My Journey
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1
Hello,
I am going to post my first Trip Report,
I hope its not too long...![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Background - It was me and my sitter friend in my room at home while my parents were at their own room.
Bob Marley was playing in the background (not too loud) - music that I like and which makes me calm.
None of us tried Salvia before, we both are using LSD sometimes and only I used mushrooms few times (not the serious ones, but Amsterdam's truffles).
I smoked the Salvia through a bong - 1 full hit with a regular light, not a turbo, and left the smoke a few seconds in my lungs before letting go.
In the first moments I already felt that its different - I felt like I'm light and floating. Approximately a minute later (I discovered later) I left the reality space and moved to another world.
I dont really know happened then in the first minutes of the trip, I was just told I was sitting and looking at nothing or closing my eyes but I didnt pay attention to anything around, in other words - It also looked like I'm not there.
After few minutes, my consciousness did come back, not completely but step-by-step. This "step by step process" was the interesting part of the trip.
The first things I remember are some hallucination and color/shapes in my mind which I cannot really remember because it was vague at first but as it became clearer also my consciousness it self was returning, I really felt like I'm not myself - like I'm not whole and that I'm building my self. it was shown in my mind like a lot of debris that trying to make a form - form of myself (my body) and that was actually my conciseness itself, I was like trying to build my shape from debris and it was always failing as I was decomposing. this process happened over and over again - the debris are becoming like some shape of me and decomposing again, every time I succeed to get more of me and getting closer to being whole but meanwhile I have been failing and even panicking a bit that I wont be back to normal.
I must say that even that this part was a bit scary, it was kinda amazing.
At some point, I passed that level 1 of coming back to myself after I kind of completely shaped myself back. This is when I began hearing my friend somewhere calling my name "can you hear me?" "are you there? "talk to me" (he freaked out a bit) but I did not answer. I think because lack of self-confident and lack of interest.
Here I passed to another level of my consciousness-building. Now I did knew who I am and I had general memories, also I knew I did some bad drug (for others perspective) - this is connecting to the continuation of the trip - which was the real stressful part - here I felt like I've lost it. Because I knew I did something strong and I knew that I'm not fully conscious so I thought I made some mental damage to myself and that I'm not regular - there I started feeling like I'm caught - like people are holding me and my parents are there - that's what I felt and saw in my mind, even though it wasn't so clear, but it was always decomposing and building itself all over again. it happened fast, but happened round and round.
I'm not sure if my parents themselves were holding me or they were just present there, but I was really scared, not regular fear, but fear that I've done something really bad and I'm caught and I'm gonna be in real trouble...
Here I started talking. first I answered my friend "yes" "I'm okay" "everything is fine" - which he really needed to be calm that I'm fine - but because what I imagined in my trip, I thought my friend is just trying to get me to talk near my parents that are there standing angry and anxious to hear me and understand what happened to me.
That's why I also was afraid to talk, give information and share, I was just thinking how I'm getting out of this situation and what is the most right thing to say. Of course I couldn't really think properly so in the end I just said something like "this stuff is not serious, its not what it looks like" - somehow its truth (about Salvia) but I was afraid of it myself at that moment.
I want to remind that all of this happened while I wasn't really seeing the reality, but I was still in some kind of vision/imagination in another dimension that I'm being caught, thought I was still hearing my friend in the background and he could hear what I said.
In the next level which I think was the last, the rest of my consciousness was coming back to me as well, slowly and by decomposing and building again all the time. Now slowly my understanding of the current situation was coming back to me - I understood that I'm not being held, then I understood that my parents aren't around and when I got that only my friend can hear me, I told him "just tell me I'm being quiet" (I meant that I'm not screaming like in the videos), fortunately I was quiet.
So it kept coming back to me, I remembered I smoked Salvia, I was waking up to the reality around me and to my room and to see its just me and my friend there.
I didnt get relieved suddenly, because the situation was always in progress of getting clear, so the relief came step by step during the trip.
Then actually I really laughed from the situation, when I finally understood what happened.
In those last moments, I saw that I changed my position on the bed and that the bong was no longer on my hand (didn't remember i put it on the table).
I was back to full conscious then, but the euphoria and lack of confidence still lingered for a while. later I even smoked weed.
Well thats it.
The main thing I learned from it is how deep this stuff goes - even though I'm not really in the age to be afraid of my parents (23), the fact that we were in the same house and that I knew some people freak out from it - that fact lingered in my subconsciousness and that's what the Salvia was "extracting".
I also decided (of course) that if there will be next time - it will be done better - when there is nothing around that can make me even a bit nervous or afraid.
I would like to hear any comments,
thank you!
I am going to post my first Trip Report,
I hope its not too long...
Background - It was me and my sitter friend in my room at home while my parents were at their own room.
Bob Marley was playing in the background (not too loud) - music that I like and which makes me calm.
None of us tried Salvia before, we both are using LSD sometimes and only I used mushrooms few times (not the serious ones, but Amsterdam's truffles).
I smoked the Salvia through a bong - 1 full hit with a regular light, not a turbo, and left the smoke a few seconds in my lungs before letting go.
In the first moments I already felt that its different - I felt like I'm light and floating. Approximately a minute later (I discovered later) I left the reality space and moved to another world.
I dont really know happened then in the first minutes of the trip, I was just told I was sitting and looking at nothing or closing my eyes but I didnt pay attention to anything around, in other words - It also looked like I'm not there.
After few minutes, my consciousness did come back, not completely but step-by-step. This "step by step process" was the interesting part of the trip.
The first things I remember are some hallucination and color/shapes in my mind which I cannot really remember because it was vague at first but as it became clearer also my consciousness it self was returning, I really felt like I'm not myself - like I'm not whole and that I'm building my self. it was shown in my mind like a lot of debris that trying to make a form - form of myself (my body) and that was actually my conciseness itself, I was like trying to build my shape from debris and it was always failing as I was decomposing. this process happened over and over again - the debris are becoming like some shape of me and decomposing again, every time I succeed to get more of me and getting closer to being whole but meanwhile I have been failing and even panicking a bit that I wont be back to normal.
I must say that even that this part was a bit scary, it was kinda amazing.
At some point, I passed that level 1 of coming back to myself after I kind of completely shaped myself back. This is when I began hearing my friend somewhere calling my name "can you hear me?" "are you there? "talk to me" (he freaked out a bit) but I did not answer. I think because lack of self-confident and lack of interest.
Here I passed to another level of my consciousness-building. Now I did knew who I am and I had general memories, also I knew I did some bad drug (for others perspective) - this is connecting to the continuation of the trip - which was the real stressful part - here I felt like I've lost it. Because I knew I did something strong and I knew that I'm not fully conscious so I thought I made some mental damage to myself and that I'm not regular - there I started feeling like I'm caught - like people are holding me and my parents are there - that's what I felt and saw in my mind, even though it wasn't so clear, but it was always decomposing and building itself all over again. it happened fast, but happened round and round.
I'm not sure if my parents themselves were holding me or they were just present there, but I was really scared, not regular fear, but fear that I've done something really bad and I'm caught and I'm gonna be in real trouble...
Here I started talking. first I answered my friend "yes" "I'm okay" "everything is fine" - which he really needed to be calm that I'm fine - but because what I imagined in my trip, I thought my friend is just trying to get me to talk near my parents that are there standing angry and anxious to hear me and understand what happened to me.
That's why I also was afraid to talk, give information and share, I was just thinking how I'm getting out of this situation and what is the most right thing to say. Of course I couldn't really think properly so in the end I just said something like "this stuff is not serious, its not what it looks like" - somehow its truth (about Salvia) but I was afraid of it myself at that moment.
I want to remind that all of this happened while I wasn't really seeing the reality, but I was still in some kind of vision/imagination in another dimension that I'm being caught, thought I was still hearing my friend in the background and he could hear what I said.
In the next level which I think was the last, the rest of my consciousness was coming back to me as well, slowly and by decomposing and building again all the time. Now slowly my understanding of the current situation was coming back to me - I understood that I'm not being held, then I understood that my parents aren't around and when I got that only my friend can hear me, I told him "just tell me I'm being quiet" (I meant that I'm not screaming like in the videos), fortunately I was quiet.
So it kept coming back to me, I remembered I smoked Salvia, I was waking up to the reality around me and to my room and to see its just me and my friend there.
I didnt get relieved suddenly, because the situation was always in progress of getting clear, so the relief came step by step during the trip.
Then actually I really laughed from the situation, when I finally understood what happened.
In those last moments, I saw that I changed my position on the bed and that the bong was no longer on my hand (didn't remember i put it on the table).
I was back to full conscious then, but the euphoria and lack of confidence still lingered for a while. later I even smoked weed.
Well thats it.
The main thing I learned from it is how deep this stuff goes - even though I'm not really in the age to be afraid of my parents (23), the fact that we were in the same house and that I knew some people freak out from it - that fact lingered in my subconsciousness and that's what the Salvia was "extracting".
I also decided (of course) that if there will be next time - it will be done better - when there is nothing around that can make me even a bit nervous or afraid.
I would like to hear any comments,
thank you!
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