Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2000
- Messages
- 13,773
This is less a 'trip report' from my end, but more a writing exercise for myself that I will eventually finish as a trip report. I have encouraged my friend to write up his end and I am not sure he ever will...so this is what exists for the time being. I will edit and add to it so if you like the story, check it out again in a week as I imagine it will change. And thank you my other friend for not minding me taking the PM I wrote you for the base of this story...I am glad you understand. Names and places have been changed to protect the private.
My old friend W (early trip partner, then we stopped seeing each other often when I moved, since I've been back here only seen him about 6 times, brilliant musician and married with a kid) had his place to himself as his wife and kid were in Indonesia. We did psilocin and from the start I should have recognized that he thought it would be like it was before (we just take the shit and hope for the best, that we would 'philosophize' and whatever preconceived notions he had because he doesn't know me post iboga.) I was in 'full ritual mode' which I do for 'special sessions' and blessed each room with a candle, walked to his son's room and prayed (or sent vibes, choose your flavor) to him, asked him to do the same. Then we took it and listened to this Indonesian music and (later after the trip) said I became a reptile...which was symbolic for me as I love turtles but he said I was a lizard which is also significant but I'll tell that one later.
Anyway suddenly a storm came, the tornado alarm went off, grabbed the PC to see the radar and it was in our area so I asked him to grab his cats and go in his basement, all hell broke lose. He just lost his shit, kept grabbing his cats (they were with me, he was out of it), he would not stay in the basement. I kept saying, 'Man we are just gonna hang in the basement for 10 minutes, its worth our time." I said, 'Do what I do" and sat at peace against the wall depersonalizing and breathing in rhythm. And he thought I was playing mind games with him. I would be at peace with the tornado and God and meditated and he was asking me why I was closing my eyes, why did I say this, that, I kept telling him to play his guitar, make us some music, he would for a minute then stop, got sweaty and couldn't breathe, then ran upstairs (at this point he later admitted when we talked about what happened that God told him how his body is a temple and he realized the error of his way with his eating habits, and how not eating with his wife and kid are causing marriage problems since she makes food and he goes out to McDonalds and eats alone).
He came back down at my insistence (actually we played a symbolic game where he was acting child-like and said 'no one understands' and would not come in the basement for everyone's safety. I was having to reason with him to come down and trip in the awesome basement with the nice couch, we will be ok, etc....finally he came in when I gave up and went down myself. Then kept asking me what I took from him. And said 'They took it away.' Later he said he God took his music away because he lost faith, then he was Elisha (his son) and was taken away in the tornado (like the Elisha of the Bible). The CONSTANT symbolism in this trip was astounding. Finally when it seemed to pass (the actual tornado) we went upstairs.
I grabbed a turtle lamp from his kids room that projected the stars on the ceiling and he started playing guitar and we talked about what happened. The stars and constellations were out, we were tripping, and it was so beautiful but suddenly I saw more symbolism...I was his son, my dad (W) was playing guitar with me. W has esteem issues with his playing (he is classically trained and brilliant so his esteem issues are pretty crazy) but that night he played like a concert all ad-libbed...I told him I was Elisha he was my dad and the lessons MGS and you learned are being spoken to me in your playing. Told him you can teach your son more this way than most other parents do with a TV. He agreed and it was beautiful.
I was pretty impressed with my visionary power that night, I really was. The next day we had some SERIOUS ego problems, I was just doing what I do (I am always on, you know what I mean you know....smart, a purpose in everything I say...never talk small talk or BS) and he just stuck his ego into everything I said and accused me of doing just that (I wasn't). Oh part of my thing is I ask for trip reports, the next day he refused saying it was too personal, and I was pretty frustrated at that point and said something I shouldn't have...I said "make your report like a review about a trip to Disney Land. I want to hear about the roller coaster ride and how the tuns and the loop was...not how you fucked your wife that night at the hotel."
Now I have heard him use that word before but knowing there were having intimacy problems it was a POOR choice of words, he lost his shit and stopped talking to me. Then he left for Asia...but thankfully wrote me to say he was sorry and I'm relieved. I know he went through some SERIOUS personal issues on that trip, I left a lot out, so I know it broke him down and I really should have been better prepared for that.
To be concluded soon.....
My old friend W (early trip partner, then we stopped seeing each other often when I moved, since I've been back here only seen him about 6 times, brilliant musician and married with a kid) had his place to himself as his wife and kid were in Indonesia. We did psilocin and from the start I should have recognized that he thought it would be like it was before (we just take the shit and hope for the best, that we would 'philosophize' and whatever preconceived notions he had because he doesn't know me post iboga.) I was in 'full ritual mode' which I do for 'special sessions' and blessed each room with a candle, walked to his son's room and prayed (or sent vibes, choose your flavor) to him, asked him to do the same. Then we took it and listened to this Indonesian music and (later after the trip) said I became a reptile...which was symbolic for me as I love turtles but he said I was a lizard which is also significant but I'll tell that one later.
Anyway suddenly a storm came, the tornado alarm went off, grabbed the PC to see the radar and it was in our area so I asked him to grab his cats and go in his basement, all hell broke lose. He just lost his shit, kept grabbing his cats (they were with me, he was out of it), he would not stay in the basement. I kept saying, 'Man we are just gonna hang in the basement for 10 minutes, its worth our time." I said, 'Do what I do" and sat at peace against the wall depersonalizing and breathing in rhythm. And he thought I was playing mind games with him. I would be at peace with the tornado and God and meditated and he was asking me why I was closing my eyes, why did I say this, that, I kept telling him to play his guitar, make us some music, he would for a minute then stop, got sweaty and couldn't breathe, then ran upstairs (at this point he later admitted when we talked about what happened that God told him how his body is a temple and he realized the error of his way with his eating habits, and how not eating with his wife and kid are causing marriage problems since she makes food and he goes out to McDonalds and eats alone).
He came back down at my insistence (actually we played a symbolic game where he was acting child-like and said 'no one understands' and would not come in the basement for everyone's safety. I was having to reason with him to come down and trip in the awesome basement with the nice couch, we will be ok, etc....finally he came in when I gave up and went down myself. Then kept asking me what I took from him. And said 'They took it away.' Later he said he God took his music away because he lost faith, then he was Elisha (his son) and was taken away in the tornado (like the Elisha of the Bible). The CONSTANT symbolism in this trip was astounding. Finally when it seemed to pass (the actual tornado) we went upstairs.
I grabbed a turtle lamp from his kids room that projected the stars on the ceiling and he started playing guitar and we talked about what happened. The stars and constellations were out, we were tripping, and it was so beautiful but suddenly I saw more symbolism...I was his son, my dad (W) was playing guitar with me. W has esteem issues with his playing (he is classically trained and brilliant so his esteem issues are pretty crazy) but that night he played like a concert all ad-libbed...I told him I was Elisha he was my dad and the lessons MGS and you learned are being spoken to me in your playing. Told him you can teach your son more this way than most other parents do with a TV. He agreed and it was beautiful.
I was pretty impressed with my visionary power that night, I really was. The next day we had some SERIOUS ego problems, I was just doing what I do (I am always on, you know what I mean you know....smart, a purpose in everything I say...never talk small talk or BS) and he just stuck his ego into everything I said and accused me of doing just that (I wasn't). Oh part of my thing is I ask for trip reports, the next day he refused saying it was too personal, and I was pretty frustrated at that point and said something I shouldn't have...I said "make your report like a review about a trip to Disney Land. I want to hear about the roller coaster ride and how the tuns and the loop was...not how you fucked your wife that night at the hotel."
Now I have heard him use that word before but knowing there were having intimacy problems it was a POOR choice of words, he lost his shit and stopped talking to me. Then he left for Asia...but thankfully wrote me to say he was sorry and I'm relieved. I know he went through some SERIOUS personal issues on that trip, I left a lot out, so I know it broke him down and I really should have been better prepared for that.
To be concluded soon.....
Last edited:
Gonna see my friend tonight in fact.