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Relationship worries.

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wizzlethef

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 26, 2013
Messages
7
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
My girlfriend and I have been dating for just under 2 years. We're both 19, I took her virginity, and up until recently, we had a good sex life. I was in a car accident 4 months ago, and for a mpnth and a half, she couldn't lie next to me, as I was im the hospital.

Since then, we haven't had sex, we barely even makeout, and it seems like she never wants to spend alone time with me. I have confronted her about it, and she insists, and has for 3 months, that all she needs is time.

I feel like I can't get through, we decided to hold off on intimacy, and try and progress thrpugh the bases again, but shenever starts it, and always prevents anything mpre than a makeout, if she would even deign to do that. She says whenever I express my unhappiness that I need to show more patience, and that she is still attracted to me, but she just never shows it.

I don't wanna break up with her, and when I ask she seems very upset that I think she would want to do that. I don't, however, feel that I can wait forever for her to feel comfprtable with me again. I want to get aome feedback if you think I should keep trying or just kill it now.
 
Unfortunately it doesn't sound good. What have changed? Quickly I see only 2 things why she be like that.

You feel like you lost some sex appeal after accident? If yes, she might just need time to feel like you are her boyfriend again, and not victim of accident who she feel sorry for.

More it sounds to me (but just my personal opinion and I hope I'm wrong and it's something else) that she have done something behind your back and now either feels really guilty or is having feelings towards someone else :/

If it's something else than these 2, then I don't know.

If it's first one you could try to ignore her, be relaxed and confident and don't pay too much attention to her and this issue. That way she get time, you don't feel pushy and if she was attracted to you before, she will be again.

If it's second, you have 2 choices. If you don't understand and forgive her, then break up and move on. But if you going to understand, have a serious conversation with her teliing her that if she is distant because she have something to hide you will understand, she was lonely and you weren't there. Tell that you forgive her is she have done something and just want to get back to where you were. Depending how you feel, either her to come clean or say that you don't want to hear what happened. Some people will not tell you the truth easily/at all, some people will be relieved to come clean. People who feel relieved are usually worth it, if you just can forgive her 100%.


But no matter what's the issue, just try to make safe and relaxed situation where you could talk. That's only way to solve it. Good luck!
 
She got up to something with some other dude while you were recovering and now, no longer wants you. Or you have some kind of disfigurement now and she doesn't feel attracted to you.
 
EP158207 said:
She got up to something with some other dude while you were recovering and now, no longer wants you. Or you have some kind of disfigurement now and she doesn't feel attracted to you.
Click to expand...

Hmmm that's a very harsh way to say something I was going to say more diplomatically, but... yeah.

One other option is to think whether she went into a depression while you were in hospital, I mean if you nearly died this is definitely possible. And if she did, this would seriously affect her libido. Maybe something to check?
 
Something similar happened to me last year when my boyfriend od'd on heroin and spent a week in the hospital. I was so worried and scared that all sex appeal/desire immediately disappeared and it took a while for me to even feel comfortable spending the night in the bed where he was found.

3 months is a long time for her to feel this way though. How long we're you in the hospital? Even though you don't want to break up, is a sexless relationship something you can live with? It doesn't sound like it.
 
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