psychiatrist apt. amazing then crappy

[molly897]

that was a major bust got diagnosed borderline personality, panic and anxiety disorder. prescribed lexapro, which is pretty much ecstasy its a serotonin reupper only like every antidepressant you can gain weight. So i call him up and say sorry look, I saw numerous people gained weight on this and couldnt even come off it because they got brain shocks, i am not taking this, and i am not going to go through coming off that. hes gunna call me back. ive been taking xanaxs little sister librium everytime i have a mood swing or get a mad. I've been freaking out like this for two years had no idea why suddenly it all makes god damn sense 250$ later... but i refuse to take these antidepressants. REFUSE. i havent eaten over 1200 cals in the last 7 months for 100%.. and the fucking weight gain on its unexplainable .how am i celebrating finding out this shits not all in my head? doing some coke tonight. because my anti depressant which is the best on the market, wont even have affect for 2 weeks. I can't get a mood stabilizer because they are weight gainers as well, and anti psychotics well I think I have to be a little more bat shit to get those. you know why he gae me lexipro? I told him i did ecstasy, and hes like well, I'm going to give you serotonin upper in 10 mg form to make me not depressed. Yet here i am again today flipping out and crying for no fucking reason. so i told him again.. i need something that works now. i can't keep freaking out. and now i have to wait til next thursday to even talk to him in person.

all i want is a fucking pill that makes me ok with life because then I wouldnt want to do coke or any drug for that matter. I spilled my guts out to that guy told him about my drug use and he used it to benefit me but he gae me the wrong shit. its probably not the wrong shit I'm hysteric and it seems petty but I have had a problem for two years and my mind cannot handle taking somethign that has more control over my weight than I do

not sure if this is even in the right spot or if bitching posts are even allowed in here but maybe someone has advice on what to do or take or think or something im literally in tears

 

[dieselbaby]

It sounds to me like there are some much deeper issues at play here. You're not going to find some magical pill that's going to make everything better, that's for sure.

 

[Divine Moments]

Hey mate, sorry but I don't have too much to offer but here goes

Firstly, SSRIs (such as your antidepressant, lexapro) are quite different from ecstasy. They work on the same chemical in your brain but won't have the same type of effect. Also take a look at the thread on Antidepressants and Recreational Drugs - some combinations are dangerous and others won't work at all.

Secondly, can you give us a bit of a timeline of when all this happened and how long you've been taking any medications for? I can't quite work it all out from your post. There aren't any antidepressants (or any drugs at all) that are universally effective so it can be hard finding what's right for you. There are some that shouldn't make you gain weight though. Just keep in mind that they often take several months to take effect and you always need to weigh the positives against the negatives. The side effects may be bad, but are they worse than depression, anxiety and addiction? Only you can say.

Like dieselbaby said, you can't rely on a drug to completely turn your life around. They can be extremely helpful for some people though. Having counselling (e.g. psychiatrist or psychologist) as well is usually more helpful too.

Remember there's light at the end of the tunnel. Hope things get better soon

 

[molly897]

thank you. That really is it, i'm going to have to come off them someday and if it makes me suffer brain shocks to come off and gain weight i know for a fact that will make me just as depressed as I am without it,. I took it one day... made me completely apathetic the next day. I wasnt depressed anymore I just had no feeling at all. i didnt even want to be affectionate to my boyfriend. so i flushed the pills. coke really does seem to be the only fix temp or not it works although its shitty. Id be doing dope instead so i guess its good i cant find it. i really dont see the difference between using a drug legally and illegally because botyh of them arent fixing shit just masking it in the long run. especially anti depressants. those are just to keep you happy while you go retrain your brain through 'exercises' to learn right from wrong. bleh

 

[Mr Blonde]

^ The point of taking an antidepressant is to balance you out while you work on the issues that lead to the depression. I found cognitive behavioral therapy to work for me for depression and anxiety.

Maybe you could ask your shrink about buproprion? It's a dopamine re-uptake inhibitor that is also used for quitting smoking, shouldn't make you apathetic and shouldn't give you weight gain.

 

[DoseYouAll]

Good on you for not taking lexapro. That stuff is evil, I never hallucinated so hard as I did on lexapro.

 

[molly897]

I am going to ask him about wellbutrin thanks. coke makes me 'normal'. I always want to do coke and go about my day. I think i do have a dopamine deficiency. he only said no to wellbutrin cause i told him molly made me feel 'euphoric' so he thinks I need serotonin. apparently not many bad side effects with this stuff either. Sigh of relieffffff

and thats scary^ thanks