Ill just get to the point. Im 17 years old, I smoke weed daily and consume LSD regularly. I've been depressed for about 2 years now, LSD helped me through this especially when I came out to my muslim parents that I was an atheist. The depression has always been in intervals, some would say bipolar but the space between them is too long(or maybe not). For the past few months suicidal thoughts became something I think about at least once a day, I've all ways managed to shrug it off except till today. I went to the bath room and just cried. I dont know why but it let some of the pain out, I can't imagine the last time I actually properly cried like this. I dont really know what to do man. I've been feeling defeat, insignificant. I know human consciousness is gift and I want to cherish it. But at the same time I don't want to exist, I'm sad, I dont know what to do with my life. Ive never talked to anybody about this. I just feel like shit man. like nothing i do matters. like anything anybody does matters, whats the fucking point, where do i go. and theres the side of me that shuns me for my self pity and it works for a while and I would forget about it, I wouldnt feel sad. But then it'd just build up. This post was only meant to be a few sentences long, 3 or 4 maybe. Just because Ive never cried like that before, it was out of nowhere, and what i thought was a problem that i could shrug off is getting the better of me.
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Mental Health Should I find help
- Thread starter Teyeb
- Start date
Trying2Iso
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- Oct 22, 2013
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I was there when i was 16 and 17 man, it's a tough age. When things get that bad it's good to take a break from drugs for a while to retrain yourself to find pleasure in other things butt
you sound really depressed right now and i'd recommend asking your parents to get you a counselor and/or psychiatrist, Bipolar people need to have mood stabilizers because it is an illness that they have no control over...
Lithium is pretty good altho it's usually not given to suicidal patients because it is easy to overdose on, but Depakote (divalproex sodium) is equally effective and safer...
Lamotrigine is the BEST mood stabilizer for Bipolar depression tho, i would highly recommend it.
it takes 8 weeks to finish the starter kit but you will see results.
if you are suicidal you should talk to a trusted friend tho, it is always good to have face to face with someone who knows you well.
tbh i have been suicidal many times in the past it is something that comes with great intensity for me then disappears for weeks, if you ride it out while getting help you may find it goes away and when it starts creeping back into your mind confide again.
when you freak out try watching a movie that makes you feel really good or that you are a diehard fan of or listen to your favorite band, for me thats Oldboy 2003, and Blink-182, respectively.
you sound really depressed right now and i'd recommend asking your parents to get you a counselor and/or psychiatrist, Bipolar people need to have mood stabilizers because it is an illness that they have no control over...
Lithium is pretty good altho it's usually not given to suicidal patients because it is easy to overdose on, but Depakote (divalproex sodium) is equally effective and safer...
Lamotrigine is the BEST mood stabilizer for Bipolar depression tho, i would highly recommend it.
it takes 8 weeks to finish the starter kit but you will see results.
if you are suicidal you should talk to a trusted friend tho, it is always good to have face to face with someone who knows you well.
tbh i have been suicidal many times in the past it is something that comes with great intensity for me then disappears for weeks, if you ride it out while getting help you may find it goes away and when it starts creeping back into your mind confide again.
when you freak out try watching a movie that makes you feel really good or that you are a diehard fan of or listen to your favorite band, for me thats Oldboy 2003, and Blink-182, respectively.
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
That's where I stopped reading.
Answer? YES.
What are you doing besides drugs to help improve your depression?
I would with out a doubt be speaking to a mental health provider. I see one every week and having someone who I can just talk to about anything and everything and run ideas through is invaluable. Mine has really helped get my life back on track and get me to a place where I am fully functioning again. I wish I did this when I was your age and didn't wait until things hit the bottom of all rock bottoms at 36.
A psychiatrist is great but just remember their job is to prescribe drugs which in your case you might just need, but a psychologist is a talking doctor who can spend time just talking about things and helping you make clarity of the mess that is in your head. I see both and the combination works great, but you might find that seeing a psychologist first is the better route as you may not need drugs to get you back up and living again.
SixBuckets
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- Jan 21, 2015
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That's like saying a GP's job is to prescribe drugs. A good psychiatrist will only prescribe drugs if they think you need them.
Thats true, rereading I was not clear on what I was intending to say. Yes they will only prescribe drugs if you need them and a good one will only prescribe the minimum required also. What I was trying to say, is that in most cases a psychiatrist alone is not an ideal solution as their training is normally in medications and not in other therapies such as CBT for example. So only seeing a psychiatrist is part of the picture. That in most cases working with a psychologist also who has training in talking and other therapies like CBT and having a good psychiatrist who if required can prescribe you some drugs to also is in most cases a ideal mix to get you on the road to recovery.
most people go through the same shit at that age, its the age where your forming your identity and finding what your passionate about, still developing.
if you suspect you are bi polar, taking lsd and smoking weed is the last thing you should be doing. i smoked alot too at that age and it really does stunt your emotional growth and messes with your head.
im not too sure if its just teen angst or a legitimate psychiatric disorder, talking to a doctor may help or even a therapist.
if you suspect you are bi polar, taking lsd and smoking weed is the last thing you should be doing. i smoked alot too at that age and it really does stunt your emotional growth and messes with your head.
im not too sure if its just teen angst or a legitimate psychiatric disorder, talking to a doctor may help or even a therapist.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Teyeb, it must have been quite traumatic to come out to your parents about being an atheist. It is difficult (but natural) to separate from your parents mentally at your age but when you disagree on a world-view or religious belief it can be even more hurtful all around. I would imagine that may have a lot to do with how you are feeling and finding a therapist or any trusted adult outside of your immediate family to talk to would really help you. Just remember that life and family relationships are long and usually very forgiving of things that may have once seemed to be insurmountable.
Doing psychedelics frequently is not really necessary. Take the wisdom and consciousness that they gave you and integrate it into your life. Right now, when you are worried about your mental health, when you are under all the stress of not being in harmony with your family and especially since you are feeling depressed to the point of suicidal feelings, you should really be letting your brain heal. Take care of your most basic needs: eat right, get sleep, and exercise every day. And do find a counselor; it would really help you to have a safe place to discuss your fears and the roots of your sadness.
In some ways the sadness you feel is one of the brutal gifts of adolescence. You wake up, you open your eyes and you no longer can see the world as it was painted for you by your parents and teachers. You see it in all its meaninglessness and that can be terrifying. But this IMO is a necessary awakening for any thinking person. Once you see through the surface film that has been handed to you by the adult world, you are free to construct meaning for yourself. You can find meaning in nature, through relationships that are built on compassion and mutual care, you can begin to study what really interests you and not what someone told you you should be interested in. It's a scary time, but a powerful time. I say this now, having gone through it myself, having watched my own children go through it, my students and many other young people in my life. Don't let it terrify you and don't turn it inward on yourself. You will find comfort and love in the world when you find comfort and love in yourself--that's were it always has to start. Take care of your mind and your body.
Doing psychedelics frequently is not really necessary. Take the wisdom and consciousness that they gave you and integrate it into your life. Right now, when you are worried about your mental health, when you are under all the stress of not being in harmony with your family and especially since you are feeling depressed to the point of suicidal feelings, you should really be letting your brain heal. Take care of your most basic needs: eat right, get sleep, and exercise every day. And do find a counselor; it would really help you to have a safe place to discuss your fears and the roots of your sadness.
In some ways the sadness you feel is one of the brutal gifts of adolescence. You wake up, you open your eyes and you no longer can see the world as it was painted for you by your parents and teachers. You see it in all its meaninglessness and that can be terrifying. But this IMO is a necessary awakening for any thinking person. Once you see through the surface film that has been handed to you by the adult world, you are free to construct meaning for yourself. You can find meaning in nature, through relationships that are built on compassion and mutual care, you can begin to study what really interests you and not what someone told you you should be interested in. It's a scary time, but a powerful time. I say this now, having gone through it myself, having watched my own children go through it, my students and many other young people in my life. Don't let it terrify you and don't turn it inward on yourself. You will find comfort and love in the world when you find comfort and love in yourself--that's were it always has to start. Take care of your mind and your body.