Scared of cocaine

[SilentRoller]

I know the title sounds strange but hear me out.

I've used cocaine here and there over the years but not very often. It's never really been my DOC, as I struggle to enjoy it. Partly because in the back of my mind I know how bad it is for you, and I always have this worry of having an arrhythmia any second (I have no heart conditions).

Fast forward to a few days ago, after a few beers the opportunity came up to purchase an 8 ball super cheap, because the person who had it was moving country for a new job. It was probably the beer, but I thought fuck it and bought it. So today, I wake up and decide to have a couple of lines throughout the day. Must have done about .2/.3 MAX and had no problem drawing a line under it for the evening. The problem is, I can't help but have this feeling I have made an awful mistake. What I mean is, I've never owned this amount of cocaine before, and I suppose my biggest worry is developing an addiction. Normally I only ever have on me the amount of coke I plan to use, and it lasts me ages (a gram lasts me 3/4 days). Is it possible to use cocaine responsibly, or is it just a lie that people tell themselves? The promise I have made myself is that if I start using it daily, it goes down the toilet. I have no problem with flushing drugs.

Could someone experienced with coke help put things in perspective? I'm not looking for someone to tell me coke is healthy because I know it isn't. But I struggle to shake the worry of heart damage, even though I have mates (one of them is addicted), that has smashed coke for years and is still alive. He laughs at me when I talk about my heart and coke etc. I never drink alcohol with cocaine as I'm aware of the risks of cocaethylene which is not something I want to dice with.

TLDR: Bought an 8 ball of cocaine, now wigging out wondering if coke will kill me any second.....My aim is to have a baggie of coke I can dip into every now and then. Is it really like heroin where the idea of chipping is just an ideal, and everyone becomes an addict?

 

[Shady's Fox]

Remember the difference between addiction & recreation.

 

[SilentRoller]

Remember the difference between addiction & recreation

That's a very good point. So I'm assuming doing coke doesn't automatically lead to addiction then? I know this sounds like a ridiculous question, I suppose its because the only people that I knew in uni that did coke were raging coke-heads and it ruined their lives. That's the last thing I want to be, I just want to use it here and there. I just wonder if that's actually possible.....

I remember seeing a thread on here years ago about how cardiotoxic coke is...what is the best way to enjoy it? People on here obviously use it and enjoy it, without worrying about the risks of heart damage. I wish I could become like that lmao! I get this strange compulsion after a few lines to check my pulse every now and then. Very strange, doesn't happen on any other drugs!

 

[JoEhJoEh]

I is possible. i have coke-binges that last for days and when it's over - it's over. I also never felt bad the next day after a binge. Bit drowsy perhaps and headache (but the headyche comes from smoking a lot of Cigs and drinking less when I'm on Cocaine. There are a lot more substances that are "cardiotoxic". It's always up to the amount you take.

But no, you will not die from a few lines of cocaine. And if you try it or no (i guess you are an adult and can make your decisions by yourself), this is a question you have to answer to yourself.

You will not be automatically addicted, and never physically. It's a brainfucking drug, and the craving is an asshole but... no. If you are psychologically healthy enough it will not murder you and you will for sure be surprised how this drug works. Most people feel nothing the first time. A big Jay you'll feel more.

I don't know what I should tell you more - it's up to you. We're not here to decide whether anybody should take any drug or not.

JJ

 

[Jabberwocky]

You won’t develop a physical addiction. Psychologically your binding yourself to a shit drug, my advice send it to me I will discard of it and I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow please ship immediately next day air.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Yeh, an eighth shouldn't do you any harm. Just tell yourself "when it's gone its gone" and dont impulsively go and get more. Is it decent stuff? On the few occasions I've had coke this last few years it's just sketched me out.

 

[usual-suspect]

Same thing happened to me a couple of months ago, only that in my case I made several purchases on the dark web and ended with a huge amount of coke (huge for me, other people would finish my stash in a weekend). In my case I didn't worry at the beginning, and stared doing coke every other day and even 4 days in a row, which is something I never did before. So yes, the addiction was escalating and I did nothing to stop it in about one month... Now I have started to take measures for my safety and for now it's working, you can check it here:

My plan to avoid excess of cocaine use

So I use cocaine, sniff only, never IV and never ever used crack... I have been user for 20 years, very occasionally first 10 years, then a heavy user on weekends for a year or so, then another 10 years using it 2 or 3 times a year or even less. On my heavy user weekend binges I used around...

www.bluelight.org

Because you are concerned since the very beginning, I guess it would be easy for you just to hide the coke somewhere and commit to not touch it in a week, for example?

 

[SilentRoller]

Yeah it's decent stuff. It isn't top drawer pearl, probably around 75% ish. Got some benzocaine cut in there though. That being said, it is pretty strong. I've had lab tested (energy control) 92% flake in the past and I found it a bit much. Anymore than a match stick line and you are sweating like fuck. At least with this stuff you don't get super fucked really quickly.

Also, does anyone here have experience with Dihydrocodeine? Been on it for pain for the last 5 days, around 120 - 150mg a day .Last dose was this evening. I shouldn't have any problems with stopping immediately should I? I heard it is stronger than codeine so was wondering about withdrawals etc....

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I shouldn't have any problems with stopping immediately should I? I heard it is stronger than codeine so was wondering about withdrawals etc....

Depends when you're planning on stopping. Do you have to stop immediately or can you taper down rapidly?

 

[LoginNotSecure]

If you’re that worried, either sell it to recoup your money, or flush it if you can afford too. No high is worth losing your sanity for.

 

[Vastness]

Coke is terrible for you, a waste of money, and yes it is addictive and many people do get addicted but I wouldn't stress about it just yet.

So you bought a larger amount that usual, and allowed yourself a few indulgences in the daytime but didn't go overboard.

Just be aware of the addictive nature of it (which you are) and if you're not addicted, and are capable of holding onto it for a while - don't do any tomorrow, and space it out over special occasions.

Sure it's possible to use cocaine responsibly. It's possible to use any drug responsibly - although for sure, some drugs are harder to use responsibly than others. But it's my personal opinion - which may be backed up by fact that I can't be bothered to look up right now that - that lifestyle, individual psychology, genetics, and other factors play a far larger role in one's tendency to develop problem usage habits. Genetics you can't do anything about but the first 2, you definitely can.

The very fact that you are making this thread is a good sign. Maybe people would just pick it up, think wahey, and not give the addiction possibilities a second thought, whether due to cockiness, ignorance, apathy, or just extreme self-confidence in their own ability to control their actions. So you're off to a good start! Hold onto some of that substance neuroticism - it will serve you well. Be mindful of your usage. I would suggest noting down your doses so you know how much you're actually using - I use this app "MediSafe" which is not perfect but the best one I've found looking for like the drug equivalent of a food tracker app. Again, many people are super causal about their use of addictive substances, and while many of them do get away with it and would consider my advice here a little neurotic - most people just don't have any real clue what they're taking in terms of frequency of use. So make sure that you do! Knowledge here is a huge advantage.

I haven't done coke for a while now, have tried to keep it down to a few times a year, have tried to quit entirely a few times but realistically when lockdown blows over a little more I'm already loosely planning a session with a friend or 2... I don't buy so much anymore for that reason but when i was younger I used to frequently pick up 8 balls or more, and just put them somewhere reasonably hidden until a special occasion like a party or maybe just a friend coming round, when I'd break out one of the wraps (back in the day where my sources were all folder paper wraps)... and maybe another later on depending. Sometimes (not very often at all) I'd wake up and think hmm today might be a good day to do a little cocaine! It very rarely is really although the mornings are fun of course. The vast majority of the time though I have no desire to do coke alone, it is a very social drug for me and thus I don't have much problem just saving it for a social occasion. A few times last year (or was it the year before?) I was going through a kind of stressful time and a couple of nights I'd just go on a small bender myself... but I can count on one hand the amount of times this happened and I've been buying cocaine and storing it for a good few weeks or even months at a time for probably over 10 years now with of course, some fluctuations of lighter periods and heavier periods of use, but on the whole... Yeah, I've never had a problem keeping my usage in check really.


I'll just add a few minor caveats - I have for sure done cocaine on a whim - invariably when out drinking - alcohol is the destroyer of all sense and resolve, I also drink a lot less now which is probably also a contributing factor. Alcohol is another terrible shitty garbage drug that just happens to be legal so I'd advise that you cut down on that as much as possible if you are drinker.

Caveat #2 - drugs affect everyone differently, and my own experience of cocaine may be somewhat atypical. Usually after a binge - sometime into the next day maybe - it's like my body just rejects the coke and doing more only prolongs the anxious feelings and feeling of cardiac strangeness...

Of my 3 friends who I mostly used to do coke with, Friend #1 rapidly started spending all their income on coke, got kicked out of their flat, rapidly graduated to crack and shacked up with an actual crackhead (no judgement implied but this woman was not a good person), I didn't know her before she did any crack, but regardless of the cause that was the beginning of a downward spiral of a sort. He's pretty clean now I believe, has found a new partner, essentially cut off all his old friends (which was sad) and in my view is kind of stagnating in life and seems a little different to the person he once was.

Friend #2 didn't have quite as dramatic a story but eventually confessed to using a huge amount of coke almost everr day, and he was not an enjoyable person to be around a lot of the time, he would often tell me he could never hold it and would ask me to hold it for him sometimes. He's also gone up the drug mountain and fallen off the other side, so to speak, and is into the whole 12 steps thing, although he tells me he still thinks about it every day.

Friend #3, the final one from outside appearances has things together OK - and is one of my favourite people to do cocaine with - but he will, a few times a week, just pick up the most shite garbage purity street cocaine and just go on a solo all-night bender and be wiped out the next few days... usually I have to fend off a few amped up or sometimes amped up and also drunk phone calls imploring me to come over at like 3 AM to hang out and join in the (currently solo) party... I think he is dealing with some shit - aren't we all - and he is very functional, holds down a good job, etc, etc, but for me this pattern of multiple uses alone would be problematic. But, to each their own - I won't say he definitely has problem, maybe's he's absolutely fine and just likes doing his thing... Interestingly he really doesn't seem to get nearly as bad aftereffects as I do, often if we're hanging out I'll be like ah fuck man I'm going to bed at like 6 AM or something, and I have literally woken up like 6 in the afternoon to find him still sitting in my front room and just about to finish the last of the coke... I just could not do that, my body couldn't handle it I don't think.

I did have an ECG (Echocardiogram) a few years back while I was on a kind of hypochondriac health flex, and my heart was in good shape, no unexpected scarring or anything weird, which was not TOOOO surprising but I have definitely done so much cocaine before I feel like I'm just fighting off a heart attack for an hour or so... would not recommend that. I was informed also I have a slightly leaky mitral valve, which is apparently not too uncommon, in my case it is symptomless, but maaaaybe something I should bear in mind with cocaine in the future... although I fully into to limit my future sessions, no more of the multi-gram, 2 day binges of my relative youth.


I have a few other acquaintances or friends I see less often but I'll leave them out, apologies for this diatribe, I'm on a bunch of amphetamine and should really go to bed but I started typing and couldn't stop... if only I could consistently apply this to the stuff that actually earns me money. To summarise anyway,..

Track your usage, don't stress about it, and just don't use too often.

I generally have an issue with the characterisation of substances as intrinsically just super addictive, dangerous, yadda yadda... almost always this is exaggerated because of prohibitionist bias in the media - and simply unavoidable selection bias, in that unremarkable cases of responsible drug users will not make it into the news or literature. I even think this can be counterproductive because assigning too much power to the inert substance that is whatever drug you have - for me at least - feels somewhat disempowering. Just think about each coke session as a binge on a couple tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice cream or smoking like 20 cigarettes in row... I have no idea how close that comparison is as far as relative harm, but my point it... just remember it's something you need to exercise some restraint with, like you would any other unhealthy but enjoyable thing with the potential for overuse. To develop a cocaine addiction will not happen just from having it in the house, or even doing a few lines the odd morning as long as you keep it the ODD morning, not every morning or even every other morning ... try once a month or something... although actually saying that... maybe just avoid mornings... doing drugs too early in the morning doesn't usually work out that well for me, but, YMMV.


God this fucking amphetamine has glued me to the keyboard... sigh... OK, last thing now I promise.

To develop a cocaine addiction - or indeed, this goes for addiction to anything else - you need to do a lot of cocaine, frequently. If you do not use cocaine often, you will not develop a problem habit.

Don't complicate things, and try not to stress about it. Unless you do find yourself doing it all day every day for a while in which case of course do stress about it and do your best to stop ASAP, flushing everything if needed. We all have self control failures from time to time of course, but responsible drug use is a marathon that lasts a lifetime, if you trip up once or twice, pick yourself up (and by trip I mean use 2 days in a row, use it on a whim drunk, etc, etc... not pawn all your possessions for coke and put yourself at risk of homelessness... although even if you do do this you can still pick yourself up, your chances of success will just be a lot lower... ok, Captain Obvious out).

 

[SilentRoller]

Thanks for the responses everyone - I'm just going to hang on to it and not stress about it too much.

Depends when you're planning on stopping. Do you have to stop immediately or can you taper down rapidly?

Was planning on just stopping immediately. I'm not in as much pain anymore, and don't fancy continuing it (party because DHC is actually quite enjoyable). I would normally just take my 4/5 30mg tablets at once and just enjoy the lack of pain and opiate fuzz for the day. But after 4/5 days of that, I've decided I don't need them.

My question is, will DHC require a taper at that dosage? I didn't think that DHC was that strong that I would require a taper....? It says on the box 'Don't use for longer than 3 days' like they all do. So I'm only just slightly over that.

 

[SilentRoller]

^^^^Cheers for the reply. I've decided I'm just going to hang on to it. In a way I wish COVID wasn't going on because with not much to do each day, it is the worst time to possess cocaine. But I'm going to keep it to a here and there thing.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Was planning on just stopping immediately. I'm not in as much pain anymore, and don't fancy continuing it (party because DHC is actually quite enjoyable). I would normally just take my 4/5 30mg tablets at once and just enjoy the lack of pain and opiate fuzz for the day. But after 4/5 days of that, I've decided I don't need them.

My question is, will DHC require a taper at that dosage? I didn't think that DHC was that strong that I would require a taper....? It says on the box 'Don't use for longer than 3 days' like they all do. So I'm only just slightly over that.

Yeh, you should be absolutely fine just stopping after 4 or 5 days of use. It's when you get into several weeks of daily use that you may need to taper down. The warning signs are when you start to increase your dose to get the same effect. Tolerance = dependence...

 

[SilentRoller]

Tolerance = dependence..

Exactly. That's partly why I'm stopping. On day 1, 120mg at once would get me absolutely melted, but yesterday 150mg gave me a slight buzz. I had no idea tolerance builds so quickly with opiates. How long does it take for it to reset roughly? I still have a box left but won't be touching them for a few weeks. I can see how people become hooked on them. I even felt like a bit of a junkie yesterday. After a few lines of coke, did my 150mg DHC.....pseudo speedball lmao!

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Exactly. That's partly why I'm stopping. On day 1, 120mg at once would get me absolutely melted, but yesterday 150mg gave me a slight buzz. I had no idea tolerance builds so quickly with opiates. How long does it take for it to reset roughly? I still have a box left but won't be touching them for a few weeks. I can see how people become hooked on them. I even felt like a bit of a junkie yesterday. After a few lines of coke, did my 150mg DHC.....pseudo speedball lmao!

Give it a week or two and your tolerance should be back to baseline mate. The longer you use daily the longer it will take to reset. Anything over three days and tolerance will kick in (hence the advice on the packet). If it's any consolation, I've just finished a month long stint of daily morphine use and escaped relatively unscathed...

 

[Wolfsangel 88]

Scared of cocaine?

Puff.

 

[SilentRoller]

Interesting thing I've noticed. Cocaine cravings the day after using are at their strongest, but if you can simply forget about them they disappear on day 2. For me anyway. This is normally why I only buy the amount of cocaine I intend to use. That way no cravings.

Shared a gram of absolute bash with a mate at the start of the week, simply because he brought it round. Was awful, can't have been more than 30% cocaine. Darkweb stuff is where its at!

Had a momentary thought earlier on about whipping out the 8 ball, but am so stoned and tired I literally can't be bothered. Plus the fact that when you start properly, it's an endless merry-go-round of going back for more until you draw a line under it. Gets a bit tiresome.

 

[Vastness]

I think you just broke the record for the longest post on these forums! Lol!

But a VERY good and well thought out response to the OP.

Haha thanks and yeah, bloody amphetamine makes me incapable of being concise and to the point about anything. I'm gonna try hard not to make this post another life story though.


And yes OP, street cocaine most places as far as I'm aware except maybe Bolivia or something is notoriously impure and often cut with milder actives. It's not quite as bad a situation as the state of speed as far as rampant dire quality, but without getting all holier than thou about cocaine quality I've known a few people who are so used to doing shite street cocaine from dealers who redefine the gram to be around 700mg, including the wrap even, that when faced with actual good cocaine they don't even like it. Actually Friend #2 I mentioned above was really obnoxiously adamant about how well he knew cocaine and his idea of what's good was totally backwards. In actual fact he might've been a speed or ephedrine addict unknowingly, or whatever it is those amoral cunts think is smart to cut perfectly good cocaine with somewhere down the supply chain.

Also a good idea to only buy what you intend to use. For a long time, I had a philosophy that I never wanted to find myself out of drugs - so I would always buy extra, like more than I could even do in a night. At the time I was younger and my brain was fresher and I was just mystified by the fact that my friends somehow always under-purchased their drugs and then you'd have that grinding shitness when it all runs out at the end of the night, and often even everyone calling round with a retrospectively highly unglamorous desperation seeing if any dealers were around at like 5 in the morning, which obviously they never were. Simple solution, I thought... just buy enough drugs so that you don't run out. Nowadays though I've realised the flaws in that mode of thinking having been less able to control my usage of both cocaine and ketamine than I would have liked.

...Whoops, almost getting on another stim-fuelled spiel, that'll be enough babbling from me.

 

[SilentRoller]

Also a good idea to only buy what you intend to use.

That has always been my motto. And I sort of wish I had stuck to it. Previously I would by max a g (usually a half g) and consume it until it was gone over a few days. Then once it ran out, I could relax and that would be me for a few months at least.

Problem is, I've picked up an 8 ball. This means it is a test of my willpower. Like I said, I shared a gram of bash with a mate earlier in the week, and had a couple lines of this 8 ball yesterday. This is already more cocaine consumption that I would ever do. I have two (well three options)

1. Just start on the 8 ball, and continue sniffing coke for the next couple of days. But that would be 5 days on the coke and I'm not sure I would survive.
2. Stash the 8 ball away which is my plan, and chip into it in a couple of weekends time.
3. Flush the 8 ball down the toilet so I don't have to worry about it.

I rather not do option 3, but I would if I felt I needed to. Thank god I'm feeling tired today (probably from Wednesday's bash consumption) because that has taken away the desire to go all pablo escobar. Fuck I wish I had never bought it now. May just have a 10mg valium and a joint, coupled with a double toffee vodka.