Forest Ninja
Greenlighter
My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I love her to death, it's weird how much I love her and it scares me. Keep in mind that this is my first serious relationship, and I've never felt this way about anyone before. We started dating when I was 17, I'm 19 now. She's almost 17, we started when she was 15. We've had a wonderful relationship so far, we grew up together so we know each other very well. We're very comfortable with one another. We spend a lot of time laughing, we're almost always happy when we're around each other. We really put in work to make the relationship better and we plan on being together for the rest of our lives.
So here's the shitty part.
A few months ago I went through some shit (family death, drug abuse, chronic pain) and we got in a huge fight. She started talking to this guy while we were on a break (one week) and planned to meet with him. He blew her off and now she doesn't want to talk to anyone else. So that's okay I guess. I thought I had a thing a few months ago but that blew over as well. She was distant the first week we started talking again, but now she's pretty much back to normal. The only thing that bothers me is now I feel like we're not going to work out in the long run. We have talked about the future, and from what I've gotten from her is that she sees us together in 5, 10, 15 years, but no guarantees. She's being realistic I guess. I don't know if one day one of us will fall out of love with the other, I don't know if she'll decide she's too young to be serious and leave. She said that she just wanted to be sure I'm what she wants before we commit. "What if there's someone out there who we'd be happier with" She says she loves me like nothing else, she is just afraid that one day she may lose feelings. That's why she doesn't want to say anything like forever, or that she knows we'll work out. She told me that she thinks we'll work out in the long run, like 80-90% chance. She's just too young to be 100% sure.
I get she's young, and there's a lot of time left to date around. I just don't want to lose her. I look at couples that have been together for 50, 60, 70, 80 years and I'm jealous of their loyalty. I want her to be with me for the rest of my life. Seriously, fuck dating around and hooking up with random college sluts. I'm going of to college next year. She wants me to go to the same school she wants to go to. It's about 90 minutes from where we currently live. I said I'd attend a closer school, but she says "I think you'll have fun there and I wanna go too." I'm just scared that one day she'll meet some random shithead at a party, get a crush, and decide we're not worth fighting for. She'll get hurt, she'll hurt me, and life will generally suck. I'll really really hate myself if she moves on to become a whore.
I really try my best to make us work. I think she's perfect although I realize that's impossible. I'm so stressed out over this I'm losing weight, I can't sleep more than 5 hours a night, and I always feel like shit. It's legitimately making me sick. I have to take my Xanax just to calm myself down enough to function. I feel like my life is one constant panic attack, and what's worse is I hate feeling like I can't control myself. I hate being so needy and dependent on a person for love. I feel like this is actually gonna kill me, like I'm too young for this stuff. It's too late to do anything about it though, and I just pray I never have to lose her.
Basically, I'm looking for opinions on whether or not we'll work out, what I should do to help myself cope, and generally advice on the situation. I've talked to my friends, parents, other adults, acquaintances, everyone I really can talk to. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this. Some are saying "She's gonna be a whore" others are saying "Dude, It'll be fine, You guys are gonna work, we see it!" I'm not sure who to trust. I'm just so torn up it's fucking pathetic. Thanks for the advice ya'll. This is my first post on Blue Light! It's good to be here, I've been reading for years.
So here's the shitty part.
A few months ago I went through some shit (family death, drug abuse, chronic pain) and we got in a huge fight. She started talking to this guy while we were on a break (one week) and planned to meet with him. He blew her off and now she doesn't want to talk to anyone else. So that's okay I guess. I thought I had a thing a few months ago but that blew over as well. She was distant the first week we started talking again, but now she's pretty much back to normal. The only thing that bothers me is now I feel like we're not going to work out in the long run. We have talked about the future, and from what I've gotten from her is that she sees us together in 5, 10, 15 years, but no guarantees. She's being realistic I guess. I don't know if one day one of us will fall out of love with the other, I don't know if she'll decide she's too young to be serious and leave. She said that she just wanted to be sure I'm what she wants before we commit. "What if there's someone out there who we'd be happier with" She says she loves me like nothing else, she is just afraid that one day she may lose feelings. That's why she doesn't want to say anything like forever, or that she knows we'll work out. She told me that she thinks we'll work out in the long run, like 80-90% chance. She's just too young to be 100% sure.
I get she's young, and there's a lot of time left to date around. I just don't want to lose her. I look at couples that have been together for 50, 60, 70, 80 years and I'm jealous of their loyalty. I want her to be with me for the rest of my life. Seriously, fuck dating around and hooking up with random college sluts. I'm going of to college next year. She wants me to go to the same school she wants to go to. It's about 90 minutes from where we currently live. I said I'd attend a closer school, but she says "I think you'll have fun there and I wanna go too." I'm just scared that one day she'll meet some random shithead at a party, get a crush, and decide we're not worth fighting for. She'll get hurt, she'll hurt me, and life will generally suck. I'll really really hate myself if she moves on to become a whore.
I really try my best to make us work. I think she's perfect although I realize that's impossible. I'm so stressed out over this I'm losing weight, I can't sleep more than 5 hours a night, and I always feel like shit. It's legitimately making me sick. I have to take my Xanax just to calm myself down enough to function. I feel like my life is one constant panic attack, and what's worse is I hate feeling like I can't control myself. I hate being so needy and dependent on a person for love. I feel like this is actually gonna kill me, like I'm too young for this stuff. It's too late to do anything about it though, and I just pray I never have to lose her.
Basically, I'm looking for opinions on whether or not we'll work out, what I should do to help myself cope, and generally advice on the situation. I've talked to my friends, parents, other adults, acquaintances, everyone I really can talk to. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this. Some are saying "She's gonna be a whore" others are saying "Dude, It'll be fine, You guys are gonna work, we see it!" I'm not sure who to trust. I'm just so torn up it's fucking pathetic. Thanks for the advice ya'll. This is my first post on Blue Light! It's good to be here, I've been reading for years.
