spikeycloud
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2013
- Messages
- 126
Yesterday I decided to use MPA after a long break from stims. I took some MPA before in the past with somewhat different results. Seeing the experience of yesterday?I doubt it is really MPA. I took it to the lab to let it analyzed and I get the results back coming Friday.
Anyway, yesterday I want with a friend clubbing. I snorted around 13 mgs MPA. And took 0,5 mg eitzolam (oral) to get in a bit more calm mindset.
It became pretty quickly apparent that the drug would not give me the evening I hoped for. I was really standing in the club like wtf I?m doing here and my perception seemed to shift quite a lot. At first I thought this was my own mindset. But it became pretty obvious pretty fast that it was getting quite psychedelic and not in a good way. Perceptions changes quicker and quicker it made things very chaotix and confusing. Normally I would not leave the club if things get a bit difficult but this time I did.
After that I stayed a while at the cafeteria close by and had very quick perception shifts. Like that I losing the grip on reality more and more. I tried to stay cool with it but everything started to get so alien. With sometimes a perception how I see things normally.
After that my friend came to the cafeteria and asked how I felt. I could not really explain it because everything changed everytime and I felt a bit guilty leaving him alone in the club. I could not explain really to him what was wrong. He said that nothing could happen if I go back to the club with him. So I decided to go with him even though I knew it would not be great. Back in the club things get even more intense. I tried to remember what my friend said that nothing bad could happen. But that was a reality that I could not hold on for too long and things were changing, and changing. One moment, I feel ok the other I feel scared, the other alienated. After 5 min I could not handle it anymore and went outside and walked back to the car because I could not cope with this changing perspectives mindset.
In the car things got even worse. It was like I was looping in the same thought loop over and over again. I say to myself it is just the drug don?t worry, but 2 seconds later I tottaly forget about this and worry again and think back on how horrible everything was and that this should not have happened. Then I wonder why I find the experience so horrible and then I'm back in the loop. It felt like I was a movie that repeated itself it was very disturbing.
I could not do anything just to sit it out and hope my friend will come back soon so that we can go home. Almost every second in that car felt like a torture, I could not recognize reality anymore. Everything still looked the same outside, but still it felt alien and even I felt alirn. It felt like my perception keep changing and changing. If I would like walk to point A to B for an example my perception could have changed 30 times with in the back of my mind to walk to point B. Sometimes I even forgot that was walking to point B.
After a while my friend finally showed up and we drove back home he was interested in what I experience (he trips a lot) I could barely explain it. And here too everything seemed to change. Even if asked a question my perception could change within that question and could not understand the question anymore. I did not understand much at that moment. I could barely recognize my own neighborhood. My friend said that I probably experienced ego loss, but I dunno?
Well not to make things too long..I suppose this should not be happening on MPA?.did anyone experience any of this MPA? Or does it sound like another drug you guys might know?
Today I'm still thinking a lot about yesterday. It's extremely hard for me to let go maybe it needs some time.
Anyway, yesterday I want with a friend clubbing. I snorted around 13 mgs MPA. And took 0,5 mg eitzolam (oral) to get in a bit more calm mindset.
It became pretty quickly apparent that the drug would not give me the evening I hoped for. I was really standing in the club like wtf I?m doing here and my perception seemed to shift quite a lot. At first I thought this was my own mindset. But it became pretty obvious pretty fast that it was getting quite psychedelic and not in a good way. Perceptions changes quicker and quicker it made things very chaotix and confusing. Normally I would not leave the club if things get a bit difficult but this time I did.
After that I stayed a while at the cafeteria close by and had very quick perception shifts. Like that I losing the grip on reality more and more. I tried to stay cool with it but everything started to get so alien. With sometimes a perception how I see things normally.
After that my friend came to the cafeteria and asked how I felt. I could not really explain it because everything changed everytime and I felt a bit guilty leaving him alone in the club. I could not explain really to him what was wrong. He said that nothing could happen if I go back to the club with him. So I decided to go with him even though I knew it would not be great. Back in the club things get even more intense. I tried to remember what my friend said that nothing bad could happen. But that was a reality that I could not hold on for too long and things were changing, and changing. One moment, I feel ok the other I feel scared, the other alienated. After 5 min I could not handle it anymore and went outside and walked back to the car because I could not cope with this changing perspectives mindset.
In the car things got even worse. It was like I was looping in the same thought loop over and over again. I say to myself it is just the drug don?t worry, but 2 seconds later I tottaly forget about this and worry again and think back on how horrible everything was and that this should not have happened. Then I wonder why I find the experience so horrible and then I'm back in the loop. It felt like I was a movie that repeated itself it was very disturbing.
I could not do anything just to sit it out and hope my friend will come back soon so that we can go home. Almost every second in that car felt like a torture, I could not recognize reality anymore. Everything still looked the same outside, but still it felt alien and even I felt alirn. It felt like my perception keep changing and changing. If I would like walk to point A to B for an example my perception could have changed 30 times with in the back of my mind to walk to point B. Sometimes I even forgot that was walking to point B.
After a while my friend finally showed up and we drove back home he was interested in what I experience (he trips a lot) I could barely explain it. And here too everything seemed to change. Even if asked a question my perception could change within that question and could not understand the question anymore. I did not understand much at that moment. I could barely recognize my own neighborhood. My friend said that I probably experienced ego loss, but I dunno?
Well not to make things too long..I suppose this should not be happening on MPA?.did anyone experience any of this MPA? Or does it sound like another drug you guys might know?
Today I'm still thinking a lot about yesterday. It's extremely hard for me to let go maybe it needs some time.
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