Heroin Question about MINIMAL usage??

[ve3167]

Hello there! This is my first post and I will try not to make it too wordy. I've got a question about withdrawals from very minimal heroin usage, so let me explain.

I am a recreational drug user, and that is an overstatement. I used to experiment a lot more in high school but now about all I do is smoke weed and take a Xanax like, twice a week. I've never been addicted to anything, never really tried anything besides weed and Xanax more than a few times. I have a VERY low tolerance to almost any drug I try. I use drugs most of the time to "put me in a good mood"; by this I mean that with most pills I've tried, I've never really taken enough to get HIGH. Just feeling a little good.

This changed slightly a few months ago when I was introduced to heroin. It was a strange transition, sure, because I've never even tried opioids or painkillers at all. My cousin is a heroin addict and I got a few bags from her. I began snorting one to two lines a day, and this persisted for two weeks. I never was doped out, never had cravings, and due to my past drug usage, I thought this was fine. The lines I snorted were VERY small; for example, one bag would last me like, two or three days. I thought this was fine, as my heroin addicted cousin snorts 8 bags a night.

After two weeks, I decided to stop as I didn't want to get addicted. I still thought I was doing pretty good in that department as it was easy to stop. Needless to say, I still had withdrawals. I was surprised that they were flu-like; obviously, I've had no previous experience. The physical symptoms were mild, probably because my usage was so minimal, but I had CRIPPLING depression for the following two weeks. Wtf? I know this is a withdrawal but with other symptoms being mild, I didn't expect it to be so overwhelming. I am prone to depression and maybe that's why. My question is, is this typical? I was just back to feeling normal last week. It's confusing because I've dealt with depression in the past and could not tell if it was another episode or simply triggered by heroin.

My last question: I snorted a tiny line tonight just like I used to. I have been totally clean from it and I DO NOT plan on doing it again. No more "tiny lines" for the next few days as I don't want to experience depression like that again. So the question is, will I experience depression tomorrow? From minimal one time use? I'm so nervous about it right now. I know I will be sick in the morning cause I haven't used in a while, but that's fine. And I remember when I first started, I didn't feel depressed or anything. It was after the few weeks of doing it every day. Will I have depression from withdrawals from one use?

Thanks! This was still too wordy, I'm sorry.

 

[sekio]

After two weeks, I decided to stop as I didn't want to get addicted. I still thought I was doing pretty good in that department as it was easy to stop.[ ... ]
My last question: I snorted a tiny line tonight just like I used to. I have been totally clean from it and I DO NOT plan on doing it again.

Easy to stop eh? Don't you kid yourself.

If you were doing heroin on a regular basis for 2 weeks, that's more than enough to cultivate a nice dependency that will leave you feeling crappy when you stop. The rule of thumb is 3 days of continuous use is enough to get into withdrawal territory, although it obviously varies from person to person.

So the question is, will I experience depression tomorrow? From minimal one time use? I'm so nervous about it right now. I know I will be sick in the morning cause I haven't used in a while, but that's fine. And I remember when I first started, I didn't feel depressed or anything. It was after the few weeks of doing it every day. Will I have depression from withdrawals from one use?

You probably will. The unspoken rule is that every time you go into withdrawal it just gets worse. Eventually chronic users will get rebound effects/crashes/cravings from even doing a single dose.
If you're not doing anything to deal with your depression except doing opioids, then you will for sure get depressed as soon as you stop again. This is part of how opioids suck you in.

Heroin is a really potent opioid, a dose for a naive user is measured in single-digit milligrams. So doing two lines a day is way more than enough to throw off your body's natural equilibrium.

I'll be honest with you, you should stop doing heroin. It sounds like you are on the cusp of a very dangerous and painful pit. There is nothing at the end of the road you're walking except sadness. Stick to smoking weed as a recreational drug.

 

[Erikmen]

Very true. Do it while you still can.

 

[sekio]

Also: the fact that you are emphasizing how "minimal" your usage is, despite it clearly causing withdrawals that effect your emotional stability, is a big red warning sign you should consider... do you really think it's a trivial consequence to be depressed for a week or longer from what should nominally be 'recreational' use?

 

[Soulgasm]

It's been said on these forums many a time but I'll say it again: welcome to hell. At least you're in good company.

 

[ve3167]

You're absolutely right, thanks for the advice. I honestly wasn't having cravings or thoughts about it in this past month, even while I was depressed, because the high just isn't something I want to feel everyday. Still, it clearly messed with me the first time I tried to use casually. I was just wondering what I should expect tomorrow. I guess it's a good thing I experienced withdrawals the first time because it's something I never want to experience again! I had totally stupid misconceptions about the "tiny" amount I was doing in comparison to others. Hopefully, if I got through the withdrawals and depression the first time, I can handle tomorrow and never touch the stuff again! Thanks.

 

[simco]

To the OP: I'm in a somewhat similar boat, though a bit farther down the river than you . that is, I was never anything but a very casual drug user until I happened to get turned onto heroin about a year ago. Now I'm a sorta recreational user. I've never used for multiple days back-to-back. But I've been using about twice a week for a good while now. Just like you: small lines here and there for the most part. No IV'ing.

While at least until recently I've kept physical WD's at bay, the psychological claws of the drug are REAL and they come out fast. If I get good an high one night, I'll feel like hell the next day: puking, headache... I can deal with all those. But the depression is just vile.

The advice you'll see over and over on BL is "get out now," and I'm sure it's right. In the meantime, I think it's good to realize though that even without physical dependency, profound cravings and black depression are part of the game when it comes to smack.

I'm saying all this because, as you figure out what strategy you want to take when approaching this drug, be sure to factor in the mental aspect. Be honest with yourself about how much you find yourself thinking about H. When you feel bleak, ask yourself why. Heroin is really insidious about working its way into your thoughts. Be smart and let those answers point you in the direction that's best for you.

Good luck! (btw, since it does sound like you and I have similar relationships to the drug, feel free to PM me...or not, whatevs)

 

[Diesel50]

I am a former opiate addict but now I only use 2-3 times a week. Its hard but having other drugs makes it easier. (not that I'm advising that)

Not everyone can do it and it is SO easy to get addicted and once you start noticing yourself making excuses to get high (like "I had a hard day" or "Just this one week") take a long break. Don't use opiates if you're depressed or unhappy with your life because if you do you're for sure gonna get hooked.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

No justification is good enough to justify 2 weeks of everyday heroin use. There is no rational way to explain it other than, you are addicted. Stop now, stop making excuses, you used for 2 weeks in a row so you are clearly at risk for a full blown addiction If you continue.

 

[keeping]

op you did a bad thing and you should feel bad.

 

[simco]

Diesel, I'm trying to figure some stuff out in this space... you say you're using 2-3 times/week but that you're a *former* addict. So do you feel that the 2/3 times per week is manageable on an ongoing basis without getting tied to physical WDs? Obviously it's gonna vary from person to person. But you find that doable?