.

 

[RedLeader]

LSD in my view is way too unpredictable to give to somebody with any kind of mental problem.
She could have a horrible trip and end up far more troubled than she is now.

This.

Firstly, though, does your girlfriend even have an interest in street drugs? If not, then I definitely would just let her be and not try and put dice in her hand. If so, then I'd proceed very carefully.

Secondly, are you sure that she just isn't an introverted person who does not want to be a social butterfly? Some people are like that. It can seem from the outside like it would be a less-fun way of living, but for some people the life of the recluse is the desired one. At this point, you might have to weigh the pros and cons of your relationship with her and see if she's really the one for you, given that she might actually prefer being this way. And it's not just tied to mental conditions.

I'm not trying to be blunt, but don't try and be her doctor. Drugs, when used recreationally, should be used to amplify life, not try and fix it. The latter just introduces a person to an uphill climb from the start. Think about it -- say you gave her Drug X and she "broke out of her shell" and had a great time socializing. Does that automatically translate to her being able to do the same thing again only without Drug X? Eh, maybe but I've seen it go ther other way more than not.

What I would suggest is that if you and/or your friends have learned from drugs like LSD, why not just try and show that love through her not by giving her the drug, but by being nice, open and comfortable with her in ways that the drugs have taught you to be? I understand how can want her to have the same thing happen to her which happened to you, but everyone's brain is different and it's no guarantee.

In any case, I wish the best for your relationship and her ability to keep feeling better.

 

[das_feuer]

Why would you want to give drugs to someone with such a serious mental illness? Even if her meds are helping her, are you sure it's such a good idea for her to be using drugs? Don't you think that could make things much worse for her in the long run? Don't you think it would be healthier for her to work with her therapist on her social skills, or for you to help her? Don't you think it would be best for her to overcome her shyness on her own terms instead of getting into the habit of relying upon using one drug or another to "fix" whatever immediate problem she faces? What if she goes out of control with the drugs or the drugs make her symptoms come back even worse than they were before? What if the drugs trigger something and she winds up in a mental hospital because of it? I've seen these things happen before when people who have mental health issues get into using drugs. I've had that crap happen to myself in the past and it isn't pretty.

Also, as RedLeader said, have you considered that she might just prefer to be a quiet person who keeps to herself? Not everyone is outgoing. Some people find interacting socially with others to be very draining and stressful and they may actually not enjoy socializing at all. What is fun for you might not be for her.

Just food for thought.

 

[Z Y G G Y]

Has she tried therapy? Like for example Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? It can do wonders for these kinds of problems...

Sorry about being off topic but after reading your posts it is obvious to me that she is like the perfect candidate for someone who would benefit from CBT. I know a lot about it so if you want to know more shoot me PM.

Drugs and meds can be effective, but I found that they are so often hit and miss. They often don't work or have horrendous side effects. They are not that long lasting, and effects are often there only as long as you are on the medication. So while medication can be effective for some people, I don't think we are that advanced in out knowledge to really be able to treat mental illnesses that well with medication. I think it should either be the last resort after everything else has failed or taken in conjunction with therapy in order to make teh therapy more effective or ease the person into the therapy. I'm not really into meds just being given away for any mental disorder. I think that happens way too often. It is easy. It takes a lot less office time than therapy. Takes a lot less work on the part of the doctor...they just give out the script, take the money and see the person next month.

So while therapy is usually more expensive and time consuming, it does not come with a bunch of horrendous side effects and usually the effects last a life time. Results should be seen within a month or two...about the same amount of time as an antidepressant would take effect. It's just that she would have to go probably at least twice a week and do work at home. The therapist would assign her stuff to work on at home and she would come back with the work and talk to the threapist about it. The final goal is for the patient to solve problems without the help of the therapist and without writing them down.

CBT really helps conquer your fears. You were able to just fight them on your own, but unfortunately she wasn't. That;s where the therapist comes in. They will help your gf deal with her fears so that they do not negatively impact her life. They will look at her thought patterns and change them into positive ones. They will teach her coping skills in these situations and how to be able to get through them. CBT is really great for social anxiety and related problems.

I hope you guys decide to put the effort and resources into CBT for your gf. It will have a wonderful effect on the rest of your time together. It will not only benefit her social anxiety problems but she will be able to more effectively deal with other problems as the therapy works on anything that the patient has trouble with. You will not regret getting her into CBT. Just make sure she gets a psychologist with a PhD to do the therapy. I found that they are the best. And I also prefer ones that don't have too many years of experience as I noticed burn out. Id definitely would not let nurse practitioners, social workers or counselors w/o a PhD do CBT on me. Psychiatrists are ok, but they are often more expensive and focus too much on medication since they can script and probably get cut backs from the pharma companies for scripting the new, expensive meds.

Sorry for the long post that is not exactly about what you asked, but I really think CBT will improve the rest of your gf's life in a way that drugs/meds can't. Good luck to you in whatever you choose.

One thing I am kinda curious about is why would a very outgoing person be with a really shy person? What made you decide to date a person like this who is so different socially. Does it make your social life difficult? Do you guys fight about it often? I think the fact that she is dating someone who is outgoing is a great thing for her. Being shy is kinda of a detriment in our society IMO. If she was dating someone who is also shy then she wouldn't have to try and be more social. But since she is dating you she has to come out of her shell and force herself to do things she normally wouldn't have to or want to do. Which is great as these things are necessary for a good and productive life. For her being with a social person is very beneficial. She needs some way to conquer her fears. Think about how you did it. Maybe you can guide her through it. It is nice thou that you are trying to help her conquer her fears. I know part of it is that you genuinely care about her and also want her to be social. But part of it is a little selfish (which is normal) because i am sure you would rather have a social gf who likes to go out as sitting home gets tired fast.

How did you conquer the fear of people in social situations?

 

[Lysis]

I'm pretty antisocial in real life and I can be pretty shy...not because I'm scared of people, but just that I am not very open. I prefer close friends than having lots of people around...I hate crowds.

Oddly enough, I always date outgoing people. I don't want to date another shy person. It does help a lot to have a social BF - gets you out of your element. The only bad part is that I'm not good at parties or clubs...I prefer social interaction like hanging out playing Wii or just having dinner.

I'm not really sure why outgoing people are attracted to me, but I do understand how comfortable it can be for the shy person to get involved with a social person. It's kinda like you feel comfortable around your SO, and you can choose to socialize or just listen to their conversations without feeling obligated to be really social.

It's hard to explain, but I understand how the OP and his shy girl probably are fine with each other.

As the shy person in most relationships, I don't think drugs are necessarily the answer. For me, I can be very talkative when it's my BF and I on something like a double-date and dinner. So, maybe take her out with a very small group...another couple is usually perfect for me. I actually made a good friend this way with one of my BF's friend's girlfriend.

 

[rant*N*rave]

I just want to second everyone's suggestions. I have some bad psychological problems, and while some drugs have helped me, I would NEVER recommend them as a solution to problems, even though I have used them to help me with my problems - you can never tell what might happen, and it would be irresponsible to promote them to someone for that specific purpose because then they might think that drugs are something they aren't.

If she wants to get over shyness, she'll have to do it without drugs anyways. I used to be painfully, painfully shy, and I got over it because I wanted to and because I worked hard at it. If she wants your help, give it to her, but please don't get her thinking that it will be easy, and please don't encourage her to do dangerous things to get to the end goal.

 

[Thou]

In your case I wouldn't suggest an LSD experience, nor any psychedelic, for that matter; nor deny one.

I'm of a similar reclusive manic mind position to your girlfriends, though I had to find my own way with psychedelics just like everyone else. I've not had another hand in my experiences other than what I'd read in print, and that was enough for me.

It seems to me you're trying to adjust your partners behaviour to suit your needs, IE: social interaction and the like. Or maybe you've just been so 'blessed' by the sacred views the psychs can bless us with you feel obligated to share it with those you most love. I can relate to all of the above.

Just remember, these things need to be accepted before experienced, and by the whims of the taker, not the antagonist (not a negative connotation here).

Be Safe.

 

[Georgie25]

Being an introvert myself who enjoys being alone more than being with other people, I don't think you should try and force someone to take drugs just because you think she should go out and socialize more. I have never enjoyed parties, socializing, or having friends and there are certainly other ways to have fun besides being in a relationship or around people 24/7.

 

[ti.ara]

LSD in my view is way too unpredictable to give to somebody with any kind of mental problem.
She could have a horrible trip and end up far more troubled than she is now.

I 100% agree. LSD isn't really a drug that will help a persons social life, at least not in the way she needs. Somebody with debilitating shyness on LSD, around other people could be an enormous disaster.

I would recommend MDMA, but given the fact that she is on an SSRI (and sounds like she definitely needs to stay on it) that would be pretty pointless as SSRIs almost always completely inhibit the effects of MDMA.

Over all it sounds like she should just stay on her meds and maybe try some counselling to try and work towards overcoming her shyness. I think LSD could be a disaster in this situation.

 

[n3ophy7e]

My idea was to maybe introduce her to LSD since it completely chilled my spazzy ass out after the first time I tried it, it really made me realize what was important in my life and what things were not worth worrying about.

Does anyone think this is a good idea?

I have to agree with what most people have said in here and say that I think trying to introduce her to LSD is a bad idea. Just because it helped you to open up doesn't mean that it will necessarily help her in the same way. Again, as others have said, LSD (and indeed all psychedelics) is a really unpredictable drug. When it's good, it's awesome. But when it's bad, it is fucking horrific and can have devastating, long-lasting consequences. It's just not worth it, in my opinion.

Seeing as this is a harm reduction forum, if you are hell-bent on asking her to try it, make sure she consents to it of her own free will (by which I mean don't try to overly persuade her), and just try her on a really small dose to begin with. And I'm talking like a 1/4 tab. Stay sober yourself so you can assist her if her trip starts to go bad, and perhaps even have a small amount of benzos on hand in case she panics.

Please think this through carefully. As you can see by people's responses, it might not be worth considering at all. You said that you don't want her to try a drug as "serious" as morphine or methadone in order to decrease social inhibitions, but really, LSD is just as serious a drug. Please do not underestimate its power.

The best way to overcome problems with shyness are things like counselling and exposure, i.e. forcing yourself in to social situations so you must learn to be more outgoing. It's really tough but it works. I believe that is what is going to help your girlfriend in the long run, not drugs

 

[RedRum OG]

acid and weed are bad ideas dude. they can work wonders .... for the mentally stable. there is a very high chance of her freaking the fuck out if you give her acid. stay away from psychedelics. weed is also prone to provoke paranoia and panic in inexperienced or mentally unstable people.

methadone and morphine are too hard for a newbie for sure. [Please be more careful/thoughtful with your suggestions, this is a harm reduction forum, thanks - n3o]

 

[Coolio]

Freaking the fuck out is a necessary part of the maturation process. Once you get comfortable with freaking out regularly, sober mental issues tend to seem easy to get through.

 

[Bojangles69]

In response to ZIGGY who asked someone how he conquered his fear of social situations. I can tell you how I obliterated mine.

If you want to conquer your fear of social situations I would suggest taking 2-3 years to study the art of seduction.
Learn PUA, David DeAngelo, Mystery, etc.

Learn the models and mindsets. Read NLP, get David D's Amazon book list and start reading his books 1 by 1. Get the seminars and DVDS, and most importantly go out into this world and start using what you learn.

At one point I had panic disorder, PTSD, social phobia and GAD. I was diagnosed a bunch of times but several different drs. I was barely even functioning at that point in my life.

I slowly found the community, and a couple years later opened my own lair. There is not single force in this world that has had as much positive affect on my identity as PUA has. I'm not into it any longer but the skills I learned will most likely be with me now for the rest of my life.
I no longer feel I have a single one of those "disorders" anymore. I use to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I use to not be able to walk outside thats how bad the social anxiety got at one point.

If you study venusian arts it breaksdown social dynamics into a sciece that makes it VERY easy to comprehend. You DO have to put in the workhowever. But it was one of the most profound changes I ever made with my life.
I think anyone can have similar or better results.

 

[Mr_Fluffykins]

whats wrong with being shy, the human race is sometimes a horrible thing

edit: that was more directed zyggy

 

[Moguta]

If she's shy and afraid of meeting people she could have a problem with social anxiety in which case LSD might not be the best thing - I know that I've recently developed pretty intense anxiety and had some acid at a party the other day and freaked out about the people I was around. Had a fully fledged anxiety attack which wasn't nice.

As mentioned above as well - Drugs as a means of fixing or improving your life will ultimately not work at all. My life is in tatters and it all started with smoking heaps of pot and an acid trip years ago. Every drug except H later and I've lost nearly everything that was important to me - each new drug you experience is the perfect stepping stone to the next, slightly harder drug, unfortunately.

If you want her to come out of her shell I'd recommend a half an E over an acid tab any day but hey that's just me...

 

[molly897]

i have BPD and i dont like tripping cause im not in control. i never had any bad experiences but if i wasnt already aware i wasnt gonna be in control, i'd have freaked out full blown panic attack probably. last time i ate those suckers was in january

i agree with above poster. Molly was my first ~real~ drug. but i got addicted to it so i don't really know what to say about that. it was great though