• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Sex and Single life

malakaix

malakaix

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 12, 2008
Messages
3,054
For those who are single, do you have sex on a regular basis?

My sex-life has been ridiculous; and it's started to depress me. There's no consistency, i may have it 3-4 times in a month and then nothing for 6 months+. It was never a big issue until recently when i started to compare my sex-life to that of a girl i was with for a couple of months.. now i cant shake the feeling that im missing out while im still young.

The answer is obvious, but im interested in opinions of other single people?
 
I'm not single now but when I was the answer would have to be no. Same with a lot of single guys I know not regularly at all. Enjoy it when you get it.
 
single male sex life is inconsistent. I may go a couple weeks with nothing then bam everyday for a minute. Its just really about whether you're willing to do a FWB thing or random hookups more than a relationship.
 
Last edited:
Yeah, mine's pretty inconsistent as well. I've been single & sexually active for the first time in my life since last april when I came out of an almost 3 year relationship, except for a few weeks this summer. After the break-up I actually didn't have sex until I met that other guy in july, but after that ended I had hook-ups pretty regularly from august to end of october - and I haven't actually had sex since Halloween. More by choice than anything else though, I realized I really don't like random meaningless sex. I'd rather not get any until I meet someone else I like :)

I don't think you should feel like you're missing out. It really depends on the person IMO. My two best friends will go out and have sex with random people at least once a week but I'd personally hate myself if I did that. In fact, one of them regularly complains to me how disgusted she is with herself. She really does it out of a need for validation tbh.
Also the 'single sex' I've had so far has always been pretty bad. Maybe I've just been unlucky, but I think it just loses so much if you're not connecting with the person.
But well, if you feel like you're missing out just go get wasted at a club and you're bound to find someone :P
 
I don't have much to say from first hand experience, as I haven't been single since I became sexually active. But, why not try a friends with benefits type relationship if you aren't looking for a relationship?
 
Almost none. People my age seem to be in long term relationships or getting married and those who aren't are "focusing" on their "careers".... whatever the fuck that means.

I don't miss it though. Sex with my ex was bad (she came out as a lesbien during/after our break up), as was the sex with the randoms I met before her. Plus I don't want to catch anything.

Its all about expectations... if you have them you're probably not going to be happy.
 
Last edited:
I'm in an LTR now but when I was single, getting laid was not a problem. TBH though making sex a priority takes energy and time that I often want to channel into other things, which is why it might seem like a lot of time has passed.

I don't really think you're missing out and wasting your youth. I've been with guys in their 40's and they are still rearing to go. If anything, sex becomes less of a priority so you don't have to sit around agonizing about how you aren't getting any. Intimacy with younger guys can be so unfocused... they are just pure active energy which can be fun but if you want to explore more refined acts it's harder. It's why I usually prefer older men.
 
yeah irregular sex is kind of part of being single.

I've been single for about 5 months now and the sex has been sporadic. Had about 5 partners since breaking up. So about one a month.

other times when I was single I have gone through a dry spell of like 6 months, to sleeping with a different woman every weekend for about a month, to sleeping with almost 20 girls whilst I was travelling.

It just ebbs and flows man. All you can do is just keep getting out there and trying to meet women. Sometimes you won't have any luck for ages, other times you might have a fuck buddy for a month or more, sometimes you'll hook up with someone most times you go out. Maybe you might even meet a new partner. Its all real luck of the draw. Just don't get too down about it. Its not like your never going to have sex again. When it happens it happens
 
Pagey said:
I'd rather not get any until I meet someone else I like :)
Click to expand...

Yeah this has been my mentality for some time, hard to follow through with sex if i dont like the person.

nooneanymore said:
Almost none. People my age seem to be in long term relationships or getting married and those who aren't are "focusing" on their "careers".... whatever the fuck that means.
Click to expand...

Yeah, same situation here.

Foreigner said:
TBH though making sex a priority takes energy and time
Click to expand...

Your right, it does take a lot of energy and time.. i've always been relaxed about it. If it happened it happened, if not it didn't matter.. it was never a major priority, but i guess now im viewing it differently. I guess a change in attitude is all it could take to have it occur on a more regular basis..

Well i appreciate the responses. Its been 3 months, so its started to bother me but i guess it can change
 
6 months without any is not unusual at all among most of my single friends.

I like psytacos point. Go travelling. Seems like a sure fire way to meet more up for it ladies.
 
malakaix said:
For those who are single, do you have sex on a regular basis?

My sex-life has been ridiculous; and it's started to depress me. There's no consistency, i may have it 3-4 times in a month and then nothing for 6 months+. It was never a big issue until recently when i started to compare my sex-life to that of a girl i was with for a couple of months.. now i cant shake the feeling that im missing out while im still young.

The answer is obvious, but im interested in opinions of other single people?
Click to expand...

Off and on, and I think that's normal for single people. I went through like a 3 year dry spell where I had sex occasionally. I didn't have sex for about 1.5 of those years at all. That was when I freelanced and didn't get out much, but now that I've worked on me and gotten back into corporate, I get tons of offers. lol That isn't to sound conceited. I'm just surprised at the amount of men approaching me. It's more than before freelancing and college and when I was younger. I love it personally, but the one thing I have to realize is that most of these boys aren't serious. They just want to fuck me. It's within my control if I am OK with that, which feels empowering, but that's the hard part. There could be 10 guys who just want to fuck me, but that's shit in my world, because I want a relationship.

It all depends on what you want. If you just want sex, there are a lot of prospects. If you want something serious, it limits it a lot more, but to me it's more quality than quantity. But hey, if only sex is what you want, then you just have to hit on everything and the law of averages says one of those attempts will equal a win for you.
 
I haven't been in a relationship in about a year and a half now and the sex life is... not so great. I feel like I traded sex everyday to drugs everyday which was probably an unhealthy decision in a lot of ways. Still though, I've only been in a few relationships in my life and none have lasted more than a few months. I don't know if it's me who sucks at relationships or the fact that I pick the wrong girls.

After my last relationship I was having sex with random girls I barely knew and I learned that I don't like meaningless sex. I just don't put in that extra effort. To me, I like sex in a relationship way more. That being said, I'm totally okay staying single until I meet the right girl and having sex every now and then. I try not to think too much about it all. The single life really isn't so bad...
 
When im single I don't really have much sex, probably because when I'm single im completely preoccupied with getting high, working and going to school.

I don't know if this is a common trait of drug users but I find that meaningless sex is just another feel good activity so why not spend your money on a sure fire way to get yo chemical kicks?
 
soundsystem00 said:
Single sex sucks.

I like having sex with the same person over and over. That's the best sex IMO because you learn each other.
Click to expand...

Definitely.

I think there is one advantage to single sex though (I can only find one though tbh...it's just not for me): since you're never gonna see the person again, you can ask them to fulfill whatever weird fantasies you may have since you don't give a fuck if they'll judge you for it =D
 
malakai, I think what you are describing sounds normal? At least I would like to think so, based on my own life which is not terribly exciting because I'm 'sort of' in a relationship. When I'm single, I gravitate towards someone I trust like a good friend and have sex with him the most often. This is daily, weekly, whenever it feels right. I can go 6 months if it comes to that, but I am told "girls are like sexual camels" (lol), so I don't think it's something to worry too much about.
 
9 months for me (I think?) & that is by choice. If you want to hook up with randoms there are plenty out there just go looking. I am in my mid 30's & yeah it does suck but I could not in good conscience inflict myself on a unsuspecting woman. I want meaningful sex these days but that could be part of the ageing process as 10 years ago I would shag at the drop of a hat (or skirt).

There is some great advice in this thread but if you really want sex that badly there is no shame in going to a brothel. It is purely a financial exchange with no emotion attached which can be a great release.
 
I can relate to your post a lot. I am 25 and have not stuck my phallus in a dame for literally a couple years and haven't had my peter pan whistle blew since even longer. It is very depressing - not because I'm horny or something and want pussy bad - but because I feel like these are my final years where I should be getting more pussy. I feel like my youth was wasted being a hermit and a pathetic lose and lifelong underachiever. I think I'm ugly but not that ugly. I mainly don't get any pussy because I'm anti-social and barely leave the house due to my very severe mental illness.

I'm moving out of this town to a larger city where I hope to start from scratch and proper with the pussy.


I'm curious how old you are too? You're still getting laid way more often than me so be happy about that lol
 
Popular idea suggests that single people have more interesting, loving and numerous sex than married people. Is this right? Sex surveys constantly show that married people have more sex than single people. One could conclude that, this truth alone, settles the question. Presumably, if you are having more sex, it must be because you are finding sex more gratifying. Therefore, the belief that sex deteriorates after marriage is a legend.
HPV Friends
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top