Mental Health Shits rough & not getting better

[siipirikko]

Shits rough & it's not getting better. I tried to off myself a bit over a week ago, and it got me feeling a ton of unsettling shit. Obviously it didn't work, but i must have had some sort of a seizure/episode/something (can't remember shit), because i couldn't walk the next morning. Sucks btw, learning how to walk again & throwing up every time u move ur head slightly while ur family is home &looking at you weird.

My healt is fine now ig, walking stuff went by, fine motor skilld didn't work for a bit but that went away too, pissed bloody for a bit but same thing. Never got checked out, kinda wishing there's some severe damage that could somehow take me out soon w/o having to try again.

I rly don't know what to do, my family doesn't seem to care. I mean, my sister tried to off herself last winter, my mom got mad at me for questioning what's going on since no one told me, and then said i'm just selfish when i jokingly mentioned that suicide isn't rly that unseen in this family (before i knew what happened). My sister got therapy, help for her anorexia, everything, i got dishes thrown at me for having depression. No one said anything when i couldn't walk for a day. I can't sleep because the thought of offing myself gets louder & louder every day. Idk if i even want to get better at this point. No matter how many psychosis or years of eating disorders i go thru, none of it matters.

 

[deficiT]

Shits rough & it's not getting better. I tried to off myself a bit over a week ago, and it got me feeling a ton of unsettling shit. Obviously it didn't work, but i must have had some sort of a seizure/episode/something (can't remember shit), because i couldn't walk the next morning. Sucks btw, learning how to walk again & throwing up every time u move ur head slightly while ur family is home &looking at you weird.

My healt is fine now ig, walking stuff went by, fine motor skilld didn't work for a bit but that went away too, pissed bloody for a bit but same thing. Never got checked out, kinda wishing there's some severe damage that could somehow take me out soon w/o having to try again.

I rly don't know what to do, my family doesn't seem to care. I mean, my sister tried to off herself last winter, my mom got mad at me for questioning what's going on since no one told me, and then said i'm just selfish when i jokingly mentioned that suicide isn't rly that unseen in this family (before i knew what happened). My sister got therapy, help for her anorexia, everything, i got dishes thrown at me for having depression. No one said anything when i couldn't walk for a day. I can't sleep because the thought of offing myself gets louder & louder every day. Idk if i even want to get better at this point. No matter how many psychosis or years of eating disorders i go thru, none of it matters.

That does sound rough, and your feelings are valid. I hope you are able to reach out to someone when in a crisis like that. I've woken up many times, not sure why I was alive or how I got there, but I found after some time went by, I was grateful I did wake up. I'm hoping you find yourself in a similar place. Reach out anytime.

 

[paranoid android]

You need to see a doctor if your pissing blood. Do you have depression? If you do there are alot of options out there now that actually work such as ketamine and psychedelics. I can say from my own experience that both are great for lifting mood. I took s ketamine and it was literally life changing.

Dont give up nothing is worth dying over.

 

[endlessnameless]

I'm very sorry to hear of your story. Its similar to mine in ways. I've had major depression since I was 13 and I am now 37. It has severely impacted my life to an extreme detrement, however I have decided to pursue talk therapy again. I have gone the medication route before trying everything they threw at me out of the DSM-V and for six entire years and nothing put a dent in it so I am willing to go and try talk therapy and my GP is currently making arrangements for me.

Have you tried seeing a professional about it? Please seek help my friend, dont lose a chunk of your life to this affliction like I did. You can message me any time you please if you want to continue with a conversation about it, I completely empathise with your situation. Please feel free to reach out and I really mean this. You dont have to go on like this @siipirikko Things have changed and there are new medications out there. I myself have tried medications years ago and for me they didnt work but thats just me, but Ketamine is now availible and that peaks my interest quite a bit.

You need to see a doctor if your pissing blood. Do you have depression? If you do there are alot of options out there now that actually work such as ketamine and psychedelics. I can say from my own experience that both are great for lifting mood. I took s ketamine and it was literally life changing.

Dont give up nothing is worth dying over.

Sorry if I seem like I'm hijacking the thread but OP may be interested in the answer also - the only medication I would be willing to try again would be Ketamine. Do you know of any solid, trustworthy information I read about it? Thank you for reminding me about it, I just noticed it by absolute chance.

 

[endlessnameless]

I couldn't find anything by searching the site so I'll make separate thread as evidently this ones dead.

OP - The offer is still open for you to message me if you need someone to confide in. Please don't go this alone.