sexual frustrations

[hazeymate]

Ive been with the same guy for 4.5 years, ups and downs but overall i am happy with him. Our sex life has been decreasing tho because of me. He wants me all the time and i feel bad rejecting him often with im not in the mood or mostly im tired. Its making him sexually frustrated i know for sure but i dont know what to do. I use to just give in but i told him i dont want to fake it.
I have been feeling depressed a lot lately tho and it's making me unmotivated to do much at all. I still do the normal daily life things but without wanting to do or feeling any fulfilment. I think about sex daily with him and i want to have sex but when the time comes im back to saying no.
I need help. Is this because of my depression/unmotivation in my early day? He thinks im not sexually attracted to him anymore...and im not sure..

 

[Spicebread]

Just do it, it will make both of you feel better. Does he usually get you off? If not, find out what you need through some self exploring and let him know what you want him to start doing, fantasies you have, thing you want to try. Keep the lines of communication open not only to reassure himself and yourself, but maybe to get you to want it. Depression can lower your drive and make you less secure, feel less like you deserve it, etc. Sex may actually help your depression.

 

[pofacedhoe]

depression kills your sex drive, just talk to him and explain what the problem is

depends how depressed you are. if its severe then sex wont be something you enjoy, if its mild/medium then it might be just less enjoyable

also ssri's kill sex drive in a LOT of people

 

[hazeymate]

That makes sense. I know it will make me feel better but when i feel unattractive i cant feel sexy enough to follow through or sometimes it sounds unappealing. Hes pretty understanding and deals with depression too but has a higher sex drive than i do mostly.