Elpatron69
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2013
- Messages
- 21
Hello Everyone, just wanted to give the scoop on my adderall addiction. When I first started college, a buddy of mine with ADHD gave me some adderall to try out for studying. It worked great but I never used it that much during my freshman year (maybe once a month). Then came sophomore year... I was 6' 4" 200 lbs at the time and I was generally taking about 40-60 mg of adderall a day around 3 times a week, sometimes 4. Every once in a while dosages would reach 100 mg but would never top that.. And that was never taken all at once, just throughout a given day. Many times in replacement of adderall, I would take 50-100 mg of vyvanse in a given day. This phase lasted about 8 months. I stopped cold turkey about 6 months ago. I was wondering if this abuse of amphetamines would lead to permanent damage to my brain, my personality, my speech, and just my overall lifestyle? And would I be able to recover as time passes? I just want some input from people who are more educated/experienced with the drug. I know a lot of the lingering effects of addiction aren't really based on the damage done to the brain, but due more to the psychological problems from staying in an addictive state of mind for so long. I also want to include the reasons I would use adderal. In the beginning, I used it purely for the sake of studying and being productive... Until one day I was studying and still high on adderall, and ended up hanging out with one of my friends. I couldn't believe how social I had become around people. I was quick, witty, outgoing, and most of all - confident. From this point on, I was working around 30 hours a week at a grocery store and going to school full time, and I was smoking a shitload of weed. It was a constant cycle of me taking adderall to get through the day at work, and smoking weed to come down and relieve the edginess that aderall induced. So its safe to say that I was taking adderall to get through work days for the majority of my usage. However, after discovering the delightful social aspect that adderall brought upon me, I started partying with it on weekends as well. I could drink more, stay up longer, party longer, and best of all.. girls loved me. I got into the habit of taking adderall before going on dates, or else I would be too anxious to go at all. And while I was able to go through work days sober, it got to a point where I would crave adderall when I didn't have it before those dreadful long shifts. Whenever I was around friends and not high on adderall, there came a point where I would just sit there and not really provide any input. Just no motivation to socialize. Once I started seeing that I was dependent on the drug to go and socialize with girls and go on a little date, I questioned myself.. Do I really want to be dependent on this stupid drug and need it EVERY single time I talk to a girl? That drug made me so on point that I could pull of any personality I wanted and boosted my ego through the roof. I felt like I could get any girl I wanted and accomplish anything... Except for the comedowns, which usually came with depression. So I ask the question again.. Would this drug cause any permanent damage to me in the long run? I feel like I just have to learn how to socialize and be sober again.
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