Setting: Late sunday nightalone in my dorm having i had just finished my homework. for some reason it hit that i wanted to try salvia again right then. i had smoked it a few days prior but only a small amount because i was afraid. i didn't have a breakthrough experience, just felt weird and spinny.
Dose: one bowl 5x extract smoke in 2-3 hits in a glass marijuana pipe.
Experience:
I packed a bowl and took a hit of the bitter tasting smoke. Within about 30 seconds I felt my body being pulled by forces and reality changing dimensions. I felt a deep terror but my mind was made up to break through into the other world I sensed the first time I smoked it.
My consciousness became two dimensional and starting warping and I no longer was aware that I was smoking but somehow I knew that what I was holding was the key to the salvia world. I struggled trying to smoke more. my finger became a person, at first I could tell this was the salvia but soon I actually believed he was a person. i finished the bowl and my consciousness retreated deep into a world inside my mind. but instead of what I had hoped for (some type of alternate world I could explore) there was just nothingness.
I ceased to exist. I then experienced the death of my ego, as described by schizophrenics and psychedelic drug users. Mentally, i died. immediately following death, I became aware again experiencing consciousness on a level that seemed a trillion times simpler than normal human consciousness. I had no ego, no sense of self, no idea who or what I was, no capacity to even question these things at first. It doesn't even make sense to say "I" because there was no self.
As the salvia wore off I experienced the reconstruction of my ergo. It started with me beginning to become more aware. I think I realized I had no idea who or what I was at this point. A feeling starting to rise, I could see it and feel it. it quickly changed and i began to recognise the feeling, the feeling was a person (or rather the beginnings of the feeling my brain creates that I think of as me) but I didn't know who.
As it grew stronger and stronger I finally recognized it, it was my me. My ego, my consciousness. At that moment I rejoined with it yelled out "I am" in response to the question of who that person was which the salvia had been taunting me with. My ego was still very fucked up and didn't feel like me at all but all the while it was becoming more and more like it should be and this was all that gave me hope.
I began to experience the outside world again. I saw my pipe and lighter and recognized them as objects that existed even though I couldn't tell what they were. Within minutes I was returned to normal reality with no after effects. The whole experience was very unpleasant yet very interesting. i'm not sure why but i felt a strong need to fight it the whole time and getting back to normal reality was always at the forefront of my mind, there was just some feeling of unpleasantness to it.
The following day i smoked weed as i usually do and the first time i got high i had many flashbacks from the trip.
I really don't know what to make of the experience, it really changed how i think about myself. I want to try LSD and see if i can induce a partial ego loss in which i have some control in order to further explore this stare.
Dose: one bowl 5x extract smoke in 2-3 hits in a glass marijuana pipe.
Experience:
I packed a bowl and took a hit of the bitter tasting smoke. Within about 30 seconds I felt my body being pulled by forces and reality changing dimensions. I felt a deep terror but my mind was made up to break through into the other world I sensed the first time I smoked it.
My consciousness became two dimensional and starting warping and I no longer was aware that I was smoking but somehow I knew that what I was holding was the key to the salvia world. I struggled trying to smoke more. my finger became a person, at first I could tell this was the salvia but soon I actually believed he was a person. i finished the bowl and my consciousness retreated deep into a world inside my mind. but instead of what I had hoped for (some type of alternate world I could explore) there was just nothingness.
I ceased to exist. I then experienced the death of my ego, as described by schizophrenics and psychedelic drug users. Mentally, i died. immediately following death, I became aware again experiencing consciousness on a level that seemed a trillion times simpler than normal human consciousness. I had no ego, no sense of self, no idea who or what I was, no capacity to even question these things at first. It doesn't even make sense to say "I" because there was no self.
As the salvia wore off I experienced the reconstruction of my ergo. It started with me beginning to become more aware. I think I realized I had no idea who or what I was at this point. A feeling starting to rise, I could see it and feel it. it quickly changed and i began to recognise the feeling, the feeling was a person (or rather the beginnings of the feeling my brain creates that I think of as me) but I didn't know who.
As it grew stronger and stronger I finally recognized it, it was my me. My ego, my consciousness. At that moment I rejoined with it yelled out "I am" in response to the question of who that person was which the salvia had been taunting me with. My ego was still very fucked up and didn't feel like me at all but all the while it was becoming more and more like it should be and this was all that gave me hope.
I began to experience the outside world again. I saw my pipe and lighter and recognized them as objects that existed even though I couldn't tell what they were. Within minutes I was returned to normal reality with no after effects. The whole experience was very unpleasant yet very interesting. i'm not sure why but i felt a strong need to fight it the whole time and getting back to normal reality was always at the forefront of my mind, there was just some feeling of unpleasantness to it.
The following day i smoked weed as i usually do and the first time i got high i had many flashbacks from the trip.
I really don't know what to make of the experience, it really changed how i think about myself. I want to try LSD and see if i can induce a partial ego loss in which i have some control in order to further explore this stare.
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