dragonix
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2021
- Messages
- 1,338
I feel tremendous shame since trying to get a sponsor who has ordered me to only attend his homegroup from now on and tell him everything I am planning in my life like I view him as someone I trust to make all my life choices for me what?
I think it is dreadful. It feels awful. Yet I don't know what else to do. See someone? An addiction specialist? Keep pushing because he is making be more social at these meetings and I have been drinking and taking drugs like I get paid to but honestly waste all my income on them for the most part?
I have been quite honest with him so far. Completely I would say. Except for telling him I kind of don't want to keep going to his homegroup which would mean he is no longer my sponsor.
I have found two solutions (won't name them not here to market) I want to explore one a sobriety coach for drinking and another a doctor who runs a poly recovery community & program if the 12 Step doctrine or rather way the adherents of it want to me to live makes me snap sooner than I anticipate and I truly don't see myself spending much longer in a building with cigarettes being smoked for hours in my face.
Certainly I value Mencius and agree to live without shame is to be shameless indeed and I don't want that because it can hurt others.
I want to know how shame can be seen as good for mental health I guess?
I think it is dreadful. It feels awful. Yet I don't know what else to do. See someone? An addiction specialist? Keep pushing because he is making be more social at these meetings and I have been drinking and taking drugs like I get paid to but honestly waste all my income on them for the most part?
I have been quite honest with him so far. Completely I would say. Except for telling him I kind of don't want to keep going to his homegroup which would mean he is no longer my sponsor.
I have found two solutions (won't name them not here to market) I want to explore one a sobriety coach for drinking and another a doctor who runs a poly recovery community & program if the 12 Step doctrine or rather way the adherents of it want to me to live makes me snap sooner than I anticipate and I truly don't see myself spending much longer in a building with cigarettes being smoked for hours in my face.
Certainly I value Mencius and agree to live without shame is to be shameless indeed and I don't want that because it can hurt others.
I want to know how shame can be seen as good for mental health I guess?
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