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Recent Relapse on Heroin Will I Kick Again Help Please

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paperchaser

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
72
I have been clean off heroin for about a year the other day I started obsessing about it and ended up getting a few grams... I have used all of it in the last 4-5 days and am now contemplating either stopping or continuing... I really want to stop altogether again but am wondering if I will go through a heavy heroin kick I don't want to be sick and all messed up again... if someone could tell me what im about to go through if they have had similar experience or what the kick is going to be like I would really appreciate it.. I got myself in a tough situation and I have respected this board for years and see alot of education and knowledge here... any help is appreciated thanks again
 
I would think the mental aspect of w/d would be the worst part. Certainly if your talking about obsessing. I know if I start to think of dope and using [especially if I am sick] I get that ball rolling in my head next thing you know I am copping dope. Its like a snowball rolling down a mountain building up steam and the only out come is a big crash.

Physical w/d's can be medicated but mental not so much so. I think you will be fine take some w/d meds if you get uncomfortable. I am sure you know what the kick will be like if you continue using for a few more days. Think about what you want to do carefully because what comes after a 4-5 day binge? another 4-5 day binge? Or just 4-5 days of uneasiness?

What caused you to start obsessing about it to the point of picking up a few grams?

peace.
seedless
 
Thanks for your quick response... I just got my feet back on the ground have a great job, money in the bank, things are looking on the up and up and then all of the sudden I found myself looking up heroin online, and reading heroin threads, and obsessing about nodding and the feeling and the taste and everything then I started asking around just to see if I wanted it if I could get it and sure as shit an old friend could get it... so after work I just took off and got a few grams and started using it and didn't stop from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to sleep for the last 4-5 days and now I feel really in the dumps because I relapsed and I am in alot of fear about kicking and being at work but hopefully it wont be too bad... and I hope I am strong enough to not call up the hookup again and get more.. it really is a vicious cycle and I don't want it to takeover my life again... I really want to get through this binge and stay sober again.
 
so u think 4-5 days of kicking bump for any further reponses... im still trippin and upset about this
 
One year clean, 4-5 days of use, you will be fine. You have work to keep you busy, get rid of that hook up phone number if possible, and try to keep busy. If it was only that easy :)

peace.
seedless
 
You should quit now and it will be a whole hell of a lot easier than if you get strung out again and risk losing your job and all that. It might not be 100% painless but the kick will be fairly easy because you haven't been using for very long. Like I said why not quit now when it is easy to do? good luck man ;)
 
There's no reason to think any further on this- stop and stay stopped. I recently just had my own relapse and damn do I wish I had taken advantage of a window to quit a few weeks ago. I'm really regretting that now. Even if you have to go through some w/d- it won't be nearly as bad as when you kicked a major, years long habit. Probably just a few nights of disrupted sleep, minor restless leg, a little depression. I'll bet you've experienced much, much worse.

You're digging yourself a hole- definitely stop digging.
 
Yea I am a retard I bought one more bundle and just went through half of it plan on doing the other half in the morning and stopping then.... I went to an HA meeting and somebody there knew a friend of mine and recognized me and wanted to do some... the tar in az is ridiculous the stuff this kid had was 100 times more powerful than the stuff i relapsed on and im just going to delete both there numbers tell them to never talk to me again... keep going to meetings and meeting with my sponsor and pray to god that I do not let myself get hooked up on black tar again thanks again for the support because of your guys inspiration I didnt use all of today until after the meeting when the heroin demons came in my head and said it doesnt matter what you want to do were doing black and were doing it now. Anyways thanks again love you all fellow bluelighters.
 
Perfect timing kick over the weekend and things will be ok, right? You'll be fine just dont keep using or you know what will happen...

peace,
seedless
 
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