Premonition 5 years ago, during ayahuasca ceremony of my mother dying from cancer

[robbli777]

I'm not sure where to post this, but I'll try here.

5 years ago in 2018, I attended a number of shamanic ayahuasca retreats. I had a pretty difficult time during some of them, it was far from idyllic, and I was going through "The Dark Night Of The Soul". During one ceremony, I had a vision I was in a local hospital (that I didn't recognize at the time, as the wards and building hadn't been built). I was in a private room, 2 people walked in, a male doctor and a female nurse, informing my mother she only has days to live due to cancer. At the time, I remember I was very dismissive, in denial, my ego (being a former atheist / nihilist) was saying things along the lines of "It's a lie, it's BS. I'm being manipulated, she won't get cancer". Unfortunately, I do not recall writing down the experience in my journal I had taken with me, then over the next few months and years, the vision was forced back into the deepest depths of my mind and almost forgotten.

Fast-forward to last month, my Beloved Mother passed away in late August 2023 from metastatic cancer (sarcoma). It was very difficult to observe, after spending 6 months caring for her and spending her last days by her side being pumped with Midazolam and Fentanyl after she agreed to be put onto the "End of Life Care" protocol. I'm full of mixed emotions, plus upon my research away from mainstream narratives and the corrupt pharmaceutical industry, I believe what may have aggravated or caused the cancer to develop after her numerous boosters (). What shocked me the most, is that the vision I had 5 years came true. I was horrified as I was in the hospital private room by her side, then the male doctor and female nurse walked in informing her of the impending doom, the memories of the vision from the ayahuasca ceremony flooded back into my consciousness mind and body, I stared out of the window in horror, I felt so wracked with guilt also, for not warning my mother earlier about her cancer, dismissing what I witnessed during the ayahuasca ceremony as woo-woo spiritual BS.

My mother was cremated last week, I bawled my eyes out and feel angry at myself, the guilt about ignoring the warning, this corrupt system and whether this event was all set in stone for my life journey. I don't know how to process this and speak about it openly to someone who understands, would speaking to a priest or a spiritual (shamanic) healer help in some way spiritually and mentally to process fully what has happened? Thanks for reading.

 

[robbli777]

was it a warning though? How could you have stopped it? I don’t think it was a warning I think it was a glimpse into the future
time supposedly exists as it is now the future the past and all iterations of at the same time encompassed at once
just because you got a preview of the future doesn’t mean you had the chance to stop the future

I agree with the crossed out statement
but we are all going to die I believe in reincarnation and I believe in God
the two seem to contradict but I don’t think they do

I think and these are all my thoughts as worthwhile and I worthwhile as anyones thoughts in that the resonate truth within me and you can take and leave as much or as little or nothing from them as you want

but the one and only thing I would see as something actionable from that premonition was that you spent more time with your mother and showed her or told her you loved her

everything else was out of your hands
he’s the things but we don’t know if they were the cause we can think it but we don’t know
and cancer is set in motion long before you get it
it may have made things move faster but it may have in fact been inevitable
the fact that you saw it as a premonition makes me feel that it was inevitable


you were not shown things about yourself that you could control or change you were allowed to see and brace yourself if you allowed yourself to believe the vision the fu of another human soul
and by that very definition of another individual you have no control over the outcome no matter how you try


i have tried to change the outcome of another persons life and have made it worse, been ignored, lost them

i have had some very strange things reveal themselves while tripping
i was tripping and kept coming to these realizations about things and then it was as if there was a stamp in red ink slammed over the realization and the memory disappeared
I don’t share those things because what are people going to think?
take less next time girly?

I don’t know I’m tempted to erase this because I was twirled around in circles and made no discernible point
but maybe I’ll leave it for now

but I’m going to reiterate
I don’t think you were shown that to as a warning
I think you were shown the future just as it would be because you tapped into those parts of the mind that we once probably knew how to use but have lost or have been made ignorant of on purpose along the way
the indigenous people used hallucinogenics throughout time for reasons such as these but us in our profound lack of wisdom have grown distant from that and suffered greatly for it


I am so sotry you lost your mother
I lost my father last June and I have learned more about him in this year without him then all the years we had together and I miss him
He did things for me and allowed my mother to take credit for them because he didn’t need credit and now I can’t thank him and it’s all gone
my heart goes out to you

I looked up and immediately saw a typo there are probably tons I can’t reread this I’m sorry for all the mistakes

Just want to say, I really appreciate your response and thoughts, they really came from the Heart, thank you. Please don't erase the message, and sorry for the loss of your Father last June.

It's seemingly beyond words or comprehension to explain these feelings and emotions. I also lost my father in June after a bad fall, 11 weeks before my mother passed. It seems like this is part of my "spiritual journey or awakening", which are far from cushy and idyllic.

I placed a beautiful rose from her garden between her hands a few minutes after she passed away.

 

[TripSitterNZ]

psychedelics allow us to transcend space and time allowing us to see the future. Most folk never tune into the proper powers of these tools and so never experince it.

I have many visions come true all the time while tripping.

Losing a parent is tough and its time for healing, it is not your fault at all.

The future is set in stone, all things are predetermined as the past present and future are one and have already occurred.

Remember to love and to live life to the fullest and make your parents proud.

As we age we lose the ones we love and its a whole new experince of life we have to deal with it and it aint easy.

Much love on your journey to healing. Remember we all came from the same source and will return to the peace union of divine love one day.