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sad story , haven't been laid in over 2years and going crazy

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rubenr4g

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 14, 2011
Messages
93
its a long story but i promise ill make it as short as possible..after abusing drugs from the age of 10 to 18 i fell into a spell of mental side effects which lead to me becoming anorexic and almost dying at 19. after recovering from anorexia i began to binge eat and that brings us to today. i was 300lbs but I'm now around 260..at 5'6 i look really fat and i can't get laid. i will say this when i was a skinny 150lb addict i had no problem getting laid. any input is welcome, thanks in advance
 
rubenr4g..im male lol 21 years old…ill explain some more..as a kid i was chubby and girls never used to pay attention to me then, summer before high school i got skinny and at 19 got fat again. in my mind being fat is just a turn off for what i believe mostly everyone. sometimes i even hear whispers of girls saying I'm cute but too fat…as i type this i also realize my anxiety and obesity keep me from going out anymore. theres days where i don't even step out of my house..that I'm guessing too has lots too do with it. when i was skinny i rarely was home. obviously more chances of hooking up…I've tried internet dating with no luck…sadly I'm thinking of doing something i said i never would, get a hooker…the only thing really holding me back is the fear or stds and paying for sex is just wrong, i never understood it but now i see why some men do it
 
wow you have very little self esteem. instead of complaining about your weight or doing extreme things like not eating why dont you join a gym but keep it moderate?

not everything has to be in extremes. exercise will improve your mood and when your mood goes up so will the way you carry yourself. and confidence is key to attracting others in ANY situation, sexual or not
 
^ this.

I think chubby girls have it easier getting laid than chubby guys though. Quite a few men have a fetish for bigger girls, but I've never heard of a fetish for bigger guys.

At any rate though... and this may sound cold, but it's the truth: You gotta be in the same shape as the league you want to play in. You wouldn't expect a pro football team to give you a try out if your football experience is playing Madden... and if you don't take care of your health and your body, you can't expect those who DO take care of theirs to want to have sex with you.

I know it's not easy - I was overweight for quite a few years, so don't think I don't understand where you're at. Then one day I was like you know what, I'm not happy like this. It's keeping from being able to do the things I want, and being able to do the people I want ;) So I started eating better and started exercising. It was hard at first, but the human body is adaptable. You'll get used to not eating all the time, using it as an antidote for loneliness and boredom. Keep eating normal size meals, and you will eventually get full from them like a normal person and not need like six slices of pizza (like I used to) to feel satisfied.

Its your life, it's in your hands. You have the power to change things and make the life you want, a life where you're in shape and have lots of great sex. It's up to you :)

Some inspiration:

This isn't me btw, (I'm a girl), I just find him super inspiring

http://www.gettingfit4life.com/tran...-and-weight-lifting-pictures-week-11-post-op/
 
Your self esteem is so low that you've considered paying a hooker? Dude, come on, you're 21...I mean, if you're 260 now, I'd get into weight-training hardcore. That fat can very easily be turned into muscle in your 20's. Work your way over a year or 2 down to 200-210 or so and you should be good. Other than that, you should read some of the drug horror story threads on this forum...there is much worse stuff that can happen to your body than dealing with weight issues that don't involve chronic drug use. This is the simple stuff, honestly, in essence, because we're only talking about a mental hurdle here - maintaining a consistent weight. Now, if you have a heart or other internal organ condition, OK, but if you're normal otherwise, it's up to you, man...
 
Hello there. Um I hate to break it to you but you're not gonna get laid if you weigh 260 pounds. Maybe if you had a ton a confidence you might be able to get a fat girl...

Anyways... I used to be a heavy guy in high school - i was 5'8, 230ish and hated my body. There was a few hott girls that I wanted so badly so towards the end of junior year I decided I was gonna get skinny and fast. I'm not gonna endorse my method because it wasn't very healthy but I pretty much fasted and worked out all day, every day(cardio every day and weight lifting 4 times a week). I was 160 lbs in around 6/7 months and finally "skinny enough", I tapered off my diet and continued working out. For a long while I still wasn't confident in my body at all and needless to say I still didn't get laid. It wasn't until much later that I began to get comfortable in my new body and I started getting some serious strange. Like alot! It's been 4 years now and these days I can eat pretty much whatever I want and not gain a pound. <3 my metabolism :P. But ya if you want it badly enough you can have it. Cut down a little bit on your eating and put everything you can into working out. The trick to losing weight is you absolutely have to want it!
 
^ Intermittent fasting isn't unhealthy for the body at all. It gets a lot of bad press because people think of it like an eating disorder or whatever. And it challenges conventional wisdom. But as long as you are counting calories each day and only going like 20% below caloric equilibrium at most, then you'll be fine. It works very well. In fact, you seem to be able to get away with eating less clean food this way and still lose fat, as long as calories add up right. It's how I diet when I want to cut bodyfat down (18h off, 6h on).
 
Maybe quit posting on forums and go on a fucking run! Eat real foods no processed crap!
 
@redleader: Im not so sure if it was healthy in my case. I was only eating on average 500-800 calories for the first 3 months while working my body to exhaustion and wearing out my brain from weed all day every day. Note: I lost a bit of muscle too.
 
I've never been laid, and I don't think it's really bothering me. :)

Maybe it's about the attitude one has?

It's not that I didn't want to get laid - it's just the fact that I can live without it!
 
I have been quite overweight before. As a teenager, I was the fat kid at school. I know what's it like to feel shit about your appearance. I then started being careful about what I ate and exercising most days. I have been in excellent shape before (6 pack, well built) and then put on 10kg as a result of antidepressants. I am currently 6'2 and 95kg, having lost 5kg over the last 2 months.

It takes a bit of work (a lot of work if you want to lose the weight relatively quickly) and discipline. There is no magical cure - exercise and eat less calories than you burn. If you do this I guarantee you will lose weight.

Being 250lbs is not massively overweight. If you start lifting weights, clean up your diet (which doesn't mean starving yourself or never eating junk food again - occassionally is fine), you should start noticing a difference pretty quickly. You will also feel better about yourself.

I have suffered incredibly low self esteem before but the sooner you stop feeling sorry for yourself and feeling helpless, the sooner your confidence and self-esteem will increase. It took me taking action (in many domains in my life - not just fitness) before I started feeling better. A man who is driven and confident is just as attractive to a woman as appearance.

BTW, 250lbs will not stop you getting girls if you actually make the effort to start dating.
 
So many unnecessary "jabs" thrown. Anyone who has to blatantly point out another's low or lack-of self esteem isn't making themselves look any better. Just a pointer*

I don't see anything wrong with hookers lol. I have a couple of girlfriends(I'm young I'm not fuckin married yet don't judge me) and I also fuck a lot of other girls. But there are just some nights where I feel like fucking someone who gets paid and enjoys doing it. Sometimes u just need to get a fuck out of your system when it's been a while. And yea I definitely agree with everyone on working out and eating consciously. Good luck.


Good luck.
 
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Honestly, it seems like more of a self esteem issue than anything. When you thought you looked better, you were more confident, and confidence is key. Now that you're not very confident, it's harder.

That being said, losing weight would probably help you increase your confidence. Being healthy is good for that. I'd recommend checking out the Healthy Living forum for some advice: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/161-Healthy-Living
 
Yeah women, and men, are attracted to confidence. Even more so than your direct physical appearance, confidence is sexy to everyone and can make up for you maybe not being super good looking. So, if your body is not making you confident at the moment, start doing something to change that so you can project confidence. Other people will see that and be drawn to it like a magnet.
 
jesus christ some of you shouldn't be on forums lol rude much? but some of u were quite nice and helpful so thank you. like i said I'm dieting and losing weight. i wanted to know what to do in the mean while since it will probably be another half year to a year before I'm skinny again. this post made me realize it really isn't my weight, i see fat guys getting laid all the time. thing is i hardly leave my room anymore, most days not at all because i have an anxiety disorder and eating disorder which makes the weight loss thing hard too. really rude to say things like that to someone with and ED. changing my weight regardless of up or down is really scary for me but yeah i guess ima just put myself out there and hopefully i get a half decent chick
 
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