Mental Health Psychosis, OCD, Aspergers

[Mayonaise812]

Hello everyone. posted here about 3 years ago when i was steady into drugs. Coming back sober and on medication now (18 months clean from meth). The reason why i post is just for some support. I was recently within 3 years (22 now), diagnosed with Psychosis, OCD, Aspergers. After being put on a cocktail of medication (bupropion, zoloft, olanzipine, trileptal). i felt a little better but its almost like the medication makes me depressed. I definately feel like i can think more clearly and connect my thoughts together, got rid of the voices at night and night terrors, dreams etc. but i feel this overwhelming sense of emptiness almost like i cannot connect with anyone and when i do its like im always craving more. I recently quit my job after saving a good chunk of change and i almost feel too empty to start anything new. becuase of this i feel like i should stop taking the medication. I have in the past stopped taking medication and then had psychotic episodes where it felt like everyone was trying to kill me, couldnt sit still, couldnt sleep for days. but i am just tired of it and wish i could feel normal and seek meaningful relationships again. Any advice on how to cope with this?

 

[jobe28]

I feel pretty similar. Im diagnosed with schizophrenia and on antipsychotics. I dont know if its depression that I feel but just a lack of motivation and creativity.

I think its just a side-effect of the medication (olanzipine in your case).

There are other treatment options that Im persuing. E.g. CBD (cannabidiol) - one of the cannabinoids in cannabis has shown to be as effective as anti-psychotics for treating schizophrenia and I would assume psychosis (whether drug or stress induced or anything). So if you can get to america, specifically colorado - you can buy cannabis strains that are high enough in it to provide you with what you need to take care of it. (i worked it out - youd need about 3.5 grams of cannabis a day.. this is assuming you can get the highest cbd containing strain. so its not really that cheap. but its reasonably affordable)

It sounds like your psychosis might be drug-induced. Is that true, or is actual schizophrenia? If its drug-induced you might be able to eventually just taper off the medication and be fine if you just avoid meth again. if its schizophrenia there is another thing id recommend. I dont know if it works, but im trying it -- "orthomolecular treatment" - which means using mega-doses of vitamins (mainly vitamin b3) to try to normalize your brain chemistry. People are often (apparently) allergic to foods which actually trigger psychosis too - so that means you could benefit from doing a short fast (go about 5 days without food), and then slowly reintroduce foods one by one and see if any cause any psychotic effects.

 

[Mayonaise812]

I feel pretty similar. Im diagnosed with schizophrenia and on antipsychotics. I dont know if its depression that I feel but just a lack of motivation and creativity.

I think its just a side-effect of the medication (olanzipine in your case).

There are other treatment options that Im persuing. E.g. CBD (cannabidiol) - one of the cannabinoids in cannabis has shown to be as effective as anti-psychotics for treating schizophrenia and I would assume psychosis (whether drug or stress induced or anything). So if you can get to america, specifically colorado - you can buy cannabis strains that are high enough in it to provide you with what you need to take care of it. (i worked it out - youd need about 3.5 grams of cannabis a day.. this is assuming you can get the highest cbd containing strain. so its not really that cheap. but its reasonably affordable)

It sounds like your psychosis might be drug-induced. Is that true, or is actual schizophrenia? If its drug-induced you might be able to eventually just taper off the medication and be fine if you just avoid meth again. if its schizophrenia there is another thing id recommend. I dont know if it works, but im trying it -- "orthomolecular treatment" - which means using mega-doses of vitamins (mainly vitamin b3) to try to normalize your brain chemistry. People are often (apparently) allergic to foods which actually trigger psychosis too - so that means you could benefit from doing a short fast (go about 5 days without food), and then slowly reintroduce foods one by one and see if any cause any psychotic effects.

Yeah I am a self taught musician, medication has killed my creativity, motivation for many things. i was able to trudge through the day working and going to school at the same time but it left me feeling empty. i change my daily routine very often also.

I am in washington state so i have been consuming cannabis. roughly 1 gram/day of high thc strains which it does help psychosis imo. but marijuana alone and spread evenly throughout the day.

I believe however that at first the psychosis was drug induced. but i also remain clean from other drugs and sometimes show psychotic symptoms under high stress environments like social gatherings, almost a paranoia and social anxiety which makes it so i just run away from social functions even with no drugs in me. thank you, however for the suggestion on the vitimin b3 i will try that and fasting.

 

[jobe28]

I am in washington state so i have been consuming cannabis. roughly 1 gram/day of high thc strains which it does help psychosis imo. but marijuana alone and spread evenly throughout the day.

Well I actually meant specifically high-cbd strains of cannabis. As far as I know most cannabis has a fairly low CBD content (1% or something). But you can get some strains (which are quite rare, and therefore only really available in a few places around the world) with a much higher content (around 30% or something). Being in washington it should be pretty easy for you to get onto it with the new laws. I think it would be worth a try.

Also.. if the psychosis wasnt caused by schizophrenia i dont know if the vitamins would do anything. Schizophrenics have a chemical in their brain similar to mescaline and the vitamin b3 is used to slowly neutralize/remove it or whatever. Im not really sure how psychosis works for other causes (that arent from schizophrenia).

 

[Mayonaise812]

Well I actually meant specifically high-cbd strains of cannabis. As far as I know most cannabis has a fairly low CBD content (1% or something). But you can get some strains (which are quite rare, and therefore only really available in a few places around the world) with a much higher content (around 30% or something). Being in washington it should be pretty easy for you to get onto it with the new laws. I think it would be worth a try.

Also.. if the psychosis wasnt caused by schizophrenia i dont know if the vitamins would do anything. Schizophrenics have a chemical in their brain similar to mescaline and the vitamin b3 is used to slowly neutralize/remove it or whatever. Im not really sure how psychosis works for other causes (that arent from schizophrenia).

thanks, looking into high cbd strains at my local dispensaries.

 

[BZboo]

Talk to your doctor about your symptoms and be clear about how you are feeling, I can not stress this enough. I have a friend who suffers from bi-polar disorder who basically is tired all the time and has stated that his medication makes him "feel dead". I can't understand why he has chosen to live this way for so long and not express himself clearly to his doctor. Anyways, please talk to your doctor, but keep checking in with us on BL. Your experience would be appreciate certainly by me since I also suffer from mental illness.

 

[BZboo]

Yeah I am a self taught musician, medication has killed my creativity, motivation for many things. i was able to trudge through the day working and going to school at the same time but it left me feeling empty. i change my daily routine very often also.

I experienced a loss of creativity as well while experimenting with different anti-depressants and that feeling that everything is annoying, but I found that forcing myself into social situations like going out to the bar made me feel better, if only for a few hours, but it's nice to get temporary relief.

 

[Mayonaise812]

Talk to your doctor about your symptoms and be clear about how you are feeling, I can not stress this enough. I have a friend who suffers from bi-polar disorder who basically is tired all the time and has stated that his medication makes him "feel dead". I can't understand why he has chosen to live this way for so long and not express himself clearly to his doctor. Anyways, please talk to your doctor, but keep checking in with us on BL. Your experience would be appreciate certainly by me since I also suffer from mental illness.

I do talk to my doctor and am also seeing a therapist its mostly guided by me, as anything they tell me symptom wise, medication wise i already know about. I do also hang out with friends ocasionaly but lately i have not been feeling social at all like im alone when im with people so i end up just walking away suddenly and going home. its very hard to explain my situation to new people and i have mostly grown apart from my old friends. mostly i walk away so i can perform tics like rhythmic movements of my finger resting on my head and 3-4 showers a day. When im around people i will sometimes do this and i also have to count by 5's in my head when im nervous/walking side by side someone or face to face alone with someone which prevents me from being able to even have a conversation when it gets bad. very frustrating to say the least ha. this happens whether or not im on medication though

 

[BZboo]

Do you feel like the therapy helps? Unfortunately, for myself I guess I feel as if therapy just doesn't help me as much as it should because I can never be completely honest. Fortunately, I have 2 friends that I can express myself too very honestly and that helps the most. I have also experienced the feeling of feeling alone in a crowded room, a lot of people have. I'm sorry to hear that you can't be more honest with the people around you, but you can be honest on BL for a number of reasons. Keep at it though. I have some OCD tics and occasional number counting obsessions that help me to pacify myself, but I have to remind myself that I will feel worse if I completely isolate myself. How severe is your Aspergers? Some things can be completely remedied and some things you might just have to work at and manage for a lifetime. I think you are really cool for sharing this and hope you continue to get better. let me know.

 

[Mayonaise812]

Do you feel like the therapy helps? Unfortunately, for myself I guess I feel as if therapy just doesn't help me as much as it should because I can never be completely honest. Fortunately, I have 2 friends that I can express myself too very honestly and that helps the most. I have also experienced the feeling of feeling alone in a crowded room, a lot of people have. I'm sorry to hear that you can't be more honest with the people around you, but you can be honest on BL for a number of reasons. Keep at it though. I have some OCD tics and occasional number counting obsessions that help me to pacify myself, but I have to remind myself that I will feel worse if I completely isolate myself. How severe is your Aspergers? Some things can be completely remedied and some things you might just have to work at and manage for a lifetime. I think you are really cool for sharing this and hope you continue to get better. let me know.

The therapy doesnt help much we dont even talk i just go because i need to for the medication pretty much i lie and say im fine etc. my aspergers is mild, i do have trouble with social aspects of life and i did not know what body language was for most of my life. my free time revolves around reading very deeply into subjects that interest me lately its been computers. before its been music, which has carried with me still, and before that was paintball. the tics are what really makes me upset most of the time though and i do it to destress but it makes me sad like im very unnatural. There also has been times where i feel telepathic. like i would be able to have shared dreams with people and communicate my music to people while they sleep just by focusing on someone and playing/singing i would know they recieve the communication becuase of a tone in my ear which still happens to this day but ive only been able to do that with other musicians/drug users.. Ill hear a tone and its someone thinking about me(at least thats what i believe) also physical sensations like touch/tingles on certain body parts which started when i learned to meditate... it has been proven to me lately that there are some aspects of the situation that i really cannot explain but either there has been crazy coincidences or theres more of a connection to people than we can imagine.