Relapse Prevention- starting counseling tmrw, some questions

[Subdivisions]

Hey all,

I've share my story on here with a few people and have got some good advice.

I've finally managed to clean up- after some relapsing, I am down to 1 tramadol a day- took my last one last night. Feeling OK, a bit depressed, but whatever- I been through CT from higher amounts.

My using, at it's peak hasn't been terrible- I'd rotate my opiates (hydro this month, T3 next, tramadol here and there...for about a year the cycle went).

But mostly, my problems are severely emotional. My trigger are my parents- I come from an ultra-religious, conformist family (islamic).

I am a musician (DJ) and pretty successful in my hometown...while working successfully in sales.

I have strong opposition from all sides in my family for my lifestyle- I am a natural go-getter, march-to-my-own drum what have you...and have NOT been able to handle it well.

Lately, I have been slacking in my music/work, find myself looking for "easy way outs" so that I can appease my family and it's led to my addiction seeking. When I am away from my family I am fine, but when I get around them and the issues pop up, it's straight to the stash.

Tomorrow I begin talk therapy. I am worried about a few things:

-Since my family life is a trigger, I feel that I need time away from them completely. My fear is that I will hear the same thing from my counselor- I don't know if I can handle that. That could cause serious conflict for me.

-I know of musicians and DJ's that have been alcoholics and pill junkies. They have returned to their professions successfully without any relapse...even with what is available in that environment. How do they do so? Will I ever be able to be around my family again without pain?

I know this is deep but any insight would be golden.

 

[Dr.kush]

Well I'm fresh out of rehab and in the same place as you. So I think you should go to NA or AA for help, and get either of the books. Acceptence really helps with all your problems.

Say this prayer it helps: god grant me the serenity to accepte the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

[jonaz]

the demon will always frustrate himself,
and he will always push away reality or run away from it (e.g. getting high)

you need to take back control from the demon.
how?

watch what happens in side you. the thoughts, the automatic reactions,
the feelings, etc. all you have to do is watch, and see that you are not the thoughts,
not the feelings.

u have identified with a stream of thoughts and habits which you have come to believe is you.
by adopting the witness attitude, u will see that u are not that which u have believed urself to be.

seeing this, u will become free from it,
and regain power over urself.

it's a subtle game the ego plays with every human on this planet.
i recommend samatha-vippassana if the information i just gave u is not enough.

 

[Subdivisions]

Any thoughts on my two points? I apperciate the responses...