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Scared and angry

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lauren098

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
4
I recently went on a night out when I really shouldn't of as I didn't have much money.
Basically I went out spent <mod edit: no prices> brough cocani stayed awake to 7:00 in the morning, then slept all day, couldn't sleep last night and now I'm sitting at work crying because I'm so disappointed in my self.
I don't know why drink and do drugs as I always hate my self the next day.
 
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Hi. Welcome. Theres really only two choices. Dont do them or dont feel bad about it if you do. It doesnt make you a failure or a terrible person to take drugs. I think you probably just need to rest and relax more. Its tough sometimes even 2 days after drinking and drugging to feel good enough to work. Look at it this way, when you get to the point where you arent crying at work, you are too far down the path to make a relatively easy decision to stop. But also, dont go broke buying drugs.
 
Hey Lauren,

dont nut be so hard on yourself we've all done it, I'm guessing u spent the money on Coke? I've done that many of times, you think to yourself oh I'll just have a few stripes then the next thing the birds are singing, it's 9am and you don't have a penny to your name. I'm 31 now and haven't done Coke in over two years, I still would tho given the chance, but with three kids and a business to run I don't really get out much anymore. Anyway, it happens to us all, take it as a life lesson, and if u shared it with anyone then get some money back, Coke deffo has a way of emptying ur bank account lol.
 
Hey and welcome to bluelight! This post isn't really appropriate for this forum, it's more of a blog post. But IIRC blogging doesn't become available until you're a bluelighter (50 posts), so I'll leave it open for now. But please remember this for the future.

OT: I can only agree with what Kittycat5 has said; either don't do it or don't hate yourself for doing it. I'm also pretty sure it's got something to do with a chemical imbalance that was caused by the cocaine use. It's actually quite normal to feel depressed the day(s) after cocaine use. It's the main reason I barely ever use stimulants anymore.
 
Using more than you planned on, at inappropriate times, and using despite consequences (being broke, feeling guilty or shameful) is a hallmark of addiction. You should do some serious introspection and make the choice to either use or not.
 
lauren098 said:
I recently went on a night out when I really shouldn't of as I didn't have much money.
Basically I went out spent <mod edit: no prices> brough cocani stayed awake to 7:00 in the morning, then slept all day, couldn't sleep last night and now I'm sitting at work crying because I'm so disappointed in my self.
I don't know why drink and do drugs as I always hate my self the next day.
Click to expand...

Perhaps a few more details would be handy. Did you invest a fortune in the coke and then consumed it all alone without really having a good time and that is the reason you are upset ? In my opinion coke is a hideous substance in Europe/Northern America, because it is only affordable for privileged people and wears off too quickly. Drugs should be affordable by anyone, who is informed enough to take them.

general tipps for not being as upset next time :

1. Don't drink so much, because the alcohol is contributing a major part to the next day(s) depression
2. Don't buy coke (low value for the price)
3. Don't buy MDMA (long-term comedown)
 
I think we have all woken up in regret from blowing more then we wanted on drugs. I have this issue if i get something in bulk when i normally prefer to buy what i need for one round. So when i use to get coke i would literally get a gram for myself for a party its like nothing and it goes fast but i always find i regret more and more if i do more and more so leaving myself sightly unsatisfied is a requirement sometimes as there are times where I dont have my best interests in mind when on drugs.

This still happens to me on ketamine if i get it earlier then i planned. Its not so much spending the money as i have budgets for K and weed that i dont go over in a week but its like this "damn i can only get k wednesday the show is friday i will do some tonight and enjoy it and save the rest" *does slightly more then he wanted because hes an idiot at times* "well the show is tomorrow and i only have half of what i wanted for it... looks like im going sober" *does the rest of the k for that week* It doesnt bother me because i dont even spend a lot of money on it if i did my behavior would bother the crap out of me (former heroin addict)

I find when it comes to limiting myself there is no better way then getting less then i would like to but enough to keep me happy for when i use it. Also I find doing coke makes me feel especially bad about my choices in life which lead to the cycle of smoking crack because i wanted to, feeling great for minutes, then regretting it for hours... i am glad that is behind me for sure.
 
Hi everyone
Thanks or the words of wisdom and support.
I'm just having a major comedown.
I did have a great night and caught up with a lot of friends that I haven't seen in a while.
I just felt terrible this morning, I shouldn't do drugs as I suffer with depression and can't deal with the conedowns
 
At least it was a great night !

Eat a lot of l-tyrosine containing food like low-fat (or any) curd. Perhaps also l-tryptophan helps.

I also get terrible comedown (several days of anxiety and insomnia) from alcohol. That is why I only drink a few beers nowadays if any.
 
Back when I used use coke I would save it for non work nights so I could lounge the next day and recover without guilt. I would usually take benzos to sleep through the comedown. If coke isn't having a huge negative impact on your life try to plan when you're going to use, budget for it, and have fun! Try to have a recovery plan for the next day with food, vitamins, and readily available.

Of course, if coke is a problem in your life try to abstain as coke habits don't usually get better on their own;)

Try not to beat yourself up - you said you had a good time - just enjoy the memories and know feeling bad is temporary.
 
The only bad thing that I see in having a Coke binge is the price..when it's once every 2-3 months..and of course no crazy doses ..stay responsible
 
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