• Bluelight
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    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP Matty

tackyspiral

tackyspiral

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
2,657
Location
rocky mountains
My close friend Matt OD'd on Heroin at the very end of August
I gave him the rigs and we went to the same dealer...
He was only 20


I love you forever boo
 
was his sn matty? if so im not familier with him but it still sucks

first off i gotta say im sorry for your loss and im not tryin to make you mad but since you gave him the rigs so do you feel like you have partial blame for it happening?
 
^ I don't think he meant it like that. I think he was gonna follow up by telling them basically what you said (about them still getting them elsewhere) if they happened to feel guilty about it. Like if they felt partially responsible, he was gonna tell them they weren't. Know what I mean?

Anyway, sorry to hear about Matty. RIP. I had a friend OD on the same batch that he got for me, and I had offered to get him clean rigs since I knew he was using his old ones, but he declined my offer. The end result was going to be the same either way.
 
Lucy13 said:
What kind of question is that? I am sure the kid would of found rigs elesewhere.
Click to expand...

ill tell you what kind of question it is...its great fuckin question toughguy..like tommy said i was just tryin to get into their head to see where they where at and give them words of encouragement based on the answer

i didnt want her blaming herself for something like that, cause it fucks up peoples heads and they start to think "if i only...so and so would still be alive"
 
i guess i came to terms with the fact that i am not to blame but yes at first all i could think was that it was my fault
i also get that why not me train of thought alot too
 
<3

I'm so sorry. I lost my boyfriend at around the same time - I know that this is a particularly difficult stage now as people expect us to be okay and over it, but far from it. I feel just as lost and off-balance and hurting and missing Dave as I did then, if not more. It feels different but certainly not less! So I understand how much you miss your friend, and how much of a struggle it can be even 4 months down the line. I am so sorry for your loss, words are inadequate...

It will get better though. Lost track of how many times I've said this (or been told it to people in my shoes but further down the line) - you don't get over it, you learn to live alongside it, and slowly you learn to live comfortably alongside it for the most part, so you can get on with your life, remembering the good times and what they gave you. It will still always hurt sometimes, I don't think that will ever go away, but it will get easier I promise <3

Feel free to shoot me a pm if you want to talk, or there is a grief/bereavement thread in TDS here
 
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