Saying whatever I want - Why is it so difficult?

[Animal Mother]

Sorry, I call bullshit on this. This is not what "everybody else does." It might be what you do, but don't believe for a second that everyone is like this. Try being a good parent before you say that there are no selfless actions. Or try being in a long term relationship/marriage where the happiness of your partner matters just as much as your own. Or try taking care of a terminally ill family member, doing all you can to ease their transition into death while not burdening them with your own pain.

If you are going to view relationships with other people as commodities, fine. That is certainly your prerogative. Just don't expect a life of meaningful, fulfilling interactions with others who actually care about you. You reap what you sow. Cliche but most often true.

Good parent> love> dopamine release.

Securing your own genetic line.

you basically gave examples of my point.
"Fulfilling" "others who actually care about you"
Both of these things are centered on you.

There are absolutely zero selfless actions. Some people are simply far more aware of it than others. You can also read the post of the two people who agreed with me.

Superficiality is subjective. Who the fuck is any one person to draw those invisible lines about what is ok to use people for and what isn't?

It's about what behavior meets your needs over time and which behavior doesn't. Good and bad are imaginary lines.

 

[thujone]

There are absolutely zero selfless actions. Some people are simply far more aware of it than others. You can also read the post of the two people who agreed with me.

It really depends on what you consider selflessness. If someone helps another person, not to feel good about it but rather to avoid feeling bad about not helping, then the helping party is not gaining anything but rather preventing loss. Assuming the person is strictly a good samaritan (i.e. not having any prior connection to the person to be helped) then they have not invested (risked) anything yet, therefore the perceived loss that they are preventing is one that was manifested out of the good samaritan's long-term investment in their own sense of morality.

If a person invests in their own sense of morality despite suffering the high tangible loss:gain ratio a "good person" typically experiences, then saying to them that their actions are inherently selfish is quite a slap in the face.

TL;DR: you could be right, but you'll still draw moral outrage for saying it

 

[stormcharger]

Sister Beachcat is saying that there are many self-less actions, especially if you care for your child. Sister, not even suicide is a self-less action because at that particular time, the person may believe he is better off dead than alive, so in a way, he thinks it's benefiting him! He's doing himself a favor! If you care for your child, ultimately, it's benefiting you, and same, if your child does righteous deeds, if he/she strives and cares for others, ultimately it's benefiting him!

Then you argue that, if someone jumps into the river to rescue a drowning person, it's a self-less action. It may APPEAR like it is, but in fact, the person jumping calculated the risk of him not making out, and the benefit of becoming a hero if he comes out, and the chemical precursors in his brain triggered a response that was, I'm jumping. Whoever says, I jumped to save him without thinking I was gone make it is a liar. If you believe you won't make it, why jump? You both die...your life is wasted for nothing!

EVEN IF a son is dying of heart failure and the mother comes says "take my heart give it to him" and so she dies to save her son. Even that's not a self-less act. She's suicidal, she believes that by doing it, she's doing herself a favor and it's somewhat benefiting her, she may go to Janna, she may go to heaven, or believe she is. Her love for her son makes her suicidal and I have proved that even suicide is not a self-less action. Simple common sense.

Most people who save someone from dying often say they didn't think about themselves at all and don't want any attention or to be labeled as a hero

 

[95Land]

^Well, what people say and what they think are oftentimes very different. Not always, but often.
A lot of the times you hear someone saying those things, it's into a reporters microphone.

It's not so much cynicism as reality. IMO.

 

[lovegluegunnin]

I honestly think that she just wasn't interested. However, about your problem with speaking your mind in certain situations - sounds to me like part of the time it's instinct and the other part of the time it's a little timidity. Work on your confidence, and the rest will follow through.

 

[pofacedhoe]

A lot of the times you hear someone saying those things, it's into a reporters microphone.

ahaha- this made me lol!

yeah i do think people do things for selfish reasons but there is a line between helpful to others selfish and purely self serving behaviour and although they are all driven by the same actor, the actions are not really in the same category as such

 

[stormcharger]

^Well, what people say and what they think are oftentimes very different. Not always, but often.
A lot of the times you hear someone saying those things, it's into a reporters microphone.

It's not so much cynicism as reality. IMO.

Well i've saved someone before and I just acted, Didn't even think about it and risked my life and I just did it because I couldn't stand by and just let someone die, no thoughts of being a hero or any of that shit

 

[95Land]

^That's awesome. Really.
I'm not saying you personally, but this kind of subject is hard to discuss philosophically because people naturally attach their own personal feelings and experiences to it. I don't think it can be helped.