Permanent damage from long term benzo use

[Hector]

Hi, I could really do with some help and advice in regards to long term drug use, specifically benzo's and it's effect on the brain. I've been heavily using illicit as well as prescribed drugs for the past 15 years now and i'm worried that i've caused serious damage to my health. My problem drugs over the years have been alcohol, gbl and benzo's. I used/abused these drugs to self medicate my anxiety and depression. Without them i rarely left the house, i suffered panic attacks and i couldn't maintain relationships because they didn't make me a pleasant person to be around. Now i've stopped them i'm back at square one and the problems have magnified because i never addressed them. What a waste of time! I feel like such a fool.

Anyway, i've been doing some reading and from what i understand it seems i've seriously damaged my GABA a receptor which is why i feel so awful. I also read that it can take years for the receptor to repair itself and return to normal. It's really getting me down, i can't sleep properly, i feel depressed, suffer horrible headaches and i'm ashamed to admit i've considered suicide because my head constantly feels like a washing machine.

I know the healing will be a long process and i need to be patient but i'm fed up, it's been months and i want to start living a happy, normal life like my peers. I'm in my 30's, unemployed, living at home and that's just adding to my feelings of worthlessness. I've fucked up and i accept that, there's no one to blame other than myself.

Does anyone have any advice or been through it themselves and recovered? I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself I've started doing exercise and i've improved my eating habits. Are there beneficial supplements i can take? I don't want to start taking more drugs if i can help it but if that will speed up my recovery then i'm prepared to do so.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Sir Ron Pib]

If it is permanent then that's it really no where to go. It isn't impossible but there's no way to say you have permanently damaged your brain; you've certainly kicked it about a bit but the body is fairly resilient for the most part; if you have been caning these drugs recovery to whatever degree might take a while. Clearly lack of work is a problem that doesn't help depression but hopefully you find work soon. Good diet and exercise are a good start. Meditation or mindfulness or CBT type stuff might be worth looking at for stress and negative thoughts. I and others have had drug habits and self medicated and got through it one way or another - things do change and you have made a good start; best of luck

 

[sekio]

If drugs got you into this problem, they won't get you out.

NSPD --> SL