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Should I tell my doc I'm an addict? knipping opiate addiction in the bud

bennyZA

bennyZA

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Joined
Apr 19, 2009
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A little cutty cove in the Northern Pacific.
right now I'm in a very dark period in my life... Some great things have happened to me (my parents are paying my rent for a year because I graduated college, I got into a great grad school), and some not so great things have happened to me (I've lost a lot of friends from moving across the country, I was diagnosed with a very severe illness, and I broke my knee and both shoulders, all requiring surgery). Unfortunately the "not so great things" have out weighed the "great things" 10 to 1 (in my head).

However, because of the surgeries I've been getting 90 10/325 norco's every 2 weeks. I usually kill that bottle in three days (that's 300mg a night, people!) and on day 1.5 I stop CWE because I'm two f'ed up to care (honestly, I'm surprised I'm not dead from an OD or APAP poisoning). Also, since I switched to Kaiser 2 months ago, I've manipulated them to up the norco 3 times, prescribe me codeine/promethazine, and dilaudid.

Basically what it comes down to is this: Does anyone know if Kaiser does Bupe? or do they just cut you off you pain meds and try "mind/body" crap that doesn't work. Will Kaiser send me to rehab, even if I don't use everyday (I use once every 2 weeks, do they reserve bupe for hardcore addicts?)

Should I try and scrape up my remaining cash and go on a bupe regimen with a private doc or should I just stay the course and see what happens.

Im scared my parents will find out, I'm scared that kaiser will red flag me as an addict, im scared I will be forced into 12-step treatment, but I'm also scared I will become a junky
 
if they still prescribing u stuff why dont u just taper down on it strech it out as long as u can then only use it when u got pain ..if u taper u will be able to stop easier and from what u said u must still have some pain ...and if u use once every 2 weeks u really shouldnt need bupe... i wouldnt even think u would have much w/d ?
 
About 2-3 days after taking my meds, I will experience mild/moderate w/d. One of the problems with your suggestion is that I don't have the mental capacity to taper by myself, and I really don't have anyone I can have help me taper (no friends, can't trust parents, etc.)
 
you should check into treatment. you've got a potentially very serious problem. you will need help.

i know its scary, but i would (and i personally have) tell the parents.

no one's going to force you into doing anything. but you're walking a very fine line between desperation and death, in my opinion.

you might be pleasantly surprised how supportive treatment facilities are. even the ones in hospitals.
 
i think he still has a chance to beat it on his own if he only has mild withdrawals a few days later(Only uses once every 2 weeks). and he says he cant taper cuz he wont be able to do it .(fear of over doing it again i guess)


just tell your doctor u wanna be take off all the meds and maybe just give u a small script of a few pills to taper or even just tell him u done totally that way u want have it and u can go the 2 or 3 days with the mild withdrawal and be ok.. and if that dont work u should try other things..

you just gotta make your mind up that u wanna stop and tell yourself that and u can do it
 
Benny .... I can help you but because you are a greenlighter we cant PM. Hurry up and post! lol.

I have insider information I can share with you but need more details.
 
bennyZA said:
You can't pm me?
Click to expand...

we're "greenlighters", basically the "I'm new [to posting] here" kind of status. You've gotta have a certain number of posts before you get the ability to PM. It sucks, but it's a good way to avoid getting spammed or flamed by random people, etc..

Hope that helps; you're way ahead of me! :P
 
Hi benny,

When I quit I told all my doctors. Later I regretted it, when I was trying to get high of course. But it effectively has helped me quit and stay stopped, though I was never in pain management or getting a steady supply like you are. I cursed myself many times for telling on myself but it definitely was the right thing to do.
 
I saw my doc today. I did ask for something more powerful because I'm starting PT on a Bankart procedure which takes about 6-12 months to recover from. I've had to do this on my other arm before and it was 2 years ago, and I'm still in pain.

That being said, I told him that I wanted to make a plan: aggressively taper down after a month of stronger meds, and I told my doc that I want to stick to it no matter what. I used as many laymens terms as possible (i.e. I don't like feeling loopy as opposed to saying "I don't want the intoxication that comes with a full mu opiate agonist) that way he wouldn't suspect that I have deep knowledge of these meds.

I think he is beginning to get suspicious but I did tell him I really don't want to go on stronger meds, but I am in pain. And like I already said I told him I only want to be on pain meds for a short time so we need an aggressive taper after we try something stronger.

Does anyone have any other suggestions to help me taper and finally stop. I want to keep myself on the taper and finally stop. I also want to stop craving. Any suggestions help
 
What did he say to that? How did he react? Pain management might be an option. I had a good experience with them and keeping my meds under control.
 
I would highly recomend asking your doctor for tramadol. That's what I was given when I was in inpatient rehab and it worked wonders taking away opiate withdrawal, without giving you much of a buzz to get addicted to. It also does a bit more for pain than Asprin or other NSAID's(not positive of acronym)

This does not mean you can't get addicted to tramadol. I currently am. It has a withdrawal that is similar to harder opiate withdrawal, not as intense but lasts longer. It also has an SSRI withdrawal, not fun.

I think you would have a much better chance of getting your doctor to prescribe Tramadol than anything else for opiate withdrawal. Even if he refuses there are other ways of getting a tramadol prescription. It is not a controlled substance in many states and can easily be obtained with a little online research.

Let me know if I can be of anymore assistance. Best of luck friend.
 
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I can't take tramadol because I have a seizure disorder.

What ended up happening is the doctor is going to prescribe me morphine ER and percocet for breakthrough pain (like I said, I am in serious pain, but I do use that fact to get me better and more pills). However, we have agreed that this morphine + perc regimen will only be sustained for 3 months, if that. After those 3 months, I'm to titrate to zero opiates within another 3 months. We agreed to that plan, and to stick too it, because that should be more than enough to cover the pain.

I also asked my neighbor who I've known for awhile, but I'm not close with, to hold on to the pills for me and just give me my daily dosage every morning before he goes to work. Really nice of him, because it is a pretty big responsibility on his part.

I have to have confidence in myself. I have to stay positive that I will EAT the morphine and not snort it and that I will take percocets only when i have to, but I will keep you posted.

Please, any words of encouragement, and tips and tricks to avoid that temptation to rail the morphine, anything at all. You guys have been great, please continue to help.:)
 
you were honest with your doc, you went in with a plan, got consensus with a doc, got pretty good pain meds (decent tradeoff of effectiveness vs scrutiny you'd have to endure for OCs or fent).

i agree that a pain management program would be an effective adjunct to this: counseling, cognitive therapy, biofeedback, p-doc and probably medicinal treatment for stress/anxiety/depression that virtually ALWAYS accompany traumatic injury or pain.

basically, you've made wise choices, you've made reasonable commitments, and you've asked others for help.

in my experience, short of living in an assisted living facility, you're doing the absolute best you can. in terms of encouragement, take heart that when it feels the worst (cravings, wd's, whatever) and you don't give in that that is a HUGE VICTORY, but only because you've laid such a strong foundation. so, when it gets tough remember that you are actively fighting for your own welfare. You're worth living for.

tips to avoid compulsions? phone calls. call a friend or family member and tell them you're feeling tempted. i find that personally very hard to do, but every time i've done that, i've wound up not using and felt WAY better about myself.
 
I'm really worried I'm gonna crush up the morph though. That's my biggest concern. I'm going to try and not beat myself up if I do... but if i am able to stick to eating the pill, even once, I'm going to consider it a feat, a huge victory.
 
your insurance does not prescribe any form of oxy's. Did they put you on Avinza? Ugh dude email me its so much easier. I can get you going in the right direction. I just need to be able to communitcate with you. You have my email.
 
Morphine is really not a fun drug at all unless you have an unlimited supply of it which you don't. It takes A LOT of it to get any type of high from imo. When I first got it I was like "oh yeh this is the mother opiate I'm getting high as a kite off like 30mg". Then I wound up taking something like 270mg for my first dose, and the high was not anything like I was expecting. I went through it all I think in 6 days, 3 bottles full of it (the liquid morphine). So what I see happening is maybe you pick up your pills, take 1. An hour later don't feel much relief, take another, 15mins later say "well I already took 2 might as well take 3". And if you start chasing a high at all you could potentially wind up using all your pills in a matter of days. Don't expect to FEEL HIGH from the dose the dr has prescribed you. Its more than likely you will not. And even by doubling/tripling/quadrupling I still doubt you'll have much fun on those types of morph pills.

I'm telling you try to view the morphine more like an NSAID or something because especially the ER version you're not getting high from. Even if you try pluggin it would just gel up in your ass and release slowly. And it seems like you're self sabatoging yourself already with the fear of abusing them.

JUST STOP IT. STOP THINKING THAT WAY lol. I mean I know what its like and all but you have any idea how good the high from exercising self control feels? Now thats a high I like. Chase that high instead, seriously.
You really need to stop thinking about it though. If you can't get out of that OCD mode "I'm gonng use, I'm gonna use" then likely, you're going to use (use as in take more than you should). Chill out, have faith in yourself, and if you fuck up well at least you'll know now for the future. Its really a learning experience no matter how you look at it. You're learning about yourself, so take a deep breath - and try to not abuse the meds. I'm telling you its not going to fun anyway.
 
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