Misc Realization Strikes

[MrSexypancake]

I have been using Crystal Meth for a month now, and in the middle of my current binge I had realized that this is becoming a problem. It hit me when I stopped to question my behavior while rooting around my bed and floor, trying to find any elusive shard that may have slipped away from me. I was literally trying to decide if an insignificant piece of what I now believe to have been salt, was more crystal.

Does anyone else have any similar anecdotes?

 

[LonE1]

Welcome to my entire month of march that just past...I wound up putting SOMETHING in the burner and it burned like crazy, and tasted so awful I cant put it into words.

I went to detox the next day.

Its insane how quick meth addiction hits....one min you just smoking crystal and next min youve been up 3 days which felt like half a day, next min your up 2 weeks still saying you dont have a problem; you take one day off and think your fine, and before you know it your repeating the same 2 weeks again. Burning salt. Get help. Youve realized uve got a problem, next step is getting help. You can do it but considering uve been burning all month you should get support.

 

[opiodmaniac]

never carpet surfed but I have found opana residue on a spoon before and squirte some water on it and shot it up.... yeah not so smart lol

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Searching through your carpet is a tic, it's a sign you're too high on methamphetamine and that you need to stop using immediately. You probably needed to stop using before you even got to that point to be perfectly honest.

Have you considered quitting?

 

[Kid Amine]

Ive seen this about a hundred times with those that smoke crack, drives me up a fkn wall. Ime, people who do opiates stare at the floor for hours, because it's, well, fun. Crackheads stare at the floor for hours looking for that crack rock they *swear* they dropped. I dont put one down over the other, but personally, I stay the hell away from people that like speed type drugs, because Ive seen some truly bizarre behavior from them, and they are not isolate incidences. Opiate users, as long as they are breathing, are generally fine, and dont tweak out or freak out or crawl the floor for hours. Or tell you "shhh!", because they think the cops are outside, or in their laundry room. I cant deal with that paranoid shit.

 

[MrSexypancake]

never carpet surfed

Yay, there's a name for it.

"Getting help" would only hurt at this point. I could lose my education, my job, maybe even girlfriend. Not to mention the fact that my family would not only fail to be supportive, but would essentially break ties with me. I haven't been in it that long, I feel like I like the action of smoking more than the feel of it. I'm just worried about the depression that seems to be inherent in stim comedowns.

What will withdrawals be like for a one month user?

 

[MrSexypancake]

Yeah, I can get paranoid about things while sober. That being said, I consider myself a rational person, and have been able to dismiss any crazy ideas about cops following me. I've seen people behave the way you described them though. I do get nervous if a legitimate police officer is behind me in traffic. When I first started I was afraid that residues from the vapor would stick to walls and give off an odor or be detectable, but nothing I have found has reliable information one way or the other with regards to testing for meth use.

 

[T. Calderone]

Dude you need to just stop it and never look back. I've seen my sister do this with looking on the floor, certain that she dropped a little piece. She never stopped and I'm really scared for her. If you can't go to rehab, that's ok but you have to make up your mind you don't want to use again. The withdrawals won't kill you - yeah it may be uncomfortable. You're going to crave it and that's the hard part is the cravings. Once you get past them, you will be okay. Keep yourself hydrated and eat healthy foods and vitamin supplements. Get out while you have your wits about you.

 

[MrSexypancake]

You're going to crave it and that's the hard part is the cravings.

What about the lack of dopamine? I'm normally prone to depression, so I feel like this could really blow.

Also, with regards to the looking thing. I didn't do it for hours, though I think it says something that I did it at all.

 

[LonE1]

"Getting help" would only hurt at this point. I could lose my education, my job, maybe even girlfriend. Not to mention the fact that my family would not only fail to be supportive, but would essentially break ties with me. I haven't been in it that long, I feel like I like the action of smoking more than the feel of it. I'm just worried about the depression that seems to be inherent in stim comedowns.

Your gunna lose all of those regardless if you keep going, youve made it through one month, you come to bluelight saying that realization that you may have a problem, now your saying help is going to hurt?? Get real man.

 

[LonE1]

Btw get ready for insane cravings all month

 

[MrSexypancake]

Get real man.

There is no way of knowing that I will lose those things if I quit by myself, or even if I continue (not that I plan on it). If I come out and announce to the world that I am abusing hard drugs, however, then my reputation is forever tarnished. Not to mention the fact that I would be giving in to defeatism and just accepting that I can't quit alone, therefore ensuring that I can't.
What about me isn't "real?" I have tried to be honest. Or did you simply mean that my expectations were idyllic?

 

[LonE1]

Im just wondering what your looking for......you never mentioned depression once in your first post

 

[MrSexypancake]

I never mentioned it because my original post was related strange behavior brought on by drug use. I'm not 15; I don't go bitching to strangers about how terrible everything is. When we started to discuss quitting, it prompted me to ask how bad withdrawals were. You mentioned I would have cravings, and I responded by saying that I was more worried about depression being an issue. I fail to see how any of that is shady.

 

[Dfresh05]

Cats out of the bag man addiction hits everyone everywhere somehow your reputation will be tarnished no matter what if you don't stop. Make a doctors appointment and see if they can give you something to come down if you can. I'm addicted to pain meds but I'm a chronic pain patient. So if you tell someone your addicted to something most people won't bat an eyelash cuz I'm sure they've heard it before. Anyway that's my 2 cents good luck. And I dunno if it compares but I took adderall for a couple months straight and stopped cold turkey with some Xanax and weed.

 

[LonE1]

LOL look man Im just trying to help, ive been dealing with addiction to crystal meth for 7 years, and was litterally in the same position you were in a month ago. It was terrible. Considering youve been doing meth all month and are carpet surfing, thats a big deal.

Went to the STATE RUN DETOX (that means no insurance needed) to finally come down because I had bought my 10th burner and picked up another bag. Took one weekend. Work understands because by law drug addiction is considered a disability to most companies. Just bring documentation. I lost my job by then but they are trying to get me back on. Been clean 24 days today. All my teachers understood with documentation but I realize its late in the semester.

What are the withdrawls like?? Expect body aches, feeling like shit, no energy, extremely hungry (especially if you dont smoke cigs), and the worst: the intense cravings. Emotional roller coaster.

Just rememeber to take care of yourself first before worrying about everything else in your life. Take care.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

I have been using Crystal Meth for a month now, and in the middle of my current binge I had realized that this is becoming a problem. It hit me when I stopped to question my behavior while rooting around my bed and floor, trying to find any elusive shard that may have slipped away from me. I was literally trying to decide if an insignificant piece of what I now believe to have been salt, was more crystal.

Does anyone else have any similar anecdotes?

That's pretty par for the course with meth. Haha, I've done my share of carpet surfing, throwing random bits of who-knows-what in the pipe.

Now that you've realized it's a problem, try cutting down your use to one weekend a month (missing no more than one night's sleep), twice tops (if doing it twice, try to get sleep every day). You'll have to see what works for you to avoid too much melancholy/shitty comedowns/after-effects.

For me personally, that was generally start on Friday evening, continue until Saturday evening, drink away comedown, recovery Sunday. With any other use in the month limited to one evening. My mood was pretty well preserved so long as I stuck to this.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Every addict can relate to this.

It's the nature of the beast.

 

[LonE1]

Now that you've realized it's a problem, try cutting down your use to one weekend a month (missing no more than one night's sleep), twice tops (if doing it twice, try to get sleep every day). You'll have to see what works for you to avoid too much melancholy/shitty comedowns/after-effects.

With all due respect considering your a mod, I can say I respectfully disagree with what you said.

I cannot do meth once a month, and I know a ton of other people that could never do that. To me your either tweaking or not tweaking. Meth is not a drug like ecstasy to me; the cravings that follow are too extreme.

 

[Lady Codone]

I was this way with mephedrone, which I found more addictive than meth. I'd stay up for days, get terrifying nosebleeds and scan the carpet for drugs I may have dropped. It was a nightmare. I've never been that way with ANY drug--be it opiates, stimulants or anything else.

When that addiction switch has been flipped, you have to swear the drug off altogether if you want to get well. Sometimes quitting ALL drugs is the only answer. I didn't want to go that route so I found something less addictive to replace meph with. That was 2 years ago and all is well today.